# what the hell are you doing coldfire? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 3, 1999, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092 "1999-11-03T10:23:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/41 "1999-11-05T16:26:00Z")
Sue, I’m sorry. There’s no way you’re getting away with it THAT easily 😉 Missy2U: A beer ? Sure. But… why ? I don’t really see the relevance, but then again I suppose a beer’s always relevant. ## _sitting back in a very relaxed manner, knowing that UncleBeer CERTAINLY is gonna second that one…_ Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/42 "1999-11-05T16:51:00Z")
Did I hear someone say **beer**? * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/43 "1999-11-05T17:13:00Z")
- smiling happily, knowing the world makes some sense after all… \* * * * Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/44 "1999-11-05T17:22:00Z")
See? Beer makes everything better! ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/45 "1999-11-06T06:06:00Z")
OK Cold… ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 1999, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/46 "1999-11-05T20:42:00Z")
## C’mon C-eh-N-eh-D-eh-IanSue, cut it out and don’t make me come over and kick your sorry butt now 🙂 Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Rousseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Rousseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rousseau)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/47 "1999-11-06T01:09:00Z")
Sorry, I have been extra busy over the last two days and I had to pull myself away from the board. I know some of you may have enjoyed this, but anyway, I feel that I should be able to speak for myself here. This is not a “last word” thing, but there have been some things said to me or about me that I feel compelled to respond to. Let’s start at the bery beginning (it’s a very good place to start): > [@](#): > > And let’s face it, little semi-literate characterless person - you’re no replacement You forgot “self-opinionated.” If not understanding that word qualifies me as “semi-literate,” then I’ll just have to change my screen name to “bj0rn jr.” I think some of us need to be brought up to speed on our bj0rn-ology. Let me take you back to the good ol’ days of October (10/13). In response to a negative (quasi-flamish) response to a post of his own, bj0rn the Conquerer posteth: > [@](#): > > truth is, i like it when people respond to my postings like you are doing. Congrats, bj0rn, your troll ID card and bumper sticker are in the mail. The next day, bj0rn the Conquerer gets profane on andros (asterisks added by bj0rn): > [@](#): > > i was not f\*\*\*ing with you. and how the bloody well can you say you tried being polite? and what the hell do you mean logical? about sodding what are you being logical? Note the Viking slang (“how the bloody well…”, “about sodding what”) that somehow gets the point across while STILL impeding comprehension. He is skilled. Later in the same post, bj0rn the Conquerer qualifies the grammer mistakes that had become the focus of the thread: > [@](#): > > here in iceland we have laws that say you dont have to use proper grammar, just as long as you have a style of writing. This comes after bj0rn the Conquerer had been told _repeatedly_ that his grammer was in issue because it was preventing almost everybody (I make this statement on the basis of the fact that numerous people had compained, with not one person speaking on bj0rn’s behalf, aside from himself). If you wonder why people were banging their heads against the keyboard, it was because bj0rn’s comprehension problem apparently works both ways. Still in the same post (10/14 on the “Troll List” thread) comes my favorite bj0rn moment ever. I have to post the whole thing, because it’s _classic_: > [@](#): > > final point being: you are always right (in your opinion) until someone points out why you are wrong. and saying that: > > ## quote: > > Bad punctuation and grammar damage your ethos. > > * * * > > is not good enough. because i dont care what other people think of me in ways that can be blamed on my accusers. > > ## quote: > > ## Let me try simplifying this for you: would you take a piece of writing more seriously if it were typed or scribbled in crayon? If your answer was the one in crayon, then I give up. > > i look at what the person i trying to say, not how it is written. although something like this matters: > hengið hann, ekki bíða eftir mér (means; hang him, dont wait for me) isnt the same as hengið hann ekki, bíða eftir mér (means: dont hang him, wait for me) > there is also a story ive often told the kids, a very popular one. its wolf, wolf. > for those that dont know it, its about a boy that cries wolf, wolf. but is lying. and when the wolf finally comes and the boy cries wolf, wolf. nobody belives him. > > its all about things that matter, and ill bet you that the persons who have yelled at me for my grammar do not have a kid, or do not spend alot of time raising em. > (this is a harmless accusation, please notify me if im wrong.) > > bj0rn So many things to be peeved at here. I don’t even need to elaborate. Four days later (the 18th), bj0rn lays into Coldfire with this recommendation: > [@](#): > > group therapy, have you heard of it? well, you dont need that one. except with you as the only patient. Thanks, bj0rn, that was constructive. Yet another four days go by, and bj0rn tries to compare readers of his posts to blind people. He lays down the rules that blind people apparently follow while listening to other people speak. Here is the end: [QUOTEbut one thing you may not do, assume that what you translated into your type brainwaves is accually what the other person meant. so be careful at judgement day. my _ **static** _ …oy you.[/QUOTE] (sigh) A week later, bj0rn the Conquerer gets testy once again with CF, and falls flat on his face yet again. > [@](#): > > oh, you dont know what kind of tone im using? > does it matter? just read the words and understand it as you want to. the keyword there being YOU (or is the whole messageboard reading it with you?). > i dont expect you to understand that statement, since you have failed on easier ones. Another important aspect of this quote is the last line, which basically states that bj0rn, fully aware that people do not understand him, does not make any effort to correct the problem, even when he knows that his post will not be understood. Later he lambasts me: > [@](#): > > tell me, why are you yelling at me if you dont even understand what im saying? ARHGHAHRHGAGRGAGRAHARGARGARG!!! **I AM YELLING AT YOU _BECAUSE_ I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.** Taking all of bj0rn the Conquerer’s posts, of which I think these are a pretty good cross-section, into consideration, I think we can all tell that he is indeed Troll of the Century. Stop sticking up for him, he is definetly a negative influence on the board. Thank you for your time. * * * The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group. ---
**Author:** ![Rousseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Rousseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rousseau)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/48 "1999-11-06T01:38:00Z")
I hate UBB code. And I know that I made more than one grammatical mistake in there. Sorry, but I type rather quickly when I get excited. No need to point out my typos, just trust that they were _typos_ and not legit mistakes. The only thing that I need to correct is the fact that I forgot to finish a thought in the middle there. An addendum: “This comes after bj0rn the Conquerer had been told repeatedly that his grammer was in issue because it was preventing almost everybody (I make this statement on the basis of the fact that numerous people had compained, with not one person speaking on bj0rn’s behalf, aside from himself).” Please add: “…aside from himself) from comprehending him.” I know most of you knew what I meant, but, given the nature of my message and the ironically bj0rnish sound that the original sentence had, I felt that I needed to clarify before somebody jumped all over my shit. But we don’t have anyone around here that would do _that_, now do we? * * * The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group. ---
**Author:** ![bj0rn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@bj0rn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bj0rn)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/49 "1999-11-06T14:38:00Z")
Rousseau: if thats your understanding, im not very surprised you are confused. > [@](#): > > **I AM YELLING AT YOU BECAUSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.** thats the hilarious part, how can you quote my with any efficiancy if you dont understand what im saying? _sigh_…and what i meant about “group therapy” was YOU standing alone against everybody else on the thread. now, all em other quotes is bad quoting on your behalf. just one more thing: [http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000586.html](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000586.html) i think it will do you good, assuming of course you understand what im saying and assuming you understand what we are talking about in this thread. but i really want to hear your opinion on the matter. thank you for your time bj0rn ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/50 "1999-11-06T20:32:00Z")
Welcome back… I called you semi-literate partly because you didn’t understand “self-opinionated”, a bog-standard everyday word (of which by the way I have had to provide a definition plus a source in the other thread, as well as an explanation of “self-appointed”), partly because of your quite pathetic attempt to spell “Murgatroyd”, but mostly because of your general attitude to anything that isn’t already lined up four-square with your existing mental framework. In other words, two counts of semi-literacy in the narrow and literal sense, and one huge one in the transferred or metaphorical sense In other words again, I am calling you semi-literate both grammatically and existentially So now you have three ways to misunderstand * * * The bells of Hell go tingalingaling… ---
**Author:** ![Rousseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Rousseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rousseau)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/51 "1999-11-07T00:03:00Z")
bj0rn, you boggle my mind. > [@](#): > > thats the hilarious part, how can you quote my with any efficiancy if you dont understand what im saying? Don’t you comprehend that I’m quoting passages that I don’t understand for that exact reason? Durno: The third dictionary I checked had “self-opinionated.” It was defined as “vain or conceited.” I stand corrected, as well as very very insulted. I also admit that I was wrong about the spelling of “Murgatroyd.” I would not call my attempt (which was phonetic) “pathetic,” but whatever. I hardly call knowledge of these two words and the ability to understand bj0rn a standard for literacy. Maybe I’m not as well-spoken as you, Webster (but at least I’m creative with my insults). If I was given a literacy test that asked me to define “self-opinionated,” spell “Murgatroyd,” and interpret one of bj0rn’s posts, I would have failed with flying colors. If given it now, however, I would get a solid 67%. * * * The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/52 "1999-11-07T02:08:00Z")
R: Well hey, did no-one tell you, you’re _supposed_ to be insulted, this being the Pit’n’all… (and I didn’t notice you exercising any great restraint, Mr Creative Insulter - when was that exactly, by the way?) As for semi-literate, what am I, a school-board examiner? I didn’t aim to be accurate, chum, just offensive - I picked the thing I thought wd irritate you most - seems to have done the business. Some people wd put in “Boo-hoo-hoo” at this point - people can be so teddibly teddibly cruwil. But if it bothers you that much, fine, truce - life’s too short: **Formal Retraction:** You’re **not** semi-literate just because you didn’t know “self-opinionated”, cdn’t spell “Murgatroyd” or can’t stand bj0rn - I was EXAGGERATING, which you may notice is not peculiar to me in these surroundings - now d’you feel better? But literate, semi-literate or pre-literate, it has to be said, for my money you’re a wazzock among wazzocks… ---
**Author:** ![Rousseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Rousseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rousseau)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/53 "1999-11-07T02:44:00Z")
Durno, you have a command of the most bizzare insults I’ve ever encountered. As of now, I’m a “Self opinionated/self appointed, semi-literate wazzock.” ## And by the way, I wasn’t complaining. The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/54 "1999-11-07T11:00:00Z")
If the cap fits… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/55 "1999-11-07T14:46:00Z")
## Hey, you wankers, this is the “bj0rn tries to flame Coldfire and burns his sorry ass” thread !! Go now, and create your own Durno-Rousseau Flame-Away Thread if you want… Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![bj0rn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@bj0rn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bj0rn)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/56 "1999-11-08T00:15:00Z")
darn…and i was about to suggest that we would just rename this thread “what the hell are you doing rousseau”, since the deal with coldfire has been successfully solved. but i dont suppose you noticed that rousseau. you being semi-intelligent(intended, but not as an insult, as a statement to be misunderstood by you) and all. > [@](#): > > Don’t you comprehend that I’m quoting passages that I don’t understand for that exact reason? then how come “please explain” is nowhere to be found in your posts? and durnovarianus, i think your insults (although EXAGGERATED insults) are far better than rousseaus. one can just “sense” the sentances hidden agenda, but it still remains elusive enough to hide from literate thinking minds with NO creativity whatsoever. i resent you call insults creative in any way! if somehow the sentance could be interpeted in a non-insulting manner then it would be creative. although you did a fair job with that math project of yours. bj0rn - rousseau = iq(an attempt to make a short version of “i quit”) ---
**Author:** ![Rousseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Rousseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rousseau)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/57 "1999-11-08T03:13:00Z")
> [@](#): > > bj0rn - rousseau = iq Now **that** is an insult. * * * The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group. ---
**Author:** ![bj0rn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@bj0rn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bj0rn)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/58 "1999-11-08T12:41:00Z")
rousseau: you forgot to quote the bit in the “()”. oh, and thanks for the compliment 😉 bj0rn - creativity is like a flash-light, you are going to need new batteries sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/59 "1999-11-08T17:07:00Z")
Or in your case, a new light bulb. ## hee hee 😉 Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Rousseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Rousseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rousseau)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092/60 "1999-11-08T20:46:00Z")
Or maybe someone needs to show him where the “On” button is. * * * The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-are-you-doing-coldfire/3092.md?page=4)