# What species of Doper are YOU? (May offend.) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 10, 2001, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402 "2001-03-10T01:57:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/21 "2001-03-11T01:56:30Z")
Species 25: the “Expert” Synonym: Alleged authority, self-proclaimed diety of the field. Geography: Anywhere where their “field of expertise” (read: hobby) may crop up…which is potentially everywhere Habits: Excessive use of coding. Lame references to in-jokes. Self-references constantly. Mating call: You’re doing what? No, no, do it this way! And see my numerous threads on the topic! Sample thread: “The only way to \” Advantages: Occasionally brings useful knowledge. Disadvantages: Arrogance. Warning: When reading posts by “the Expert”, eyes are in danger of completely rolling out of one’s head. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/22 "2001-03-11T02:02:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dr\_Paprika \* > \*\* > Species 3: The Gay Avengers > > Synonym: Gay and proud, Gay and depressed, Gay and slightly too proud > Geography: omnipresent > Habits: Talking about orgies, discussing penis paraphenalia > Mating Call: Any song from “Priscilla: Queen of the Desert” > Sample thread: “Let’s have an orgy and discuss genitalia” > Advantages: Able to educate, interesting, generally good posters > Disadvantages: Monopolize chat, May be one-trick/turn tricks/Eat Trix > Warning: Your gay or lesbian friend may vary > \*\* Sheesh. You start **one** damn orgy thread and people just don’t let it go… \ ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/23 "2001-03-11T12:11:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\*Species 25: the “Expert” > Synonym: Alleged authority, self-proclaimed diety of the field. > Geography: Anywhere where their “field of expertise” (read: hobby) may crop up…which is potentially everywhere > Habits: Excessive use of coding. Lame references to in-jokes. Self-references constantly. > Mating call: You’re doing what? No, no, do it this way! And see my numerous threads on the topic! > Sample thread: “The only way to \” > Advantages: Occasionally brings useful knowledge. > Disadvantages: Arrogance. > Warning: When reading posts by “the Expert”, eyes are in danger of completely rolling out of one’s head. \*\* Aha, I’ve found my niche. ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/24 "2001-03-11T12:28:00Z")
I am a #23 and #24 (I never preview my posts and this thread reminds me of something… ) You didnt do the Foreign Poster or Teenage Poster yet. I am both. As for advantage and disadvantages. I am just the best. And my bad grammar just makes you guys feel better about your typos, doesnt it? It does. Definitely. Without me you d all feel sooooooo bad… Species **Foreign Poster** Synonym: BornDodgy, anything Engrish Geography: Not specified Mating call: I dont know the proper English for this, sorry Habits: telling about moving to an English speaking coutnry, asking people to translate their resume and application letter… Sample thread: Please - I need your help! Advantage: Who needs sleeping pills if they got a foreigner? Disadvantage: Will whine about living in other country than boyfriend does. Will complain about boyfriend using a word she doesnt know and damnit! The dictionary doesnt have it either!!! dodgy ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/25 "2001-03-11T12:40:03Z")
Species: **What have you done for me lately?** Synonym: WWF4eva / KornRulez! / WarezKing1678 Geography: GQ, ATMB Habits: Asking stupid questions in the wrong place, complaining because nobody answer within ten minutes, complaining when their thread disappears off the first page. Mating call: Hey, can u guyz email me the answer cuz some1 keepz deleting my stuff? Sample threads: “Do English people have cars?” / “Can someone explain slavery in less than 300 words?” / “How do I find hacking tools?” / “ANSWER MI QUESTION!!!” Advantages: Uh, I’ll get back to you on that. Disadvantages: Whinily ballistic if they feel patronised or if their questions aren’t answered within a few seconds. Disclaimer: I’m not thinking of anyone here in this group. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/26 "2001-03-11T18:53:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dr\_Paprika \* > \*\*Species 11: Wild Women Out of Control > > Synonym: Silver Fire[…] > Disadvantages: Unreliable;[…] \*\* Unreliable? _ **UNRELIABLE???** _ “May offend”? You got that right. ☹ (Thanks for saying I’m more fun than a barrel of monkeys though. 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/27 "2001-03-11T22:29:52Z")
Species: Hit and Run Geography: Any, but IMHO and MPSIMS are the most frequent. Habits: Posting an answer, and never checking back for replies. Posting repeats of their answer because they forgot they posted it (this is due to the fact that they post quickly). Mating call: Oops. I forgot I already said that. Advantages: They’re fast little buggers. Disadvantages: Tend to forget they posted at all. Seems like you’re in a bad re-run. I’m like this sometimes, unfortunaley. I’m like this sometimes, unfortunaley. Ooops. I forgot I already said that. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/28 "2001-03-12T00:54:36Z")
Hey **Doc**! Get your heinie over to the [Drop In Clinic](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=63055) right away. They’re already lining up for your words of wisdom. ---
**Author:** ![keeper0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@keeper0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keeper0)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/29 "2001-03-12T01:37:27Z")
I am a former **Lurker** who wants to be a **Genius** , but keeps being outsmarted by the real **Geniuses** and has to settle for being a **Flipper**. But I am definitely not **Sexually Repressed**. The fact that I haven’t had sex in a long time is a matter of choice. Okay, it was usually her choice, but there was definitely choice involved. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/30 "2001-03-12T06:00:12Z")
I appear to be primarily a mix of 7 (Skeptical Enquirer) and 12 (Schizoid). I avoid GD and the Pit like the plague, though, preferring GQ, MPSIMS, and IMHO (where one doesn’t get called on one’s blather quite so often). There are unquestionably hints of other breeds present though…I think I’ll wait and see if anyone else cares to point them out in the [other thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=62981) And my didgeridoo is _acoustic_, &@^^!\* (Better easily baited than sexually repressed, I suppose…) ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/31 "2001-03-12T07:56:32Z")
**Species:** The Pervert **Pseudonym:** Haywood Jablomie, Phil McCrevice **Geography:** SDMB search engine (“Let’s see…find all threads containing ‘orgy’ and ‘Pantyhose.’”) **Habits:** Misspelling words (due to one-handed typing), posting _very_ late at night **Mating Call:** “Hey, FundieDoper, I’ve got some really interesting links to share with you…” **Sample Thread:** Pros and Cons of Clown Felching, Famous People Whose \*\*\*\*\*\*\* You’d Eat **Advantages:** Quickly banned, knows some…er…_interesting_ websites **Disadvantages:** Absolutely disgusting **Disclaimer:** I’ve never seen such a Doper. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/32 "2001-03-12T13:18:05Z")
Speaking of **Foreign Posters** : Species: **Foreign Poster 2** Synonym: Ex-pat, Continental, Over There Geography: MPSIMS and anywhere outside North America Mating call: The next time you’re in the neighborhood… Habits: Reminding people how much cooler it is to live outside the US; trying desperately to make people believe it Sample thread: Let’s have a Paris Dopefest! Advantage: Can give useful travel tips. Different time zone location means they post outside peak use hours. Disadvantage: Will drop geographical references as often as possible. Likely to be considered **smug** by **Dr\_Paprika**. May put you off visiting wherever they happen to live. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/33 "2001-03-12T14:13:13Z")
The Flipper > [@](#): > > Mating Call: “Can’t we all just get along?” and Sweetness and Light > [@](#): > > Geography: MPSIMS > Habit: Giving hugs, giving support, giving unrealistic advice > Mating call: I just want to cuddle > Sample thread: “I’m so depressed I’d eat at Arby’s” > Advantages: compassionate, genuine, use of smilies > Disadvantages: may induce hyperglycemia But I absolutely hate most daytime television, and I can occasionally be found at GD, GQ, IMHO, and the BBQ Pit. This is a really cool thread, and highly imaginative. I don’t think anyone has done this before. Good going, **Dr. Paprika**! :: obligatory smilie character, in keeping with profile type :: ----:)/ ----///\\ ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/34 "2001-03-12T14:58:43Z")
**Species:** Lovelorn Poet **Synonym:** Squishy, Wanna-be, Pathetic **Geography:** MPSIMS **Mating call:** “The beauty of your post astounds me.” **Habits:** Lyrical prose, wordiness, annoyingly tender pleas that “we all just get along”. **Sample thread:** “SDMB reminds me of an onion…” **Advantage:** Is not afraid to cry. **Disadvantage:** Will do so continually. **Bonus:** Will actually respect you in the morning. **Warning:** Will insist on reading you a poem about it. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/35 "2001-03-12T15:32:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > Species: **Foreign Poster 2** Thank you, **jr8** , I was just about to post that. Now I know where I belong. Or as they say here in Japan… –sublight. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/36 "2001-03-12T15:42:20Z")
[David Attenborough] Disclaimer: Wild Women Out of Control are unreliable since they have a tendency to drive off cliffs. Well Silver Fire is clearly a member of this species, driving off cliffs is only one sign and is not displayed in all (or even a majority) of members. [/David Attenborough] ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/37 "2001-03-12T19:39:23Z")
I’m a Newbie. I really don’t see how people who’ve been members for a year have thousands of posts. I’ll be surprised if I break 100 posts by the end of this year. I aspire to be a Class Clown, though. We’ll see. ---
**Author:** ![Fletch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/919ad9/32.png) [@Fletch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fletch)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2001, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/38 "2001-03-13T00:22:56Z")
I read this thread this morning and thought Dr. Paprika would be taken to the pit. I was sure someone would see themselves in one or more species and would take offense. It is now afternoon and there aren’t any pit threads roasting the good Doctor. A very good thread Dr. Paprika, I think it makes each of us take a look at ourselves and identify what species we fit into. ---
**Author:** ![HalberMensch242](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@HalberMensch242](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HalberMensch242)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2001, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/39 "2001-03-13T01:26:33Z")
Jeez…can’t belive you missed my species…i guess i’ll do the werk for you. **The Loveable Prick** Synonym:Wet Crab, Flacid Mongoloid, Eusocialistic Scrawny Boy Geography:All Forums…especially IMHO Habits:Rambling, renouncing his/her ethnicity, lookin for threads about topics that he/she can answer with utmost certainty, showing of his/her knowledge in elite areas of music, film, and literature. Mating Call:" Hey honey, check these PANTS out!!!" Sample threads:“Monkey Seeking Fudge Robots” Advantages:Can be Entertaining, may offer some valid info, damn sexy. Disadvantages:Can be annoying, often times ramblings make no sense, may hit on you. Disclaimer: They’re a good breed…but they’re sterile. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402/40 "2001-03-13T06:06:11Z")
HalberMensch, I know you see yourself as a unique part of the phylum, but I warn you this tends to be shared by Egotists, Performance Artists and the Schizoid. Hop over to the clinic for a complete assessment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-species-of-doper-are-you-may-offend/57402.md?page=3)