# What the hell makes people like this ? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 6, 2002, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340 "2002-09-06T20:52:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/21 "2002-09-07T13:10:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SparrowHawk \* > \*\*Hey, _my_ daughter’s dating one of **them**! He’s the sweetest boy she’s ever hung out with, a gentleman who brings _me_ flowers, too, when he comes to pick her up. > > I had to read the neighor’s comment over two or three times before I got the implication. Such stupidity. Sad. \*\* He’s one handsome guy, too! Their prom picture is proudly displayed with the 800 kajillion grandkid pics at mom and dad’s house. Some people might be tempted to say it’s a generational thing, but I think it’s more attitude, and what you’ve been taught. Since I’m the father of a teenage girl (blonde and blue-eyed, no less), I’ve caught myself pondering my own attitudes. I can honestly say that I’d much rather she dated (hell, married!) someone who loved her, treated her well, was a good honest hard-working man, as opposed to an idiot who was the “right” color. Yes, it’s sad. Worse, it’s hateful to openly direct it at a child. This woman needs to be seriously called out on it. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/22 "2002-09-07T13:21:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dragongirl \* > **The bitchy neighbor looks right at me and says “Gee, that’s unfortunate.” with this weird look on her face. It took me a second to figure out what she was getting at.** Racism knows no boundaries, I suppose. This is usually where I like to play stupid. When they look at you like that, and expect you to agree with them over the remark. I’ve found a good way to call them on it without making a fuss is either to ignore the remark and proceed as if they actually didn’t like chocolate, or just tell them flat out you don’t like implications like that around you. Sometimes you have to be direct. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/23 "2002-09-07T13:26:09Z")
One of my dad’s earlier serious girlfriends was Japanese. His father, um, never got along with her. Course my mom is a quarter Korean. Grandpa didn’t like her very much either, but he managed to suck it up long enough to perform the wedding ceremony. (He was a minister.) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/24 "2002-09-07T22:07:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dragongirl \* > **Her response was "You’ll change your mind when your daughter decides to data one of them."** Somebody at work tried this line on me after we had been discussing racial and cultural issues. I could only reply that if my daughter brings home a complete jerk, I will be concerned, regardless of what his skin looks like, likewise I’ll be pleased if she brings home someone who isn’t a jerk. Personally (and I have no idea why) I actually happen to think that most mixed-race couples look really _good_ together. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/25 "2002-09-07T23:09:56Z")
personally I like women no matter what flavor they come in, your neighbor is a moron and I would guess the kids already are aware of this fact, I know mine usually is when it comes to things like this. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/26 "2002-09-08T02:22:11Z")
Even if it wasn’t racist, bigoted and offensive - it’s a pretty pathetic, lame little joke. Hey **gatopescado** - are you white? Do you like vanilla? Gee I hope so. And now we wait for the belly laughs to start… ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/27 "2002-09-08T08:23:20Z")
Personally I don’t even think its worth getting upset over. If someone made some crass remark in my presence, I’d actually kind of feel _sorry_ for them because I interpret that behavior as embarrasing one’s self. To shed some light on the OP, I think two things determine this type of behavior- 1. Some individual of a particular ethnicity did them wrong at some point in their lives, and it bothered them so much they made a generalization about it in terms of race. Perfect example is my mother. All the accidents she’s been in involved an asian driver, and they were at fault. So she believes asians are bad drivers. 2. The person was brought up to believe things about certain kinds of people. Heredetary racism I guess you could call it. As for me, I look at it this way- Anybody can be a jerk. I don’t attribute behavior to the amount of pigment in the person’s integument. I attribute it to being dropped on their head when they were little :razz: ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/28 "2002-09-08T11:08:56Z")
I guess I would never have understood what you say was the point of your neighbor’s joke. Can a joke that nobody understands be considered offensive? Did she say for certain that that was what she meant? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/29 "2002-09-08T20:37:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Personally (and I have no idea why) I actually happen to think that most mixed-race couples look really good together. Same here. There was a study done a couple years back that warranted a large article in _Discover_ magazine. I don’t remember the exact methodology, but it involved showing pictures of people of different races and judging the viewers’ reactions to see how attractive they were perceived. Children of mixed parentage were significantly more likely to be seen as physically attractive than those with parents of homogenous pigment. Another great reason to encourage interracial dating is that the faster we all fuck each other, the faster everyone will be the same color and racism will be impossible. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/30 "2002-09-08T21:00:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > \*\* > Did she say for certain that that was what she meant? > \*\* I think that the implication was pretty clear when she was called on it, and responded: > [@](#): > > “You’ll change your mind when your daughter decides to data one of **them**.” That just about clears things up, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/31 "2002-09-08T21:02:24Z")
Hm. I just realized that I came across pretty snippish in that post. Sorry, **Shodan** , but I didn’t mean to sound pissed. It’s just this damn physics homework… ---
**Author:** ![Intaglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/71e660/32.png) [@Intaglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intaglio)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/32 "2002-09-08T21:03:33Z")
Call it small mindedness, bigotry, and racism. My mother is like this, I didn’t realize until I went into the Navy, and was on my own. She told me if I dated or married out of my white race, then I would be disowned. I never dated, or married outside, but I deprogrammed myself, out of her way of thinking. I would hate to have lost out on friendships because of her small minded thinking. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340/33 "2002-09-08T22:46:44Z")
My step-mother when I was a kid said that the neighbor’s who were hispanic and and black were cruel to have a child knowing it would be mixed race. She thought she was being compassionate. I thought she was being a bitch even then. For myself, I have never dated any one outside my “race” ie everyone I’ve ever dated was white, so after my last relationship I feel like I’ve suddenly discovered a whole new world out there, there are all these beautiful women that I always thought were beautiful but thought I’d never have a chance to date. Now I think “why not?”. However, I WAS married to an Israeli and my other longest relationship was with an Irish girl. I think there is more difference between dating someone from another country and dating someone from your country who’s a different color. My wife and I once laughed about how my parents would have had more of an issue if I brought home a black girl from New York than if I brought home an Ashkenaz Israeli. Erek [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-hell-makes-people-like-this/127340.md?page=1)