# What the heck is "There are no forests"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 6, 2016, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050 "2016-12-06T18:53:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/1 "2016-12-06T18:53:48Z")
I gather it’s some sort of young earth/flat earth woo, but I don’t feel like sitting through 90-minute YouTube videos to satisfy five minutes’ worth of curiosity. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/2 "2016-12-06T19:01:28Z")
[Reddit thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/theworldisflat/comments/4vzpdt/there_are_no_forests_on_flat_earth/). People actually watched the thing. First post > [@](#): > > tl;dr He’s saying that the trees we have now are minuscule compared to what used to exist, and that every Mesa on Earth is actually the stump of an enormous silicon-based tree. His primary argument is that mesas such as Devil’s Tower have hexagonal columns, and hexagons are common to life forms. He goes on to claim that all rocks are fragments of ancient silicon life forms. He also states that mountains are artificially created piles of silicon corpses. He states that 7500 years ago 100% of the Earth was biosphere, and everything we see today is rubble from a slaughter orchestrated by Mankind. He also says that every rock formation (including the Grand Canyon) is an ancient quarry. ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/3 "2016-12-06T22:01:28Z")
Hmmm. Premium grade stuff that guy’s smokin’. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/4 "2016-12-06T22:06:24Z")
So, um, let’s go down to the Grand Canyon and throw corpses in there. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/5 "2016-12-06T22:10:49Z")
Hmmm… part of me is now inspired to run this as the setting for a sci-fi or fantasy role playing game. Very cool idea. But pretending it has any correlation with reality? No. Just no. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/6 "2016-12-06T22:31:51Z")
Beats me. All I can see are trees. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/7 "2016-12-06T22:38:48Z")
First there was a forest Then there was no forest Then there was. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/8 "2016-12-06T23:08:01Z")
If there’s no forest, what do you call the world? ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/9 "2016-12-06T23:08:30Z")
If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/10 "2016-12-06T23:20:28Z")
> [@](#): > > As an actor, I’ve always wanted to do characters that would help me find my connection with others and connect all of us together. You always want the energy of the character, the spirit of the person, to enter you. I’ve been doing this for 26 years and some of the things I’ve done are always with me. - Rocky Whitaker ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/11 "2016-12-06T23:29:47Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > If there’s no forest, what do you call the world? New Tahiti, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/12 "2016-12-06T23:36:58Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > First there was a forest > Then there was no forest > Then there was. Wait a minute – was the forest on a mountain? ---
**Author:** ![excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e8c25b/32.png) [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/excavating_for_a_mind)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/13 "2016-12-06T23:51:42Z")
> [@Gary\_T](#): > > Wait a minute – was the forest on a mountain? No, no, no. The mountain \*was \*a forest. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/14 "2016-12-06T23:52:21Z")
First they came for the forests, and I did not speak out, because I am not a forest. Then they came for the mountains, and I did not speak out, because I am not a mountain. Then they came for me, and I asked them: where are you putting all this stuff? ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/15 "2016-12-06T23:52:30Z")
… but the Earth was created just 6,000 years ago … ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/16 "2016-12-07T00:29:31Z")
His error is thinking the silicon life is gone now. It’s still all around us. It’s directly underfoot. It just lives very, very slowly. Hang out 50 or 100 million years and you’ll see it reproduce. Shame he won’t live to see it. Either that or he’s been smokin’ some premium stuff as **DSYoungEsq** says. In many ways pseudo-rational crazy is better than timecube-style foaming crazy. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/17 "2016-12-07T02:40:31Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > His error is thinking the silicon life is gone now. It’s still all around us. It’s directly underfoot. It just lives very, very slowly. Hang out 50 or 100 million years and you’ll see it reproduce. **NO KILL I** 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/18 "2016-12-07T12:37:37Z")
Good one! Gives a new and barbarous overtone to the trite phrase “carved from the living rock.” Ouch. And with no anesthetic. No wonder they hate us. From their POV we’re eczema. ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/19 "2016-12-07T13:00:37Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Good one! > > Gives a new and barbarous overtone to the trite phrase “carved from the living rock.” Ouch. And with no anesthetic. No wonder they hate us. From their POV we’re eczema. I hope I’m not around when they get angry. You don’t want to see them when their angry. (Unless they’re _already_angry . . . and just really slow.) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ignotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecc23a/32.png) [@Ignotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignotus)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/20 "2016-12-07T15:27:52Z")
Well, [some](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krakatoa) can be pretty violent… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050.md?page=2)