# What the heck is "There are no forests"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 6, 2016, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050 "2016-12-06T18:53:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/21 "2016-12-07T18:40:37Z")
Run, Forest, run!!! ---
**Author:** ![TSBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@TSBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TSBG)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/22 "2016-12-07T22:17:22Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > First they came for the forests, and I did not speak out, because I am not a forest. > > Then they came for the mountains, and I did not speak out, because I am not a mountain. > > Then they came for me, and I asked them: where are you putting all this stuff? Very, very good. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/23 "2016-12-08T00:48:52Z")
In subductionzones, of course. Subduction zones can hide a multiiude of (human) sins. A couple cycles through the mantle and all our evil will be conclusively erased. _Silico vivo eterno_!! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/24 "2016-12-08T01:13:04Z")
But once you go through enough cycles of subduction of intelligently-created artifacts, the recycled magma starts to develop a psychic resonance, and you can end up with telepathically-active “eggs” emerging in volcanic active regions, which will doubtless form the basis for new multi-species religious beliefs. (thanks, David Brin!) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/25 "2016-12-08T01:51:23Z")
Only if diluted via mantle recycling by 1E9:1 per homeopathic methods. Then it becomes inescapably real. ---
**Author:** ![Qwakkeddup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/90ced4/32.png) [@Qwakkeddup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwakkeddup)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/26 "2016-12-08T02:23:26Z")
You should be careful. Next thing you know they will be quoting you. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/27 "2016-12-08T03:25:08Z")
OK, I tried watching the video, got ten minutes in before I couldn’t keep track of the multiple tracks of argument any more. I will say that the idea that mesas are the petrified stumps of hyper-sequoias is evocative, even if completely wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/28 "2024-02-29T04:18:28Z")
Just ran across this today. I’m still sure that mesas are not the petrified stumps of giant trees, and the photos below are almost certainly photographed from a misleading angle; but… _ **dayum** _! > **[File:Haasts Bluff, NT photographed in 2011. 01.JPG](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Haasts_Bluff,_NT_photographed_in_2011._01.JPG)** > **[File:Haasts Bluff, NT photographed in 2011. 02.JPG](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Haasts_Bluff,_NT_photographed_in_2011._02.JPG)** ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/29 "2024-02-29T08:48:11Z")
The link to the original video in this thread appears to be dead now, so I can’t tell if it is related to Mudfossil University or just somewhat aligned with that branch of nuttery. If unrelated, please enjoy [Mudfossil University](https://www.youtube.com/@mudfossiluniversity), where every landform is a dragon; every rock is a bone or petrified organ; every cave is a fossilised orifice, every statue was once alive, and where the Egyptian Sphinx was a real, actual giant quadruped that was shot in the head with a giant arrow, before it lay calmly and serenely down with a smile on its face, to be turned to stone. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/30 "2024-02-29T09:22:42Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > No wonder they hate us. From their POV we’re eczema. I would have said “scaibies” rather than eczema but yeah, that. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/31 "2024-02-29T17:49:32Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > The link to the original video in this thread appears to be dead now, A search on YouTube for giant stone trees will turn up multiple videos on the same topic. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/32 "2024-02-29T18:38:48Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > So, um, let’s go down to the Grand Canyon and throw corpses in there. You’re a bad man. You’re a very bad man. ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2024, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/33 "2024-03-02T04:45:39Z")
It’s all Paul Bunyon’s fault. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2024, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050/34 "2024-03-02T07:11:56Z")
To answer the OPs title: You just can’t see the Forests, for the Trees. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-heck-is-there-are-no-forests/774050.md?page=1)