# What sort of bias/error is the notion of other people paying more attention to you than vice versa? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 1, 2012, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sort-of-bias-error-is-the-notion-of-other-people-paying-more-attention-to-you-than-vice-versa/611416 "2012-02-01T14:14:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sort-of-bias-error-is-the-notion-of-other-people-paying-more-attention-to-you-than-vice-versa/611416/1 "2012-02-01T14:14:40Z")
There is an excellent [list of cognitive biases](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cognitive_biases) at Wikipedia but I cannot really find one recognized bias coverying the (I believe) common following error: (oops clicked submit too soon - will continue in next post) ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sort-of-bias-error-is-the-notion-of-other-people-paying-more-attention-to-you-than-vice-versa/611416/2 "2012-02-01T14:30:19Z")
Bias in question: _the notion that other people pay more attention to you, on average, that you pay attention to them, on average_. For example: My SO, a veteran sauna patron, introduced me to saunas. She remarked that I seemed remarkably unbothered, for as sauna novice, to mingle with naked strangers of both sexes. My explanation was that I told myself that _it is to be assumed that the others take as much notice of me as I take notice of them, i.e. very little_. This looks to me like a very reasonable thing to assume, but it seems not to be shared by a lot of people. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sort-of-bias-error-is-the-notion-of-other-people-paying-more-attention-to-you-than-vice-versa/611416/3 "2012-02-01T19:26:18Z")
It sounds like [self-consciousness](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-consciousness), but the linked Wiki article doesn’t exactly describe it as a cognitive bias. There might be a better term out there. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sort-of-bias-error-is-the-notion-of-other-people-paying-more-attention-to-you-than-vice-versa/611416/4 "2012-02-01T19:28:43Z")
People who go to nude beaches tell me that’s the way it is. The clothed people get stared at, for everyone else nudity is the normal. If that’s what you’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![lisiate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@lisiate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisiate)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sort-of-bias-error-is-the-notion-of-other-people-paying-more-attention-to-you-than-vice-versa/611416/5 "2012-02-01T20:40:06Z")
I don’t know of a particular term for this. Another good example is not drinking at a party (for whatever reason) and fearing others might notice/try and get you to drink. The vast majority of people are too self-absorbed to take any notice of what’s in your glass I find. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sort-of-bias-error-is-the-notion-of-other-people-paying-more-attention-to-you-than-vice-versa/611416/6 "2012-02-01T21:10:58Z")
Are you referring to [the Spotlight Effect Error?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attribution_%28psychology%29#Spotlight_effect_error) ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-sort-of-bias-error-is-the-notion-of-other-people-paying-more-attention-to-you-than-vice-versa/611416/7 "2012-02-02T15:36:09Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Are you referring to [the Spotlight Effect Error?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attribution_%28psychology%29#Spotlight_effect_error) That’s exactly what I looked for, thanks.