# What the hell just happened in this facebook conversation? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 13, 2016, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039 "2016-01-13T15:44:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/41 "2016-01-13T18:59:04Z")
I thought it was funny scene, if low-key. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/42 "2016-01-13T19:04:04Z")
Procrustus, if I asked a coffeeshop how they make their lattes and that’s what they told me, I’d be bemused as well. The amount of espresso in a drink to me, is more a function of the size of the drink. If I order a 12 oz latte, I expect 1 shot. If I order a 16 oz latte, I expect 2 shots. If I order a 12 oz flat white, I expect 2 shots. How the milk is steamed and poured is far more critical to me than the amount of coffee. If I order a 12 oz latte and they add 2 shots of espresso, I think “Ooh, they make a strong latte”. If I order a 12 oz latte and they don’t hold back the foam til the end, I think “Oh, they don’t know what a latte is.” ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/43 "2016-01-13T19:07:35Z")
Everything about this is objectively not funny. You’re all wrong and you don’t know what humor is. I pity you. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/44 "2016-01-13T19:14:14Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > Everything about this is objectively not funny. You’re all wrong and you don’t know what humor is. I pity you. Funny you should say that… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/45 "2016-01-13T19:15:01Z")
I gather it’s not an option to use different kinds of milk and still have what comes out be a ‘flat white’? Like if you use skim or full fat, it ends up being a thin white or a chunky white? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/46 "2016-01-13T19:22:13Z")
I would think the type of milk has no bearing other than the less fatty the milk, the less it foams when steamed. A flat white is called that because it shouldn’t have much if any foam on the top of the drink. ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/47 "2016-01-13T19:30:16Z")
Out of curiosity, what sort of answer _were_ you looking for? The way you phrased the question, “you guys’ definition” (cringe), it seems to me that you already know what a flat white is, you’re just wondering what this particular place would do differently. I ask because I just read a couple of articles about flat whites, and it seems that the only variations between vendors have to do with the number of shots of espresso and the ratio of espresso to milk, i.e. the serving size. That is uses steamed milk with no foam isn’t really up for debate. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/48 "2016-01-13T19:55:15Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Procrustus, if I asked a coffeeshop how they make their lattes and that’s what they told me, I’d be bemused as well. The amount of espresso in a drink to me, is more a function of the size of the drink. If I order a 12 oz latte, I expect 1 shot. If I order a 16 oz latte, I expect 2 shots. If I order a 12 oz flat white, I expect 2 shots. > > How the milk is steamed and poured is far more critical to me than the amount of coffee. If I order a 12 oz latte and they add 2 shots of espresso, I think “Ooh, they make a strong latte”. If I order a 12 oz latte and they don’t hold back the foam til the end, I think “Oh, they don’t know what a latte is.” Frylock, is this the type of feedback you were getting? ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/49 "2016-01-13T19:57:13Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > Out of curiosity, what sort of answer _were_ you looking for? The way you phrased the question, “you guys’ definition” (cringe), it seems to me that you already know what a flat white is, you’re just wondering what this particular place would do differently. > > I ask because I just read a couple of articles about flat whites, and it seems that the only variations between vendors have to do with the number of shots of espresso and the ratio of espresso to milk, i.e. the serving size. That is uses steamed milk with no foam isn’t really up for debate. Yeah, that’s why I asked what OP’s definition of a flat white is. Because if the only real variable is how many shots of espresso, then his question was answered and I don’t know why it’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/50 "2016-01-13T20:10:48Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > How is it not funny that when I ask the guy who’s making my drink what goes in the drink, his first answer displays no useful knowledge of said drink and his follow-up shows the whole establishment has no such useful knowledge either? I guess I don’t expect much from entry level service personnel? A non-answer, or an incomplete answer from someone making minimum wage with few benefits is so common an occurrence that it wouldn’t even register. I don’t expect someone working a job where the employer doesn’t particularly care about them to care about the job. ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/51 "2016-01-13T20:20:45Z")
So barely funny it only moved my laugh-o-meter within it’s accepted margin of error, sorry! ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/52 "2016-01-13T20:22:13Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I would think the type of milk has no bearing other than the less fatty the milk, the less it foams when steamed. A flat white is called that because it shouldn’t have much if any foam on the top of the drink. If that’s the case, it seems to me that a charitable reading of the answer would be that the barista assumed the customer knew what he was ordering, being familiar with the concept of a flat white (hence asking for ‘you guys’ definition’, rather than the drink’s general definition), so they just told him the variables—how much caffeine to expect, and that there’s debate whether it’s better with, say, skim or full fat. But then again, I’m German, so my appraisal of anybody’s humor probably isn’t anything to go by… 😉 (\<-See, I added a smiley face to indicate that that was an attempt at a joke.) ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/53 "2016-01-13T20:40:29Z")
Now I want one. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/54 "2016-01-13T20:42:55Z")
“What’s you guys’ definition of a flat white?” “You don’t want to know.” “Yes I do.” “No you don’t.” “Do!” “Don’t!” “Yes I DO! Now I’m asking you for the last time, what is a flat white?” _\ \_ _(muffled)_ “I’m sorry I asked!” _\_ V.O.: We’ll be right back with more _Frylock 'n Pals_, after these messages! ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/55 "2016-01-13T20:48:50Z")
Not really funny to me. At least, no more funny than any routine miscommunication. If I’d been the barista, I probably would not have understood your question. It’s like asking what’s your definition of a chocolate cake. You could get different answers to this question based on the responder’s orientation. I’d say chocolate cake is composed of chocolate-flavored cake with chocolate icing. Someone might give you a full recipe. The barista might get different variations of this question on a daily basis. Sounds like he might use the same answer for all of them ---
**Author:** ![Ignotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecc23a/32.png) [@Ignotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignotus)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/56 "2016-01-13T21:14:50Z")
> [@](#): > > While I stood there pondering the inadequacy of this definition, he added, **"We argue with each other about what kind of milk to use.**" Wait… _milk_ – that’s the white stuff they squeeze out of cows, right? Which they were force-feeding us when we were kids? You telling me there are _different kinds_ of that? (And why would anyone drink it, or ruin perfectly good coffee by putting it into it? Whisky, brandy or even vodka, I could understand _that_! But _milk_?) ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/57 "2016-01-13T21:15:03Z")
Now this thread has become an unintentionally hilarious display of literal thinking. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/58 "2016-01-13T21:17:09Z")
To be honest, I’m most bugged by some people’s apparent predilection for referring to espresso as coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/59 "2016-01-13T21:22:03Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > To be honest, I’m most bugged by some people’s apparent predilection for referring to espresso as coffee. Educate me—isn’t espresso a type of coffee? What’s the salient difference? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039/60 "2016-01-13T21:46:45Z")
I suppose there isn’t. But it looks very weird to me to refer to a shot of espresso as as shot of coffee. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-facebook-conversation/743039.md?page=4)