# What the hell is wrong with 13 year old girls today? (Plus I'm so proud of my son) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347 "2003-05-10T18:03:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FudgeNugget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7cd45c/32.png) [@FudgeNugget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FudgeNugget)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/21 "2003-05-11T01:32:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\*My 13-year-old son attended Grad Night at Sea World last night, not getting back to school until 1am or so, and not getting home until about 2am. > > The park was packed with other 8th-graders, but he had fun, albeit paying $6 for a hamburger and standing in long lines. > > At one point, he’s playing an arcade game when a girl walks up to him and says, “Do you want to see my tits?” **13-14 years old!!!** > > My son ignores her, continuing to play the game. > > She asks again, “Do you want to see my tits?” > > My son continues to play the game. > > Finally she says, “You’re ignoring me.” > > To which my darling son says, “Yes. Because you have no respect for yourself.” > > She storms off in a huff. > > So, on the one hand I am so proud because my son, raging with hormones, knows at an early age what to look for in a potential girlfriend, but on the other hand, I am horrified that 13-14 year old girls would walk up to a total stranger and offer to flash them. Is there some sort of con game going on with prepubescent girls that I am unaware of? Or is my son going to be bombarded with sluts? \*\* Did your son tell you this, or were you there? ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/22 "2003-05-11T01:34:51Z")
Whether she was truly offering to show 'em, or just trying to mess with his mind, she just found out that it IS possible for the male to ignore her, and for HER to be the one who ends up losing face. Which may be a very important lesson… **ivyboy** may have actually done her a world of good. ---
**Author:** ![FudgeNugget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7cd45c/32.png) [@FudgeNugget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FudgeNugget)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/23 "2003-05-11T01:56:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JRDelirious \* > \*\*Whether she was truly offering to show 'em, or just trying to mess with his mind, she just found out that it IS possible for the male to ignore her, and for HER to be the one who ends up losing face. Which may be a very important lesson… **ivyboy** may have actually done her a world of good. \*\* It’s possible, but not likely considering the great amount of boys who would’ve happily accepted the girl’s offer 😉 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/24 "2003-05-11T02:16:44Z")
I think your son gave a great response. He must have a “good head on his shoulders”. _Thinks back over the years_ It wouldn’t have been totally shocking for that to have happened to me, considering the crowd I was running with when I was 13. My response would have been something like: “What’s your freakin’ game?”, because sure as the world, she would have had something working besides simply flashing some tits. I’d bet this girl had something else working too. Your son’s response was just more classy than mine would have been, and his reasons were better. My reasons for turning such a thing down would have been 100% an attempt to avoid falling into whatever trap she had set. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/25 "2003-05-11T02:30:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FudgeNugget \* > \*\*Did your son tell you this, or were you there? \*\* My son actually told Ivylad first, and then Ivylad told me. Then I discussed it with my son. Everyone, thank you for your kinds words. I’ve made some mistakes, I know, but I obviously did something right along the way. And no, he’s not gay. If you will search for a previous thread, you will find that he suddenly developed an interest in church because a young lady there asked his sister where he was. And **Lobsang** , I don’t know if she was messing with his head. It still seems like an odd question to ask a total stranger. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/26 "2003-05-11T02:52:51Z")
Good for your son, **IvyLass**! Just a thought, here. You appear to live in Orlando, which is not far from the fabled lands of Spring Break. It seems possible that word of the behavior that occurs at Spring Break has filtered down to the younger girls, along with the fact that it drives the boys wild. They may even have seen some of the video clips that are available on the Web. And, they may see nothing wrong with it. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/27 "2003-05-11T02:54:48Z")
> [@](#): > > And yes, your son is going to be bombarded with sluts 😕 Not everybody gets bombarded with sluts in Jr. High, I assure you. 😕 :mad: [quotethings ain’t the way they used to be.[/quote] Things must’ve changed a lot in seven years! [This just proves my theory that I _AM_ old. > [@](#): > > From what I gather talking to friends who has younger brothers, girls in middle school are damn aggressive - to the point of sticking their hands down a guy’s pants at a party as soon as they start to kiss. :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/28 "2003-05-11T03:03:06Z")
Call me immature if you wish, but if an attractive female offers to show me her breasts, I’m going to take her up on her offer. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/29 "2003-05-11T03:04:45Z")
I have a 10 year old daughter…looks like I need to start discussing with her the right and the wrong ways to approach boys. Ickadoo, this parenting gig is _hard_! Like maneuvering a minefield blindfolded. As far as spring break goes, **Davebear** I think most of the locals know to avoid the beaches during that particular period. But you bring up an interesting point. Are our children maturing sexually before they should? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/30 "2003-05-11T03:06:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blalron \* > \*\*Call me immature if you wish, but if an attractive female offers to show me her breasts, I’m going to take her up on her offer. \*\* Just make sure she’s of legal age before you take her up on her kind offer. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![RobbieFal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c5a1d2/32.png) [@RobbieFal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobbieFal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/31 "2003-05-11T03:08:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\*Just make sure she’s of legal age before you take her up on her kind offer. 😛 \*\* “Wanna see my tits?” “Do you have any ID?” “Fuck off lameo!” ---
**Author:** ![sivispacem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@sivispacem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sivispacem)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/32 "2003-05-11T03:22:34Z")
Not to be too terribly alarmist, my thoughts are just from what I’m hearing with my ear to the ground. A lot of my friends have siblings of that age and younger, and things they are a changing. > [@](#): > > Are our children maturing sexually before they should? Oh yeah. Not only in the physical sense (which has been discussed in plenty of other threads), but more troublingly with their actions. If half the stuff I hear is based in any fact whatsoever, I’d strongly encourage anyone with a family member in their early teens to talk to the kid about what (or who) goes down in their school. No hijack intended, but this doesn’t seem to be just another “oh, kids these days!” that every generation goes through - what happens now sure as hell wasn’t happening the less than 10 years ago I was in middle school. Could be wrong, but what’s to loose by talking to your kid/younger sibling? ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/33 "2003-05-11T03:29:54Z")
This is disturbing in many ways. First of all, you have done a great job with that boy. He understood - at the moment, when he might have panicked- that the right thing to do was demur, that this was NOT the way to deal with his female peers. I feel badly for the young lady. Whether she’s been abused or not, she has somehow come to the decision ( perhaps unconsciously ) that trading on her pubescence is acceptable coin of the realm. It is the immersion of culture that may have brought her to this, or perhaps she has indeed been victimized in some way. At the age of 13, I would have panicked completely. And, said no or run off speechless. I will confess, that even if your son and this gal were very close boyfriend/girlfriend, 13 is just way too darned young for baring private parts. They’re not old enough to handle it, even if their bodies have given them the hardware. They lack the software support… I can hope that my children turn out to be as levelheaded as your son was. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/34 "2003-05-11T03:59:25Z")
Regardless of the morality in young teenage sexual activity, **sivispacem** raises a very very good point. Talk with your kid, let them know what responsible sexuality is, how it can (and should) be built on mutual love and trust, and whatever else is important. Nothing is more dangerous than an ignorant sack of hormones (speaking as someone just now edging slowly out of that stage). Even beyond that, and vital for just about every talk with your children, make sure to keep that line of communication open. The worst thing you can do is lay things down and then never open up again. The teenage years are a time of great change physically, emotionally, and mentally. Your kid will want more questions answered before the end, and you better hope they get those answers from sources other than _a guy at a party_ or _my friend Danny/Donna_. Further realize that despite the bravado and bluster, if you’ve shown your child true love and affection, they ultimately want to make you proud. They will fail to meet their internal and external expectations at times, as we all do. They will stumble in this area as well as others. _Don’t flip out and drive them away_. The worst thing you can do to your child is make them think they’ve lost your love. Help them, teach them, sometimes guide them, but never ever even look like you’ve stopped loving them. This has been my experience with my parents, and I’d like to think I’ve turned out better than average despite certain handicaps. You may feel free to disagree (what am I saying? this is SDMB), and your mileage may vary. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/35 "2003-05-11T04:18:05Z")
There’s just something hard to resist about titties. Maybe it’s just me though. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/36 "2003-05-11T04:48:41Z")
What would have been so wrong for him to have said, “Yes” and then waiting to see what she did? God, sometimes I feel like I’m the only adult on Earth who remembers what it was like to be a horny young teen. As for your son, my feeling is that parents should give kids room to develop sexually as fast or as slowly as they are ready to. If he doesn’t wanna see tits, he doesn’t have to. If he does, good for him. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/37 "2003-05-11T08:07:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > Are our children maturing sexually before they should? Yes. Anorexic teenage girls often exhibit _amennorhea_ (no menstruation) due to lack of hormone transport by bloodstream lipids. Overabundance of these same lipids (often associated with high fat and protein rich diets) may result in _Isosexual Precocious Puberty_. The nutrient rich American diet may well be accelerating both body growth and sexual maturation. An [excerpt](http://clinicalstudies.info.nih.gov/cgi/detail.cgi?B_1982-CH-0165.html): “The normal changes of puberty, such as breast enlargement, pubic hair and menstrual periods, usually begin between the ages of 9 and 15 in response to hormones produced in the body. Some children’s bodies produce these hormones before the normal age and start puberty too early. This condition is known as precocious puberty.” “The hormones responsible for the onset of puberty come from the pituitary gland and the ovaries. The hormones from the pituitary gland act on the ovaries to produce different hormones that cause the breasts to grow, pubic hair to develop, and menstruation.” Another [excerpt](http://www.ivf.com/amenath.html): “We call this interdependent relationship between the brain and the ovaries the hypothalamic-pituitary-ovarian axis (HPO for short) The hypothalmus is affected by variables such as associated nutrition and dietary factors ( **caloric, fat** , or weight restrictions), menstrual pattern prior to onset of training, age when training began. These factors determine ability of the HPO-axis to withstand the further stress brought on by exercise.” BOLDING ADDED ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/38 "2003-05-11T09:43:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\*And **Lobsang** , I don’t know if she was messing with his head. It still seems like an odd question to ask a total stranger. \*\* I was just joking. I doubt she was messing with his head, ---
**Author:** ![Qis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Qis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qis)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/39 "2003-05-11T10:43:18Z")
What game was he playing? ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347/40 "2003-05-11T11:36:13Z")
If this had happened to me while I was in school, and I’d said yes, the girl would had made sure she had my full attention, and then said “Haha, you lost your quarter” and told all her friends. Thus I can’t help but assume that no breast-viewing was intended. Of course, I never would have said yes, because I would have _known_ it was a trap. So, kudos to your son for catching on early that women are evil and can’t be trusted. 🙂 Of course, girls are different these days, and not every boy is the pariah I was. Perhaps she really did want to flash him. Regardless of which is the truth, good for him for having a snappy and utterly conversation-ending comeback. That’s a skill that can be used again and again throughout life. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-13-year-old-girls-today-plus-im-so-proud-of-my-son/174347.md?page=3)