# What songs do absolutely hate? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 13, 2003, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934 "2003-05-13T13:06:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/61 "2003-05-14T03:35:29Z")
It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world. It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world. It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world. It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world. It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world. It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world. It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world. It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world. It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world. It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world…Everybody sing! ---
**Author:** ![OpusThePenguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7bcc69/32.png) [@OpusThePenguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpusThePenguin)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/62 "2003-05-14T03:54:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoe \* > \*\*It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world. It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small, small world. It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…It’s a small world after all…Everybody sing! \*\* Could be worse. Imagine Celine Dion singing that… ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/63 "2003-05-14T04:33:10Z")
In college, worked in catering at a party where the music was the absolute worst. The first two songs I remember were “Aqualung” and “Deacon Blue”. (I cannot express my hatred for these two songs.) I just kept pouring them more and more wine, in hopes they’d all pass out and I could turn off the music. Sorry, **Krys92gp** , I like Mexican Radio, every now and then. _needs blushing smilies_ ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/64 "2003-05-14T05:25:20Z")
Opus said: [quote] Could be worse. Imagine Celine Dion singing that…\* You are _heartless_!!! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/65 "2003-05-14T06:40:00Z")
I hate any song where the singer decides, in the middle of the song, to _speak_ rather than sing the lyrics. Invariably, they have to slow the cadence down (to fit the music’s timing) so much that they sound like a really bad actor. Which brings me to…any song that uses a mechanical stutter, ala _Max Headroom_. Rap and Techno do this all the fricking time which may explain my hatred for the genre. Or my hatred for the g-g-g-g-genre. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/66 "2003-05-14T12:31:36Z")
**Sylken** , Free Bird was the song that leaped to mind when I saw this thread. No matter where I am or what I’m doing when I hear this song, I stop and depart. Though I’m sure y’all already know this, Dave Barry’s Bad Song Book has some hilarious comments on many of the songs mentioned here. Almost as funny as **jack@ss**. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/67 "2003-05-14T13:47:47Z")
Speaking of “Aqualung”–I don’t mind the song myself, but once someone told me he’d heard a _Muzak_ version of it. That’s just too scary to even think about. I’m with the people who hate Steve Miller. Especially “Take The Money and Run” which is bad on so many different levels (lyrics, music, general concept) that I’d nominate it as the worst song ever in the history of the entire universe. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/68 "2003-05-14T14:23:25Z")
At one point in my appallingly mis-spent life, I was a karaoke host. I learned to hate lots of songs because I heard endless numbers of drunks caterwaul through them. The ones I hate the most: 1. "Margarittaville. To this day, hearing this song sends me into a blind, killing rage. Far and away my most hated song. 2. “My Way.” Why do so many drunks like Sinatra? 3. “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights.” It goes on and on and on… 4. “I’m too Sexy.” We’re not allowed to wish death on people here, alas. 5. “Candle in the Wind.” OK, I hated it all the way back in the '70’s when it first came out. The drunks and the Lady Diana glurge just made me hate it even more. 6. “Jack and Diane.” Inbred shitheels like to get drunk and bellow this one, unecumbered by a melody. 7. “Banana Boat Song.” How shocked they always were to find that the verses were the part they were supposed to sing. The machine did the fun “day-o” part. 8. “I’m so Lonesome I Could Cry.” I’m so sick of this song I could die. 9. “Sweet Home Alabama.” Another favorite of leather-lunged, inbred, hog-offal eating rustics. 10. “American Pie.” Goes on almost as long as “Paradise…” plus it gives the random idjits all over the lounge the opportunity to screech along on the chorus. ---
**Author:** ![mallocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f4b2a3/32.png) [@mallocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mallocks)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/69 "2003-05-14T14:30:06Z")
that Junior-Senior song on the radio at the moment. My ears are actually bleeding. ---
**Author:** ![Engywook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bc8723/32.png) [@Engywook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engywook)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/70 "2003-05-14T17:35:09Z")
There’s one we all forgot - one song so bad that it was weapons-grade. “Dear Mister Jesus.” Every time that kid came on the radio, I was filled with such a chthonic sense of dread that I had to escape, even if it meant plunging to my death from a height of 30,000 feet. I was afraid that Christ would listen to the song once and turn his back on the world forever. The fact that I haven’t heard the song in 14 years is a sign that perhaps he didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![dimosc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dimosc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dimosc)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/71 "2003-05-14T17:49:14Z")
**Girls just wanna have fun** comes to mind… i can’t find something not annoying about this song. music? :eek: lyrics? :eek: :eek: VOICE? :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: etc… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/72 "2003-05-14T18:10:29Z")
“God is watching us (x3)… From a Distance…” > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kaylasdad99 \* > \*\*And that glurgefest [about the shoes, too.](http://www.anysonglyrics.com/lyrics/b/bobcarlisle/christmasshoes.htm) \*\* Yeah, but I _love_ visualizing the cashier at the part where the kid lays out all his money to buy his dead mom some shoes, and the cashier just kind of shruggingly says, “there’s not enough here.” Glurge often has that kind of payoff if you rethink the story from another character’s point of view. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/73 "2003-05-14T18:20:26Z")
Barbara Ann by the Beach Boys. I like the other songs they did, though. Just can’t stand hearing them sing Barbara Ann. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/74 "2003-05-14T18:52:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kaylasdad99 \* > \*\*I’ll expand that to include ANY song, by ANY artist, that employs one or more dead teenagers as its hook. > > _Tell Laura I Love Her > Teen Angel > Leader Of The Pack > Moony River > Last Kiss_ > > Inexplicably, I’m willing to give a pass to _Ode To Billy Joe_ by Bobbie Gentry\*\* Oh, I don’t know **kaylasdad**. Call me a sucker for a dead teenager, but I have a soft spot for those early 60s teenage go-back-to-the-wrecked-car, retrieve-the-high-school-ring-and-die songs. But Bobby Goldsboro (_Honey, L’il Green Apples, Little Things & Watching Scotty Grow_) will all be playing on the day the world ends. Oh, and I hate all the incarnations of _American Woman_. ---
**Author:** ![TwungTister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TwungTister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwungTister)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/75 "2003-05-14T19:08:49Z")
Ditto Ouisey and Flybynight! _I Swear_ Gets stuck in my head, I swear. Gets stuck in my head, I swear. Gets stuck in my head, I swear. _“Where at least I know I’m free!”_ Well I’ve been a pris’ner all my life! Take me home! 'Cuz I don’t remember! Ditto Spooje: do you mean thump thump thump _Sir?_ thump thump thump _Sir?_ thump thump thump _Sir?_ Comments: I keep getting Neil Young mixed up with Neil Diamond. (The only one I’ve heard is Diamond, unless you can jog my memory.) Nea: Intaglio passacaglio, there’s nothing wrong with falsetto. What could POSSIBLY be wrong with Billy Joel and Chicago? _Elvira_ is good for when you’re in the mood to be dorky. Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t. Add-in vote: The Nylons. _So Long! I gotta GO…far_ I gotta go? There’s a bathroom on the right. ---
**Author:** ![TwungTister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TwungTister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwungTister)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/76 "2003-05-14T20:05:53Z")
\*What if GOD was one of us? Say he’s a faggott. Faa guuuut. But do you hate him? 'Cuz he’s pieces of you. You’re a little late. This is how I feel, cold and I am chained, lying naked on the floor. Well, excuse me! Guess I’ve mistaken you for somebody else, somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself. These foolish games are tearing me apart. You took your coat off and stood in the rain. You were always crazy like that.\* The last one would be rather nice if I could figure out what’s so bad about the scene. The first is too sappy. Not sure what she’s sayin. And Faggot! That one is SO sappy it encourages people to be prejudiced. “He is pieces”? That’s literate? “Pieces of you”? This guy’s my arm, that guy is my leg–. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/77 "2003-05-14T20:34:10Z")
I’d like to shove pieces of me right up Jewel’s ass. Namely my Birkenstock-clad foot. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/78 "2003-05-14T21:10:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwungTister \* > > * * * > > You’re a little late. This is how I feel, > cold and I am chained, lying naked on the floor. > \*\* I don’t even like this song, but in its defense, I think the lyric is “I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel, I’m cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor.” Bleeeegghh. ---
**Author:** ![maplekiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@maplekiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maplekiwi)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/79 "2003-05-14T21:11:46Z")
Hi everyone Rivers of Babylon by Bony M Mull of Kintyre & above all… Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Cyrus “Boom boom” I think its called by the Venga Boys & I agree "I am I said " is a truly terrible song. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934/80 "2003-05-14T21:28:45Z")
**koeeoaddi** , you take that back about [Little Green Apples](http://www.leoslyrics.com/listlyrics.php?id=1609). It is _not_ Bobby Goldsboro - at least the good version isn’t, and it _kills_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-songs-do-absolutely-hate/174934.md?page=5)