# What the fuck is that -- a Goach? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 9, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850 "2004-11-09T16:18:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/1 "2004-11-09T16:18:05Z")
This will probably be the pettiest rant you’ve read in a long time, so consider yourself warned. I’ve had it with all the fake Coach signature handbags that are just about everywhere. Instead of a [‘C’ pattern](http://www.coach.com/shop/product_nobefree.asp?product_no=6582&category_id=188&show_bc=1&easyask_id=), these stupid bags sport a ‘G’ pattern. What. The. Fuck? I mean, seriously. It’s bad enough you’re buying a knock-off _Coach,_ for fuck’s sake. Why must you buy one that’s so obviously _not_ a Coach? I thought that was the whole reason for buying knock-offs. You want to look like you can afford a Louis Vuitton but you can barely afford a Mossimo bag from Target so off to NYC to buy a knock-off, right? Ok, fine. Whatever gets you going in the morning. It’s not my style to buy knock-offs but, hey, more power to you. But the ubiquitous Goach bag is driving me fucking nuts. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/2 "2004-11-09T16:26:15Z")
Maybe it’s some weird combination of the Gucci and Coach logos. Are they really supposed to be Coach bags? Do you think maybe these people think they’re getting a Gucci knock-off instead? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/3 "2004-11-09T17:22:19Z")
I believe the bags you’re refering to are Guess. Further, I don’t think they’re actually supposed to be knockoffs - everyone should know that it’s a Guess bag, because then they’ll think the owner of the bag is a big ho, just like Paris Hilton. At least, I assume thats the point. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/4 "2004-11-09T17:29:33Z")
I brought my digital camera with me today. At the risk of getting punched in the eye, I’m going to attempt to go take a picture of one of these bags so you can see to what I’m referring. They’re definitely supposed to be Coach knock-offs, though. I went to Guess’ site and the Guess signature pattern isn’t what I’ve been seeing. The pattern is exactly like the Coach one except it’s a ‘G’ instead of a ‘C’. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/5 "2004-11-09T18:30:13Z")
Ugh, I’ll never understand people who buy things just so others will think they’re rich/hip/whatever. And I’ll never understand why those bags cost so much–they’re absolutely hideous. ---
**Author:** ![MercyStreet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a9adbd/32.png) [@MercyStreet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MercyStreet)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/6 "2004-11-09T18:34:29Z")
You know what gets me going? Women who leave the key fob/leather sample on their Coach bag. You know: The 3-inch-by-1-inch piece stamped “Coach.” OK, congratulations, you’re carrying an expensive bag. Now REMOVE that TAG! ---
**Author:** ![stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stately_plump_buck_mulligan)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/7 "2004-11-09T18:42:54Z")
'round here, fake Dooney and Vuitton bags are all the rage. Even when the logos are very close the the original, I can always tell by the cheap-ass materials and seams that they’re impostors. INsanely tacky. I do have some really, really fake Vuitton sunglasses that I sometimes wear, on a lark, for the irony value. And because they look pretty good on me. But at least I don’t pair them with a fake Juicy velour tracksuit, or a tiny skirt and “Emus” (Ugg ripoffs). ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/8 "2004-11-09T19:05:16Z")
Okay, I think I have it… this is about purses and/or handbags… or something (Who\_me?.. estrogen deprived…) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pencilpusher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d6d6ee/32.png) [@pencilpusher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pencilpusher)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/9 "2004-11-09T19:11:34Z")
I’m SO glad I’m not a girly girl that whines about purses. I carry an old denim backpack with frayed straps just to irritate chicks like you 😛 I’ve seen those purses and frankly I think they SUCK. They are FUGLY and overpriced. I’ll take function over style ANY day. What the hell do you carry in those damn things anyway? 😕 (For those that don’t know I am SERIOUSLY estrogen deficient. ☹ ) ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/10 "2004-11-09T19:23:02Z")
You should all pity me. I live in Montreal and I work at the heart of “downtown”, right near the club district. I see about a million of these things a day because of this. Montreal girls are notorious for being “trendy”, dressing like ho’s and spending three times what any given thing is worth on said thing. If there is a ridiculous “fashion”, knockoff or trend out there, I see it on a daily basis. I am soon moving to a new job in Suburban Hell, and I’m looking forward to seeing normal people in normal clothes, like Gap khakis. ---
**Author:** ![stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stately_plump_buck_mulligan)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/11 "2004-11-09T19:24:44Z")
> [@](#): > > What the hell do you carry in those damn things anyway? Oh, you know, what every lady carries in her bag. Chanel lipstick, Lauder foundation, an uzi for blowing away motherfuckers who step to me. (Kidding. I’d never wear Chanel lipstick, can we say ‘feathering’??) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/12 "2004-11-09T19:59:10Z")
You know, it seems like there’d be a real market out there if such blatently satirical knockoffs like _Chunnel #5_ perfume, \* Es de Frauder\* foundation, _Gauche_ handbags and _Ghast_ jeans suddenly became available. I think I’d be sportin’ a _Floozy_ machinegun for that “step” thing **spbm** mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stately_plump_buck_mulligan)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/13 "2004-11-09T20:09:51Z")
I’d definitely sport some “Thirteen For All Mankind” jeans. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/14 "2004-11-09T20:15:39Z")
I’ve been toying around with buying a pair of Citizens Oh, the Humanity jeans. Do think anyone will know if they’re knock-offs? ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/15 "2004-11-09T20:23:55Z")
I’ve always wanted to buy a cheap purse and write “Luis Vuitton” all over it with permanent marker. The whole designer purse thing is ridiculous and reflects badly on everyone. I’m all for knock-offs. They can only serve to make the people who spent five hundred dollars on a name get all defensive and turn up their nose a little bit higher- mostly because they know they’ve been taken. What bugs me is people that walk around with a Coach or Vuitton wallet (I see a lot of these as a clerk in an affluent town). What is that telling the world? That you wish you could be a high fashion slave but you can’t afford it? That you can look pretentious too for only $100 instead of $500? I guess I’ll be charitable and assume these were all given as gifts, but it seems unlikely. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/16 "2004-11-09T20:38:23Z")
> [@pencilpusher](#): > > (For those that don’t know I am SERIOUSLY estrogen deficient. ☹ ) You don’t need to be estrogen deficient to realize those bags are fugly…pug ugly…ugly ugly, even… I’m plenty girly, and I think they suck. The ONLY purpose of them is to show off how much you paid for your bag…your ugly, ugly purse…ugh… I like purses - I have funky ones in alligator (fake), bright colors, purses to go with every outfit. I don’t even pay a lot for most of them. I will never understand why people think these bags are cute…It’s the Burberry (sp?) plaid thing all over again…just because a rich/famous person wears it, doesn’t mean it looks good, even on them. ---
**Author:** ![stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stately_plump_buck_mulligan)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/17 "2004-11-09T20:40:07Z")
Opinions on handbags are like assholes. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/18 "2004-11-09T20:46:21Z")
You can get handbags with assholes? Who makes them… Elsa _Clench_? ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/19 "2004-11-09T21:20:29Z")
> [@MercyStreet](#): > > You know what gets me going? > > Women who leave the key fob/leather sample on their Coach bag. You know: The 3-inch-by-1-inch piece stamped “Coach.” OK, congratulations, you’re carrying an expensive bag. Now REMOVE that TAG! It’s just following the pattern. They’re ripping off Minnie Pearl. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850/20 "2004-11-09T21:25:25Z")
> [@even sven](#): > > I’ve always wanted to buy a cheap purse and write “Luis Vuitton” all over it with permanent marker. > > The whole designer purse thing is ridiculous and reflects badly on everyone. I’m all for knock-offs. They can only serve to make the people who spent five hundred dollars on a name get all defensive and turn up their nose a little bit higher- mostly because they know they’ve been taken. > > What bugs me is people that walk around with a Coach or Vuitton wallet (I see a lot of these as a clerk in an affluent town). What is that telling the world? That you wish you could be a high fashion slave but you can’t afford it? That you can look pretentious too for only $100 instead of $500? I guess I’ll be charitable and assume these were all given as gifts, but it seems unlikely. If you can find a Louis Vuitton hand bag for $500, you should probably snap that baby up. The canvas ones start at about $1,500. I don’t think I’ve seen a leather one around these parts for less than $5,000. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-fuck-is-that-a-goach/273850.md?page=2)