# What The Hell is Going Wrong With 30 Something Females? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869 "2009-10-15T03:56:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/41 "2009-10-15T18:48:36Z")
Can we get an example of what exactly the OP wrote to these women? Because contacting someone out of the blue to compliment them, and perhaps show them how you’ve grown and changed, could just as easily be interpreted as desperate. This isn’t 30-year-old women. Or men. It’s Facebook. It started with college kids so it wasn’t as noticeable, but it makes everyone act like they’re 16 and stupid. And it makes older folk feel like they’ve got a second chance at a long-forgotten romance or to prove themselves to old friends, sometimes to the detriment of their real lives and long-term relationships. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/42 "2009-10-15T18:52:07Z")
Does this mean you’re turning down my friend request, **CF**? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/43 "2009-10-15T18:53:26Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Maybe email them a close-up photograph of your scrotum? Not all of the scrotum, though. Keeps up an air of mystery and keeps 'em in suspense. He’ll know when the time is right for the “big reveal”. honest, I’m not really a creepy scrotum-picture-sender ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/44 "2009-10-15T19:03:25Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Can we get an example of what exactly the OP wrote to these women? Because contacting someone out of the blue to compliment them, and perhaps show them how you’ve grown and changed, could just as easily be interpreted as desperate. > > This isn’t 30-year-old women. Or men. It’s Facebook. It started with college kids so it wasn’t as noticeable, but it makes everyone act like they’re 16 and stupid. And it makes older folk feel like they’ve got a second chance at a long-forgotten romance or to prove themselves to old friends, sometimes to the detriment of their real lives and long-term relationships. Your last sentence made me think of something…maybe the women are simply spending too much time on Facebook, their husbands don’t appreciate it and tell them to get a grip on it, so they go underground… ---
**Author:** ![Mariemarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Mariemarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mariemarie)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/45 "2009-10-15T19:09:07Z")
“Hi honey. How was your day? Whatcha planning to do after dinner this evening?” “Oh I thought I’d watch the LSU Alabama Florida football blah blah football blah blah blah. How about you, sweetheart…got anything planned?” “I’m just going to get on the computer and chat with some old friends on Facebook. It sure is fun to catch up.” “Oh that’s great. How’s old MissyLou and BittyJane and JimDan and …who am I forgetting?” “Oh they’re doing well for the most part. You remember old Berverly Snotsbottom?” “Hell yeah. Damn if I were him I’d a changed my name years ago.” “Well he has, sugar. He now goes by **Shagnasty**.” “Well that’s terrific.” ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/46 "2009-10-15T19:23:40Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > **St. Anger** is right – you need to be _romantic_. You know, really sweep these women off their feet. Maybe email them a close-up photograph of your scrotum? Dude, the taint is the source of romance. Get a closeup of that. Bonus points for dingleberries. Chicks dig dingles. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/47 "2009-10-15T19:26:43Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Dude, the taint is the source of romance. Get a closeup of that. ::scribbles furiously:: Can’t wait to hit Facebook when I get home from work tonight! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/48 "2009-10-15T19:27:39Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > “How do I get these MILFs to back up off me?” “Milves”. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/49 "2009-10-15T19:38:18Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > **St. Anger** is right – you need to be _romantic_. You know, really sweep these women off their feet. Maybe email them a close-up photograph of your scrotum? “Hmm, what is that… the Bonneville Salt Flats? No, it’s… _OH MY **GOD** _!!!” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/50 "2009-10-15T19:40:16Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > “How do I get these MILFs to back up off me?” [Presented without comment](http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/why_do_all_these_homosexuals). ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/51 "2009-10-15T19:50:11Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > “Hmm, what is that… the Bonneville Salt Flats? No, it’s… _OH MY **GOD** _!!!” “Are those _crabs_? Eww.” ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/52 "2009-10-15T21:41:26Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > **St. Anger** is right – you need to be _romantic_. You know, really sweep these women off their feet. Maybe email them a close-up photograph of your scrotum? Let’s not drag this thread down to that level. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/53 "2009-10-17T18:12:15Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > “Are those _crabs_? Eww.” Clickety clack, clickety clack. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/54 "2009-10-17T20:55:29Z")
It’s possible some of those women have been thinking about having an affair for years and they see you as a safe option. Or they could just be flirting. I had a few similar experiences around the same age, maybe a little older. In one instance, a girlfriend from college tracked me down online. She had some extremely nice things to say to me, including this bit of wonder: _I learned to love myself because of the way you loved me_ :eek::eek::eek: Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson? It worked. She _was_ looking to have an affair but couldn’t see herself picking up a guy at her gym, or at work, or wherever. So despite not having seen each other for 22 years we met up in a hotel for a day of…it was just a great day. She was even better looking at 40, absolutely beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/55 "2009-10-17T21:58:52Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > It’s possible some of those women have been thinking about having an affair for years and they see you as a safe option. Or they could just be flirting. > > I had a few similar experiences around the same age, maybe a little older. In one instance, a girlfriend from college tracked me down online. She had some extremely nice things to say to me, including this bit of wonder: > > _I learned to love myself because of the way you loved me_ > > :eek::eek::eek: > > Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson? > > It worked. She _was_ looking to have an affair but couldn’t see herself picking up a guy at her gym, or at work, or wherever. So despite not having seen each other for 22 years we met up in a hotel for a day of…it was just a great day. She was even better looking at 40, absolutely beautiful. Sounds like you and her are two very sophisticated, classy people… ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/56 "2009-10-18T00:44:48Z")
Shagnasty … to answer your question … maybe you’re just that sexy? (Insert rambling, tongue-in-cheek paragraph here about how you really are cute, I know because I saw your website in your profile, and I’ve always had a weakness for dark haired guys anyway and oh what a beautiful family!! Your wife is soooooo lucky to have someone like you. Call me!!) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![conurepete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@conurepete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/conurepete)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/57 "2009-10-18T00:52:19Z")
After they have been married awhile, some women are just curious to find out if they remember how to have sex. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/58 "2009-10-18T01:02:51Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Can we get an example of what exactly the OP wrote to these women? Maybe it’s his charming story that he has on a Word document that he’s cut and pasted here several times regarding playing a prank on his buddy’s girlfriend. You know, harmless ol Huckleberry Finn type stuff with a dash of creepy-borderline-date-rape sprinkled in. Good clean fun. Bitches be lovin that shit. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/59 "2009-10-18T01:21:57Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > Shagnasty … to answer your question … maybe you’re just that sexy? > > (Insert rambling, tongue-in-cheek paragraph here about how you really are cute, I know because I saw your website in your profile, and I’ve always had a weakness for dark haired guys anyway and oh what a beautiful family!! Your wife is soooooo lucky to have someone like you. Call me!!) > 😃 Oh, I am certainly hot or at least that what is what I tell myself when I look in the mirror in the morning. Other people disagree completely but what do they know? One of my life’s dreams would be quite the little whore but I don’t have the morals to ever pursue that. I really like females as people just because of the way I was raised but it does get a little odd. I just love my young daughters more than anything and my female friends and I spend an excessive amount of time with them. My ex-wife and I even own a house together and she is very attractive and we have a very unusual divorce relationship and spend almost as much time together as when we were married with no other relationships involved. My basic question was directed to why so many 30 something females seem so emotionally desperate. The e-mail comes in fast and furious and it takes me a couple of hours every night to keep up with it. I also joined [Eharmony.com](http://Eharmony.com) and had to cancel it in the first week because it was out of control. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/60 "2009-10-18T01:31:50Z")
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