# What The Hell is Going Wrong With 30 Something Females? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869 "2009-10-15T03:56:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/61 "2009-10-18T01:47:34Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > uh-huh I am not sure if you were responding to me but what I said was completely true. I have never seen anything like it. That is why I asked the question. I won’t let anything come of it and I won’t even see these people more than once of twice in my life again but it is a strange Facebook thing. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/62 "2009-10-18T01:48:41Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > My basic question was directed to why so many 30 something females seem so emotionally desperate. The e-mail comes in fast and furious and it takes me a couple of hours every night to keep up with it. > > I also joined [Eharmony.com](http://Eharmony.com) and had to cancel it in the first week because it was out of control. I wouldnt get too worried. Females love the web. You can chat, email, IM for hours on end with em but it aint gonna amount to much in reality. My WAG. Bout 3000 hours of typing per 15 minutes of actual fucking resulting from said typing. If you keep it down to a couple hundred hours a year nobody is in any real danger. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/63 "2009-10-18T02:00:16Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I also joined [Eharmony.com](http://Eharmony.com) and had to cancel it in the first week because it was out of control. I feel the same way about Dungeons and Dragons that you do about eharmony. Except instead of being overwhelmed by female attention, I sometimes get overwhelmed by Elves looking to steal my gold. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/64 "2009-10-18T03:44:37Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > Sounds like you and her are two very sophisticated, classy people… You sound like this guy I used to know. He was an uptight, condescending prick who never got laid. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/65 "2009-10-18T04:45:48Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > You sound like this guy I used to know. He was an uptight, condescending prick who never got laid. Rush Limbaugh? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/66 "2009-10-19T03:39:46Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > The replies don’t mean they are on the make. Some people are married to possessive people that will not tolerate any activity that isn’t about serving them. They want their spouse isolated with no friends. I’m not saying you won’t get affair offers, but don’t assume that’s it. > > As for why they want to talk to you daily, they may lead a boring life. I don’t understand why everyone seems to be so caught up in the “sexual” explanation. My experience is that women over 30 are more likely to seem flirtatious online without it meaning anything. They just want an emotional, not sexual connection. They don’t see it as cheating, but are worried their husbands might. Despite all this, I’ve also heard that women reach their sexual peak in their thirties, while men reach it in their late teens. Perhaps some feel like men do at 15, wanting it badly, but not considering the consequences, or even quite understanding the feelings. I know when I was a kid I didn’t recognize that my feeling of wanting to cuddle was sexual in nature. And I have an older woman friend who is being flirtatious, but doesn’t seem to realize it, as she wants me to meet her husband. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/67 "2009-10-19T04:42:22Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I know when I was a kid I didn’t recognize that my feeling of wanting to cuddle was sexual in nature. And I have an older woman friend who is being flirtatious, but doesn’t seem to realize it, as she wants me to meet her husband. Maybe he wants to cuddle too. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/68 "2009-10-19T07:08:17Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I really like females as people just because of the way I was raised > > \ > > why so many 30 something females I don’t want to be mean, but the way you phrase things strikes me as kind of… bizarre. “_Females_?” How about “_women_?” “Females” sounds like you referring to lab rat specimens or bird watching or something. And I sure hope you “like females as people” because females _are_ people, also known as “women” (see above). > [@Shagnasty](#): > > The e-mail comes in fast and furious and it takes me a couple of hours every night to keep up with it. I find this hard to believe but giving you the benefit of the doubt… Are these 2 hours a night spent just reading these many e-mails? Or does it include responding to them? If so, then why are you taking all this time to respond to these women when their behavior is making you uncomfortable?? Maybe it is because you are writing these lonely women long tomes that they are responding to you in such a flirty way. Stop writing to them. De-friend them if it bothers you. - **nyctea** , a 30-something _female_ ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/69 "2009-10-19T15:40:57Z")
In all honesty, if one of my guy friends from high school sent me wall posts apropos of nothing about how much he always liked/appreciated something about me in high school, I would think it was a little…flirty, frankly. I mean, we were friends, so I would automatically assume they liked and appreciated things about me–otherwise why would we have been friends? So why would you feel the need to tell me all that, especially at this late date? If it were sparked by and posted in relation to something I’d said, it wouldn’t register, but just out of the blue it would have me asking what was up with _that_? So my thought is that these women perceive you to have been flirting with them and are flirting back. And if I had a guy I liked in high school who was flirting with me, and I was flirting back and inviting closer contact, I sure as shit wouldn’t want my husband to know about it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/70 "2009-10-19T16:25:36Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Maybe it’s his charming story that he has on a Word document that he’s cut and pasted here several times regarding playing a prank on his buddy’s girlfriend. You know, harmless ol Huckleberry Finn type stuff with a dash of creepy-borderline-date-rape sprinkled in. Good clean fun. Bitches be lovin that shit. Oh right, that lovely story. This is what I get for my inability to attach any sort of reputation or track record to Dopers’ screen names! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/71 "2009-10-19T17:32:43Z")
I was just talking to some folks about what the deal is with so many 40ish women. There seem to be a LOT of them who raise a kid or two, send them off to college, then declare themselves lesbians, dump the hubby and shack up with some other newly minted lesbian. Were they ever attracted to men? Did they hide their true feelings for the sake of the kids? Did typical make assholish behavior finally make them give up on men in disgust? In a lot of cases, I don’t even know whether or how much sexual orientation/attraction plays a large role in this lifestyle. ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869/72 "2009-10-19T18:24:51Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > …shack up with some other newly minted lesbian. They come in mint flavor now? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-going-wrong-with-30-something-females/513869.md?page=3)