# What The Hell is Going Wrong With 30 Something Females? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869 "2009-10-15T03:56:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/21 "2009-10-15T15:19:56Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > That seems like the prudent thing to do but I am a really a good male friend to lots of females. I really do like them and I just want to know them again. Maybe that is just an unusual male trait but it comes naturally to me. I’m sure you mean well, but if these women are having problems at home, you should probably stay the hell out of it. Maybe some of them are just being private. but it doesn’t sound that way based on your summary. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/22 "2009-10-15T15:49:52Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > That seems like the prudent thing to do but I am a really a good male friend to lots of females. I really do like them and I just want to know them again. Maybe that is just an unusual male trait but it comes naturally to me. I was raised by my mother so maybe that has something to do with it. I don’t really discriminate at all based on sex and my ex-wife and I never had had problem with doing things with opposite sex friends on our own and it never caused any problems. I am seeing that is a problem for lots of 30 something Southern girls now and I can’t wrap my mind about why that is. I admit that I have pissed off a few husbands in my time but I never laid a single hand on any of their wives and never would. They were just people that I liked and I just talked to them as I would like anyone else. > > I am just getting flooded by interesting commentary and I don’t know what it means. All that is very nice, but has little to do with the fact that if you don’t un-friend them, you’re asking for trouble/drama/unnecessary hassle. (And just FTR, I am 35 and _not_ in the habit of propositioning old school friends over facebook. I find that, with MOSs, sticking to the wall messages is best most of the time. Except things like when I had a brilliant idea for a present for my friend–an obscure poetry collection–and messaged her husband about it.) ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/23 "2009-10-15T15:56:57Z")
Microsoft Office Specialist? Manual of Style? Metal-Oxide-Silicon? Media Object Server? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/24 "2009-10-15T16:01:03Z")
I am a 33 YO woman and you would not catch me dead propositioning anyone on Facebook. What gives? We’re not all cut from the same cloth. But I will say, in my thirties I have (I think) gained a lot of maturity and grown up a lot, and perhaps this is the time to reflect on mistakes. Perhaps that is what these women are doing. ---
**Author:** ![Huerta88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Huerta88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Huerta88)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/25 "2009-10-15T16:01:44Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > Microsoft Office Specialist? Manual of Style? Metal-Oxide-Silicon? Media Object Server? Military Occupational Specialty. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/26 "2009-10-15T16:01:54Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > Microsoft Office Specialist? Manual of Style? Metal-Oxide-Silicon? Media Object Server? It’s a collective term for your Facebook/Myspace/Friendster/etc. social-networking sites. Don’t know that the letters MOS stand for individually, though. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/27 "2009-10-15T16:02:31Z")
Mean Opinion Scores? Mothers Of Sons? Men Of Steel? ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/28 "2009-10-15T16:09:00Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > **Shagnasty** , may I just say with all the good intentions in the world that I’ve never read a thing from you that suggests that you actually like women as people, aside from your assertions that it’s true. > > Generally, someone who actually likes women as people, you know, views them as unique individuals, would not come to the conclusion that an entire generation of them are unhappy and desperate and unable to resist your awesomeness. You’re generalizing a bit on people who like women as people. Oh what a paradox. Personally I love some women as people. The most supportive, understanding people in my life have all been women who were over 50 years old. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/29 "2009-10-15T16:13:44Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > There’s something about Facebook that makes some people feel the need to quasi-reconnect with people from their past, but in only the most superficial way. I’m not sending these people compliments, not even the most generic or innocent ones - I just accept their friend request and, most of the time, simply never hear from them again. We just populate each others’ friend list. Exactly. I’ve had friends from high school friend me and, other than the occasional very, very short comment on their wall and theirs on mine, I never hear from them and vice versa. Had I wanted to be in close contact with them throughout the years, I wouldn’t have to have been contacted on Facebook to keep in touch. They’re just people whose daily minutiae sometimes makes me chuckle and I hope the same is true for them (though I really draw the line at FB’ing about ridiculously uneventful things like, “ **overly** is doing her laundry. Ick.”). And I agree with **dangermom** - it’s great that you want to be friends, but unless you make it very clear that you’re not comfortable that they have to sneak around, you’re setting yourself up for a whole lot of drama. I’m surprised to hear that _all_ these women are behaving like this. Is it possible that you’re misinterpreting what some of them are saying/implying? For one thing, most people in their right mind would assume that something has to be wrong with their relationship if they’re compelled to be so secretive about their online life. For another, have you changed drastically from high school or something? Become the next Brad Pitt, perhaps, or so fabulously wealthy and powerful that you can’t help but attract poor helpless females without even trying? If not, it seems unlikely that every single woman you used to know would throw themselves at you. For what it’s worth, I’m a 30-something woman and would never consider reacting to someone from high school this way. Of course, the SDMB doesn’t exactly have the best sampling of all 30-something women. ---
**Author:** ![RedBloom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dbc845/32.png) [@RedBloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedBloom)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/30 "2009-10-15T16:36:09Z")
My opinion is that you are conversing with them in a way that they don’t intepret as “casual” or “innocent”. You are saying something or making remarks that are leaving a wide door open to them to start disclosing all of their middle-life-suburbia baggage. Beware, and maybe start keeping a lower profile if it makes you uncomfortable. You get OUT of Facebook what you put IN to it. It can get all kinds of creepy… my husband had a long online sexual relationship with a desperate bimbo over email. My sympathies are non-existent. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/31 "2009-10-15T16:41:27Z")
Women want to have sex with you so you assume something is wrong with them. Hmmm. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/32 "2009-10-15T17:04:57Z")
**Purplehorseshoe** has it right about Facebook. That’s kind of its milieu. Still, if there are hordes of horny, 30-somethings battering down your door, one of two things is likely true; 1) They’re suffering from SADD (spousal attention deficit disorder ™ or 2) They’re feeling their age and need to feel that emotional rush or connection again, even though nothing will likely come of it. This quote [QUOTE=Shagnasty] They have kids and houses and are upper-middle class but still seem very desperate. [/QUOTE] is likely more of an indication of desperation than anything else. I’m sure they feel trapped by debt, child obligations, careers etc and you’re a pleasant and relatively harmless distraction from all of that. I’m sure they follow the driving distance rule too. I would blow too much sunshine up your own skirt here, odds are fair there isn’t much more to it than the potential for some filthy texting and perhaps a few nekkid pics from the more daring members of your new vocal harem. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/33 "2009-10-15T17:06:10Z")
Which might themselves involve sunshine and skirts, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/34 "2009-10-15T17:19:25Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > They want your hot manmeat. Their fat, overweight, berr bellied, balding career-obsessed husbands don’t want to pork them anymore. > > Go in for the kill, but first, make them post a photo with today’s newspaper, make sure they aren’t tubbies in Soccer Mom jeans bullshitting you with photo from when they were 22. There might be a reason their husbands don’t want them. **St. Anger** is right – you need to be _romantic_. You know, really sweep these women off their feet. Maybe email them a close-up photograph of your scrotum? ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/35 "2009-10-15T17:33:51Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > \*\* > I would **NOT** blow too much sunshine up your own skirt here, odds are fair there isn’t much more to it than the potential for some filthy texting and perhaps a few nekkid pics from the more daring members of your new vocal harem. Missed the edit window and the mistake. Do NOT blow sunshine up your own skirt. Unless sunshine is a 30-something desperate housewife from Atlanta, then do as you must. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/36 "2009-10-15T17:39:25Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Women want to have sex with you so you assume something is wrong with them. > > Hmmm. Your misleading, insulting strawman argument notwithstanding, his point was that in his personal life he has noticed a high degree of desperation among a certain sub-demographic of women and is curious as to what is causing it. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/37 "2009-10-15T17:44:02Z")
Well, that should be obvious. It’s Oprah. I didn’t realize the question actually merited discussion. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/38 "2009-10-15T17:47:32Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Your misleading, insulting strawman argument notwithstanding, his point was that in his personal life he has noticed a high degree of desperation among a certain sub-demographic of women and is curious as to what is causing it. All women in a ten-year age span is more of a generalization that “among a certain sub-demographic” :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/39 "2009-10-15T17:57:07Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > All women in a ten-year age span is more of a generalization that “among a certain sub-demographic” :dubious: Would it make a difference if he had said What The Hell is Going Wrong With **some** 30 Something Females? Or would people have just found something else to nitpick? Because I’m guessing it was implied that that is what he meant. And seeing how people live to be 80, we are talking about 1/8 of women. Not women in their 20s, and not women in their 40s. But women in their 30s are doing this. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/40 "2009-10-15T18:32:25Z")
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