# What the execs at Quizno's should have said to their advertising agency. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 6, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702 "2003-11-06T15:31:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/21 "2003-11-06T19:50:04Z")
Quizno’s is alright, but every time I go there I think of that episode of "Cheers"in which Gary’s Olde Town Tavern starts offering complementary appetizers during happy hour, so Sam tries to match them by getting a toaster oven and melting little bits of American cheese onto Saltines. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/22 "2003-11-06T20:21:07Z")
> [@](#): > > it just doesn’t fit the mental image I’ve had of you. **Wring** , despite my gruff demeanour, I’m actually a sweet and cuddly guy who you’d quite like once you met me. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/23 "2003-11-06T20:28:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\ ***Wring** , despite my gruff demeanour, I’m actually a sweet and cuddly guy who you’d quite like once you met me. \*\* got no problem believing **that** , but the _giggling_ ::shudder:: no one, and I mean **no one** over the age of 8 should giggle. ::shudder:: (insert smiley of your choice in this space ) ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/24 "2003-11-06T20:30:10Z")
> [@](#): > > I have heard this for as long as I can remember. Every marketing student I know says something similar. But isn’t the point of spending all that money on advertising to make people WANT to BUY from them? Hey, I remember them - I remember that they’re the ones I don’t want to patronize. Precisely. Quizno’s has pretty much lost my business. I remember the Old Navy ads too, but they’ve only assured that I will never spend a dime in an Old Navy store. ---
**Author:** ![kp\_72110](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kp\_72110](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kp_72110)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/25 "2003-11-06T20:55:50Z")
I live on sandwhiches. Toasted is good. I’m with Jaunita on this. Wolf tit is good. \ ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/26 "2003-11-06T21:33:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > Quizno’s sandwichers are delicious … I think they prefer to be called “sandwich artists” or “ambrosia technicians.” Regardless, I didn’t know we were allowed to taste them, too. Quite frankly, though, the ones I’ve seen around here I wouldn’t want to touch with my tongue. ---
**Author:** ![Daikona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@Daikona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daikona)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/27 "2003-11-06T21:35:28Z")
See, I wouldn’t eat there even before the ads. Maybe it’s just me, but I _hate_ toasted subs. Maybe for things that are supposed to be hot… Meatball or something. But good lord. I forget where it was, but I got dragged somewhere and they bring me out my nice little turkey sandwich half warm and dripping all over. Ugh. If I did like the stuff, I’d still have been put off by the ads. But more because of the nasty attitude of the other guy than the raised by wolves thing. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/28 "2003-11-06T22:06:30Z")
count me for another that didn’t like Quizno’s before the ad. I went into ours (it was fairly new) Asked for ham and cheese on white…looked at me like I was crazy. Asked me what I wanted on it. Told them to keep it fairly plain…long silence more strange looks. Finally after LIBERALLY pouring seasoning over it and running it through their toaster I asked for mayo. Was handed two packets of mayo which they generously told me to put it on myself (they weren’t giving me attitude they were just too lazy to want to bother with it). The sandwich was pretty crappy and more expensive then our subway. I’ve never been back. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/29 "2003-11-06T22:15:07Z")
My gf’s daughter does the BEST impersonation of that guy! Her little “Hmmm!” bit at the end is hilarious 🙂 So for that I like it. As for the teat thing, I didn’t hear any of you guys complaining when Tori Amos had her bare boobies with the piglet on …ohh crap I cant remember the name of the album! ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/30 "2003-11-06T22:50:29Z")
Help a TV-impaired guy here - what happens in this commercial? ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/31 "2003-11-06T23:01:15Z")
Two guys on a park bench. One is eating the ‘other’ brand of sub. The guy eating the quizno’s turns to him and says “what were you raised by wolves?” Flashback: the other guy is sucking at a wolfs teat with other puppies Flashforward: Why yes…yes I was hmmm _keeps eating_ (or something to that effect) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/32 "2003-11-07T00:32:24Z")
You think the first run is creepy? The wolf ads out in my neck of the wape have been peculiarly truncated; instead of the “yes, I was,” the dialog is cut and the fellow appears to pucker and make a kissing sound. The last time I was treated to this, I had to switch over to _Fear Factor_ just to smother the image. Luckily, at the time, a buxom redhead was halfway finished sucking a pound of crotiles through a drinking straw, timed event. Problem solved. I still eat there, though. The tuna is really fuckin’ good. **Ogre** : my family is Romularian. Besides, you think Senio and Ascanio have something to say about Quizno’s? ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/33 "2003-11-07T01:44:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Darkhold \* > \*\*I went into ours (it was fairly new) Asked for ham and cheese on white…looked at me like I was crazy. Asked me what I wanted on it. Told them to keep it fairly plain…long silence more strange looks. Finally after LIBERALLY pouring seasoning over it and running it through their toaster I asked for mayo. Was handed two packets of mayo which they generously told me to put it on myself (they weren’t giving me attitude they were just too lazy to want to bother with it). The sandwich was pretty crappy and more expensive then our subway. I’ve never been back. \*\* A lot of places have trouble when you order something that’s not on the menu. Their PB&J is nothing to write home about either. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/34 "2003-11-07T02:12:44Z")
> [@](#): > > A lot of places have trouble when you order something that’s not on the menu. Their PB&J is nothing to write home about either. funny Ham and Cheese was on the menu. I don’t remember if white bread was or not. What’s your point? ---
**Author:** ![Shadez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Shadez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadez)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/35 "2003-11-07T02:37:33Z")
Another vote for hating that commerical. and a small hijack (my apologies to the OP): \ Has anyone seen the energy drink, red bull, commerical? The one where the bird goes to the bathroom on the guy, so he drinks some red bull, flies up and over the bird, than opens his pants-- and thats where the commerical ends. \ /Shadez ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/36 "2003-11-07T06:47:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\*I think they pulled it. I’ve seen the one where all the wolf cubs are licking him, but I agree…suckling at a wolf’s teat just made me swear off Quizno’s for ever. > > Also, I think Raised by Wolf Guy is the same guy who works for his dad but Didn’t Use Fed Ex. \*\* Was he really sucking? I saw the pups licking his face version. And he is the “didn’t use FedEx” guy. I like his little, nerdy voice in the Quizno’s commercial though. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/37 "2003-11-07T07:05:57Z")
It took me at least two years to even think about trying Quizno’s. I just found their commercials so ridiculously, and needlessly insulting. The ones that bugged me were the “which sandwich would you like, the toasted one, or the cold one” and then if the person went for the Quizno’s sub, the “other sub company” execs would dart them or something. ARRRGGGHHH… ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_of\_the\_Felines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b5e925/32.png) [@Queen\_of\_the\_Felines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_of_the_Felines)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/38 "2003-11-07T07:27:42Z")
As a Quizno’s store manager who graduated from Quizno’s University (don’t ask), I’d just like to sneak in here and state that I HATE those stupid ads. PB & J sandwiches…heh. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/39 "2003-11-07T07:32:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SnoopyFan \*\*\*We have Subway and Schlotzky’s (overpriced cardboard) around here. \*\* Don’t be dissing Schlotzky’s. Although I could see how the stores in WV might not be as good as the ones in Texas. Yeah, the wolf-tit commercial left my stupefied. **gobear** , you think that smarmy skinny raised-by-wovles jerk is cute? You must have meant the other actor. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702/40 "2003-11-07T07:36:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > \*\* > > That’s a big negatory on the idea for a commercial involving a creepy-looking bastard sucking wolf tit. > > \*\* I saw him and he reminded me of the guy on _The X Files_ who could fit himself into small duct spaces, sneak up on people, kill them and eat their livers or something… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-execs-at-quiznos-should-have-said-to-their-advertising-agency/211702.md?page=3)