# What superheroes COULDN'T defeat a...Polar Bear? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 2, 2006, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908 "2006-04-02T03:23:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/41 "2006-04-02T21:13:02Z")
Looking at the more higher-class supers, I think Magneto’d have a tough time. Not sure if he counts as a hero, though. Mystique likewise. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/42 "2006-04-02T21:22:10Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] Looking at the more higher-class supers, I think Magneto’d have a tough time. Not sure if he counts as a hero, though. [/QUOTE] How so? He could do the whole “Iron in the blood” grippy bit and fling it. All else fails he could use his powers from a distance to wail on the bear with his helmet. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/43 "2006-04-02T21:22:16Z")
As written, anyone could defeat a polar bear: with a submachine gun. They aren’t from a strange place or foreign planet, and it would be trivially easy to lug them around so as to make them “equipment they normally carry with them”. Granted, superheroes might be so daft as to not carry a readily-available piece of equipment with them to combat the most dangerous large land animal in existence, but most people wouldn’t. Now, if it’s so cold that the gun freezes (dunno if that happens or not,) all bets are off. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/44 "2006-04-02T21:57:27Z")
Nitpick: automatic weapons are not the best firearms for hunting. If facing something big and dangerous, you want massive stopping power. 12-gauge shotgun loaded with slugs is usually good, or maybe a huge handgun like the S&W .500 ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/45 "2006-04-02T22:12:52Z")
Not a big comic reader, so apologies if this is stupid, but can Professor Xavier influence the minds of non-human animals? If not, I’d say he’s pretty much a goner. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/46 "2006-04-02T22:14:36Z")
[QUOTE=Harborwolf] How so? He could do the whole “Iron in the blood” grippy bit and fling it. All else fails he could use his powers from a distance to wail on the bear with his helmet. [/QUOTE] Ah, forgot about the iron-in-the-blood thing. I don’t think his helmet’s made of metal, though. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/47 "2006-04-02T22:21:04Z")
I guess Nighthawk and Hellcat would be finger food. Ted Kord and Arrowette, too. Gee, I always thought of Major Ursus as the most powerful Soviet Super Soildier, but considering this thread, I guess he’s just sort of baseline. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/48 "2006-04-02T22:28:47Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] Ah, forgot about the iron-in-the-blood thing. I don’t think his helmet’s made of metal, though. [/QUOTE] Or just create magenetic fields out of the air and suffocate the bear. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/49 "2006-04-02T22:57:29Z")
[QUOTE=dbuzman] The Flash could just vibrate himself through the bear which would then blow up since this Flash can’t go through objects/people without destroying them like the others. Or, he cold take some snow, make a snowball, use friction to melt it some so it’s more ice than snow, then wing it at the bear at a couple hundred miles an hour. [/QUOTE] Yeah, Barry Allen could have just waved a hand or both, walloping the critter with a blast of super-fast air. Or just pummel it all over a coupla’ billion times a second, until done. It worked on (Super) Gorilla Grodd, IIRC. He couldn’t even concentate to use his mental powers, IIRC. Of course, polar bears are a LOT tougher, than gorillas. Ordinary gorillas, that is. Grodd was nbo ordinary gorilla. I think the gorilla mystique was reinforced by King Kong. * * * Anybody remember _The Creeper_? I seem to recall that he just had a few gimmicks, plus a verrrry annoying laugh. It even was getting on his own nerves at first. One bear and no more annoying Sixties offbeat superhero! * * * True Blue Jack ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/50 "2006-04-02T23:06:30Z")
[QUOTE=True Blue Jack] Anybody remember _The Creeper_? I seem to recall that he just had a few gimmicks, plus a verrrry annoying laugh. It even was getting on his own nerves at first. One bear and no more annoying Sixties offbeat superhero! * * * True Blue Jack [/QUOTE] I may have to take it back. “Enhanced strength” is listed, although the level is not indicated. And I don’t recall what they had him doing with it. Take a look [HERE!](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creeper) * * * TBJ ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/51 "2006-04-02T23:54:38Z")
I have checked the '86 book, in case the republished version changed. It does say normal human strength. How odd. I checked his first appearance. Check. I could have sworn Daredevil had increased strength. My bad. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/52 "2006-04-03T01:05:17Z")
[QUOTE=Love Rhombus] Also Wasp. [/QUOTE] A zap to each eye, then she just flies off and lets it starve. Easy win. [QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] I don’t think his helmet’s made of metal, though. [/QUOTE] Whether or not it is, his costume is chain mail; he can just yank off a glove and pound the bear’s skull in with it. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/53 "2006-04-03T01:08:14Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] A zap to each eye, then she just flies off and lets it starve. Easy win. Whether or not it is, his costume is chain mail; he can just yank off a glove and pound the bear’s skull in with it. [/QUOTE] Much easier said than done. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/54 "2006-04-03T02:07:35Z")
If we’re letting villains get in on the act, I nominate Walrus Man, who introduces himself to Spiderman as having “The proportional speed and strength of a walrus!”\* In other words, polar bear chow. \*I only know of him from the Superdickery site in their “Stupor Powers” section, so he may have other powers as well. But since walruses are bigger than humans, doesn’t that mean he’s slower and weaker than the real thing? And aren’t walruses kinda slow already? ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/55 "2006-04-03T02:08:14Z")
[QUOTE=True Blue Jack] Anybody remember _The Creeper_? I seem to recall that he just had a few gimmicks, plus a verrrry annoying laugh. It even was getting on his own nerves at first. One bear and no more annoying Sixties offbeat superhero! [/QUOTE] Nah, Creeper had a healing factor that would make Wolverine jealous. Plus, he’s freaking crazy. We’re talking Joker-level crazy, only friendlier. He’d stab the bear to death with his own shattered rib. Or let himself be eaten then burst out of the bear’s gut. Freaking crazy. I like the criteria that you have no business calling yourself a superhero until you can take out a polar bear single-handed. Special dispensation to the folks that have a specific weakness against cold. Or semi-aquatic large mammals. They get to fight a tiger, or something. The martial artists would have a tough time at it, but with a sufficiently cinematic treatment of fighting, they’d be able to pull it off. ---
**Author:** ![AmbushBug](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ambushbug/32/4600_2.png) [@AmbushBug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmbushBug)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/56 "2006-04-03T07:09:10Z")
[QUOTE=astro] Ambush bug [/QUOTE] Agreed; I’m bear chow 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/57 "2006-04-03T12:58:49Z")
The Legion of Super-Heroes Polar Boy. What’s he gonna do, freeze the bear to death? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/58 "2006-04-03T13:52:05Z")
[QUOTE=Lumpy] Nitpick: automatic weapons are not the best firearms for hunting. If facing something big and dangerous, you want massive stopping power. 12-gauge shotgun loaded with slugs is usually good, or maybe a huge handgun like the S&W .500 [/QUOTE] I mentioned a submachine gun because I wasn’t sure if even the biggest of small arms could stop a polar bear in one shot. I thought it might be better to spray n pray: one might hit the head. Of course, to be sure, I’d like to have several guns of different types if I knew I was facing a polar bear, but I doubt that counts as “normal equipment”. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/59 "2006-04-03T13:59:02Z")
I would add that running/flying away does not qualify as a “win”. So that rules out folks like the Falcon, unless he makes a spear from something and dive bombs the polar bear. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908/60 "2006-04-03T15:07:02Z")
[QUOTE=True Blue Jack] Take a look [HERE!](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creeper) * * * TBJ [/QUOTE] > **[Creeper (DC Comics)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creeper_%28comics%29)** > > The Creeper (Jack Ryder) is a superhero created by Steve Ditko and Don Segall for American comic books published by DC Comics. He is portrayed as a journalist and talk show host, usually living in Gotham City, who gains the ability to transform into the superhuman the Creeper (and vice versa) thanks to experimental science developed by Dr. Yatz. First appearing in Showcase #73 (March 1968), his origin was revised in Secret Origins (vol. 2) #18 in 1987, then partially revised again in The Creepe... That link actuually takes you to the disamibuation page for “creeper”… However, item #4 will take you to… [THIS HERE!](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creeper_%28comics%29) * * * TBJ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-superheroes-couldnt-defeat-a-polar-bear/350908.md?page=4)