# What stupid things do people always say when you tell them what you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 23, 2008, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495 "2008-04-23T02:53:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/61 "2008-04-23T20:51:20Z")
[QUOTE=Speaker for the Dead] I have two “professions,” and I get a variety of odd responses. 1. I’m a History student. I always get the “oh, I hate History” comments. [/QUOTE] I’m a Math PhD student. “I always hated Math.” (Thanks. I hate your profession, too, asshole.) “I was never good at Math.” (Are you _proud_ of this?) “You must be very smart.” (No, I just study something you are unfamiliar with.) “You can do research in … _Math_?” (Um, yes.) I’m finishing my thesis this semester. “How many chapters do you have done?” (WTF? Chapters?) ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/62 "2008-04-23T20:55:29Z")
I’m a statistician. Are you serious? I must not look like one… ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/63 "2008-04-23T21:00:31Z")
[QUOTE=zagloba] That’s not magical! All meat changes color. Just look in my refrigerator … or on my kitchen counter, even! [/QUOTE] …or my ceiling! Stupid spatula. I work in the elections industry. My favorite: “So who’s going to win the next election?” _wink_ “ha ha ha” or not nearly as much anymore. “So you caused all those problems in Florida” Um, not my company’s equipment, but thanks for playing. ---
**Author:** ![Absolute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Absolute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absolute)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/64 "2008-04-23T21:09:36Z")
[QUOTE=Jamaika a jamaikaiaké] I’m a Math PhD student. “I always hated Math.” (Thanks. I hate your profession, too, asshole.) “I was never good at Math.” (Are you _proud_ of this?) “You must be very smart.” (No, I just study something you are unfamiliar with.) “You can do research in … _Math_?” (Um, yes.) I’m finishing my thesis this semester. “How many chapters do you have done?” (WTF? Chapters?) [/QUOTE] This reminds me of a great quote from my [multivariable calculus professor.](http://ifs.massey.ac.nz/mathnews/NZMS88/benney.gif) > [@](#): > > I have a problem when I travel on airplanes. People always want to talk to me - I don’t know why, I guess they figure I look like a nice old guy or something. And they always ask what I do, and if I say “I’m a mathematician” I’m in trouble, because then they say “Oh really? My nephew is a math genius - he’s 12 months old and can count to two!” And I try to be polite, but I really don’t care. So now I say I’m an engineer, and when they ask what kind, I say “construction”, and that shuts them up quick. > > –D.J. Benney ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/65 "2008-04-23T21:50:33Z")
[QUOTE=Solfy] Yes, magical color-changing meat. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Ooh, I know - you make something for pee sticks! We sure have a lot of high-falutin’ occupations here. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/66 "2008-04-23T21:56:32Z")
When I was studying Geology, I got a lot of: “You dig up dinosaurs?” That would be a poor use of class time that could be spent learning about the parts of Geology that don’t get into movies. “So you want to dig up dinosaurs?” I really like them, but there’s not much of career in it. “You want to work in a museum? That’s so boring.” See dinosaur comments. Please stop going to museums and annoying the people who do like them. Occasionally, I’d get: “So, you want to explore ruins like Indiana Jones?” Again, sounds like fun, but he was an Archeologist. Different root word and all. Once in a great while I got: “So, you want to live with, like, a tribe and wear a gourd on your wang?” That does not sound like quite as much fun. It also sounds like an Anthropologist. I think. Also, see root word thing. When we were away at field camp (final 2 month outdoor lecture/practical exam/50 person drunken camping trip through the US Southwest) we were constantly asked: “Found much gold/diamonds/oil/dinosaurs?” Yup. So much, in fact, that we stopped collecting them. We ran out of room in the invisible tractor-trailer. Now I totally understand why you can’t buy that stuff at Wal-Mart, there’s no way they can make money on things that any idiot can get for free just by walking around. And “So, you’re on a dig?” Considering that we have no shovels or dental picks, that we are not crowded into a shallow, gridded-off hole and that digging up pot shards and dead people would be a really dumb way to get your last six Geology credits; why yes, we must be on a dig. Now that I work for an energy company I hear a lot of: “So, you read the meters on houses?” No, that’s a power company. We find the natural gas and sell it to pipeline companies, who sell it to the utilities." Then I usually get Oredigger77’s questions, with the same answers. “You must get to fill up your car really cheap, then.” No, the stuff in cars is gasoline. And why would I get a discount at the Shell station? But the best ones are when I tell people I used to deliver pizza: "Did you make a lot of, you know, special deliveries? Wink wink, nudge nudge. _smoking gestures and sound effects_ Dude, I didn’t just deliver it, I grew it in the trunk of my car. Doesn’t everybody call complete strangers at a fast food franchise when they need some dope? “Did you make a lot of, you know, special deliveries? Wink wink, nudge nudge. _salacious leer_” All the time. You would not believe the number of smokin’ hot lonely housewives/sorority sisters/bored rich girls who place phony orders in the hope that a random sweaty, grease and cheese encrusted, cash-strapped college kid will step out of his shuddering, blue smoke spewing deathtrap with wheels and step into her naughtiest fantasies. There’s even a code. Extra cheese? No problem. Canadian bacon and pineaple? You wild thing, you. Extra pepperoni? Sorry, I don’t swing that way. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/67 "2008-04-23T22:22:22Z")
Either we’re all incredibly clever or we all talk to some really really stupid people. Probably the truth is somewhere in between the two. I used to tell people I was a policy advisor but after getting so many 😕 faces I switched to saying I work at the Department for Education and Skills/Children Schools and Families (Dept name changed last year). The number of people who ask me if my job involves working with children boggles my mind, not because it’s necessarily a huge jump of logic (especially now with the children schools and families name) but it suggests a fundamental and wide-spread lack of understanding in the population as to how central government functions and what it involves. The worst one was when I described my current position to someone in a fair amount of detail for her to then say at the end of it “So you’re like a social worker?” I think that says more about her than people in general though. The least fun I had was when someone asked me what I did and I was (at the time) working for the Minister for Schools as one of his private secretaries - she was a teacher. Never have I been made to feel so personally responsible for someone else’s problems in all my life. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/68 "2008-04-23T22:28:19Z")
“Parimutuel tote Wagering Hub Manager” “Oh, what do you do?” \ edit: I guess it’s stupid of people to ask what I do, because I might actually tell them. And then they would be a tiny little bit stupider afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/69 "2008-04-23T22:44:35Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] Either we’re all incredibly clever or we all talk to some really really stupid people. Probably the truth is somewhere in between the two. [/QUOTE] _L’esprit d’escalier_, my friend, [_l’esprit d’escalier_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier). ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/70 "2008-04-23T23:00:30Z")
_tout à fait_ ---
**Author:** ![put\_down\_the\_sabre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/da6949/32.png) [@put\_down\_the\_sabre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/put_down_the_sabre)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2008, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/71 "2008-04-24T00:04:48Z")
I’m in philosophy. People’s responses usually involve: (1) thinking I want to hear about their experiences in philosophy. (2) mistaking literature/psychology or whatever for philosophy. “Oh, I did a course on James Joyce’s view of Ireland and Freud. What do you think about that?” I think you should sod off. A friend of mine (very pretentiously) tells people he’s a mathematician. Partly because we ency ‘real’ academic disciplines, and partly because people shut up, he says. put down the sabre ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2008, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/72 "2008-04-24T00:15:22Z")
nevah mind /Emily Litella ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2008, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/73 "2008-04-24T01:10:52Z")
I index books. “Oh, wow…I thought that was all done by computer.” It’s okay, though, because I used to think the same thing myself. ---
**Author:** ![liberty3701](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@liberty3701](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liberty3701)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2008, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/74 "2008-04-24T02:11:31Z")
I’m a linguist. A sociophonetician to be exact, but I don’t use that term, usually. When I say linguist, I either get a blank stare or asked how many languages I speak (my response: either “I barely speak English!” or “All of them”) or “I better watch my grammar!” (no, you twit, if everyone spoke standard English, I’d be out of a job). No one has yet to make a “cunning linguist” joke to me yet, but I hope someone does so I can answer, leeringly, “I minor in fellatio.” Or they think I’m a speech therapist. Sometimes I say I study dialects of English. Again, the blank stare, or, my favorite, “Guess where I’m from!” I mean, I wish I was good enough to do that, but I don’t have an encyclopedic knowledge of every dialect of English. Yet. Occasionally, I tell someone in linguistics that I do socio, and they tell me I’m not a real linguist. _Sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2008, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/75 "2008-04-24T02:18:44Z")
I’m a Public Defender. Invariably, when people find that out, they say something along the lines of “Wow, how can you defend people who you know are guilty?” Apparently, constitutional protections are only for the Good Guys. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2008, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/76 "2008-04-24T02:20:25Z")
[QUOTE=liberty3701] I’m a linguist. A sociophonetician to be exact, but I don’t use that term, usually. When I say linguist, I either get a blank stare or asked how many languages I speak (my response: either “I barely speak English!” or “All of them”) or “I better watch my grammar!” (no, you twit, if everyone spoke standard English, I’d be out of a job). No one has yet to make a “cunning linguist” joke to me yet, but I hope someone does so I can answer, leeringly, “I minor in fellatio.” Or they think I’m a speech therapist. Sometimes I say I study dialects of English. Again, the blank stare, or, my favorite, “Guess where I’m from!” I mean, I wish I was good enough to do that, but I don’t have an encyclopedic knowledge of every dialect of English. Yet. Occasionally, I tell someone in linguistics that I do socio, and they tell me I’m not a real linguist. _Sigh_ [/QUOTE] One of my best friends is a linguist. He gets the “cunning linguist” thing _all the time_. He’s gay, and the joke is still not funny. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2008, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/77 "2008-04-24T02:20:38Z")
As an actuary, the usual response is simply “what’s that?” ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2008, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/78 "2008-04-24T02:41:53Z")
[QUOTE=MissTake] **fisha** , what do you do? TheKid is super interested in weather, especially tornadoes. [/QUOTE] I’m a building contractor, and a roof inspector. I typically work with homeowners and insurance companies after storms, natural disasters, or fires. In my quirky moments, I call myself a ‘stormchaser.’ But even if call myself a contractor, there is still mass confusion because I am female. Oh, so you work for a contractor? Oh, you are the office help? You get up on roofs? A lot of times I just avoid the conversation. Here’s a great site for your kid. Has tons of different information about weather all over the US. Should take him years to process all of it. > **[NOAA/NWS Storm Prediction Center](https://www.spc.noaa.gov/)** ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2008, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/79 "2008-04-24T02:46:31Z")
[QUOTE=Cunctator] As an actuary, the usual response is simply “what’s that?” [/QUOTE] You never get “so tell me how long do I have to live, ha ha ha?” ---
**Author:** ![PaulParkhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PaulParkhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulParkhead)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2008, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495/80 "2008-04-24T02:59:34Z")
[QUOTE=InvisibleWombat] See, that one doesn’t strike me as a stupid question. I’ve been of legal drinking age for close to 30 years, and I’ve been in a lot of bars. When I was young and single, I’d go out to bars four or more times a week. I’ve visited a lot of bars in my time. And in all of those visits I’ve never seen anybody thrown out of a bar. My group was asked to leave once (we were harassing a bartender for not having closed captioning turned on and he got pissed at us), and I’ve been present one other time I can recall where someone was asked politely to leave. Based on my personal experience, I would guess a bartender throwing someone out of a bar is probably as common as a cop shooting at someone. Perhaps I don’t drink in the kind of bar you tended. [/QUOTE] Well, it’s not like I had to toss people out every night or anything, but it was common enough that I wouldn’t find it remarkable. I’m not sure a cop could say the same about shooting at someone. Of course, asking problem customers to leave would be the first step, and most do so relatively peacefully. But not always, and the worst offenders were guys who got cut off, as if yelling in my face and threatening violence would get me to serve them more booze. The bars were both in Scotland (Glasgow specifically). One was in a not-great part of town, the other downtown. Neither would be considered to be a particularly rough pub by locals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-stupid-things-do-people-always-say-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do/446495.md?page=5)