“I regret that I have but one life to give for my, um, everybody, I guess, but especially those Americans.”
I can assure you that sparklers do make the babyjesus smile. And cherry bombs scare the crap out of him.
"OK, first some background: I live in the buckle of the bible belt; I am an athiest . . . "
—Well, you see, there’s your problem right there.
Even though it was a Christian event, maybe she was pointing out that we should remember the true meaning as in “we won our independence”, rather than “let’s go shopping.” You know, nothing says “Happy Fourth” like a big sale at the mall. :rolleyes:
Sparklers would be very dangerous in a straw-heavy manger. In later years, however, I think sparklers would have added a nice touch to various miracles:
Example:
Behold …Lazarus! (Cue lighting of many sparklers.)
A neighboring Christian business has a large painting of Christ healing the liberty bell. This had always struck me as especially curious. But now, in the light of this thread, I’m beginning to see things differently.
Perhaps Christ also helped dump tea in Boston Harbor or co-wrote for Patrick Henry?
Oh, sure. Who do you think provided all those loaves and fishes for Washington’s troops at Valley Forge?
I’m not surprised that the Fundies would try to turn Independence Day into a Christian event instead of being the day we celebrate defeating the aliens after they blew up LA, NYC, and DC.
Seriously, though, the idea of American exceptionalism goes
back all the way to William Bradford and his "city on a hill.
Screw all this. The real meaning of July 4th was lost when me ol’ graddad died in '91. It was his birthday, y’know. Now what am I gonna do Wednesday??
[sub]Happy birthday, Grampa. Wherever you are.[/sub]
Oh, come on, everyone knows that Jesus freed the slaves at the Battle of Pearl Harbor against the Germans, where America won its freedom from the Moors. That’s why Jesus was our first ambassador to France, and JFK and Columbus discovered Greenland.
Jeez, the American skool system must be in dire straights…
Since these people often claim Christ has been removed from the spirit of Christmas, maybe this is an attempt to slip him back in somewhere else. I can see it … exchanging Fourth of July presents under the tree (which ought to be active with leaves this time of year), smooching under the Fourth of July mistletoe (See those fireworks? Was it good for you too?). Hey, why not? Sounds good to me.
You guys got it all wrong. Jesus has everything to do with the 4th of July.
He appeared before King Edward and said, "Let my people go!!!" He then parted the Atlantic ocean and all the Americans walked across to America, but not before wandering around for forty days and forty nights. They arrived on the shores on July 3, 1776. They were so tired from walking across the ocean that they took the next day, July 4, off from work and it has been that way ever since.
[Paul Harvey]And now you know the rest of the story.[/Paul Harvey]
Amp, that was some funny, funny shit.
Spooje, yr right, the actual statement about “the real spirit of Independence Day” was more along the lines of religious freedom bla, bla, bla. Not too terribly out of line but sorta odd IMO. What seemed just flat out surreal to me was going from that statement to talking about princess Di so quickly.
Doing the laying on of hands, but with high-explosives, seems like a good way of getting closer to Jesus. Perhaps the religious aspects of the 4th of July should be emphasized ?
I have just located an informative online article that explains the true meaning of July 4.
Especially if some of those hot sparks landed on his head or in his eye.
Nah, thats’ just gas…
You see, since there were so many people praying on the battlefields during the Revolutionary War (“no atheists in foxholes” and all that), Jesus was most certainly involved. We won because Jesus willed it be so.
:rolleyes:
My husband is Catholic, and we occasionally end up in his hometown for certain national summertime holiday weekends. They do celebrate those holidays in church. Usually, the last hymn is something like “America, the Beautiful” (which I can even sing along to, since I learned that in my “godless” public school) or “God Bless America”. I once asked my husband, “Do they try to turn everything into a religious holiday?” He said, “You’ve got it.” It doesn’t matter whether Jesus had anything “to do” with Labor Day or not. I can only imagine that this tendency would be greater among the more fundamentalist sects of Christianity.
Strange how we always forget the “true meaning” of holidays with our celebrations. I’d like to declare an official “National Picnic and Party and Blowout Sale Weekend” where the “true meaning” would be to have fun partying and shopping. Of course, I’m sure that fundamentalists would get all peeved that people are forgetting the “true meaning” of NPAPABSW because they are forgetting to say grace before the picnic, or somesuch. Whatever. To them, Jesus is always obviously involved.
Stepping on sparklers makes the Baby Jesus cry.
Snap n’ Pops make the Baby Jesus smile.
Well, when interviewed after the war, George Washington said “First off, I have to thank Jesus for winning this one for us. He was with us there the whole time and we would have been lost without him!”
People, people, people.
It’s simple. No Jesus, no Christmas. No Christmas, no Christmas Eve. No Christmas Eve, no drunken Hessians at Trenton. No drunken Hessians at Trenton, no reason for George Washington to cross the Delaware. No crossing of the Delaware, and where would we be? We owe that Jesus guy, big time.
You know, come to think of it, Jesus coulda walked across the Delaware to kick some Hessian ass. And how cool would that have been?
And on another subject: sparklers? Feh! Everyone knows baby Jesus was a fiend for bottle rockets.