# What the Holy Hell is under our porch? True Story **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2008, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581 "2008-10-19T00:19:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/21 "2008-10-19T04:29:37Z")
I’m sorry to inform you that you have a smurf infestation. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/22 "2008-10-19T04:49:10Z")
Honestly, if this were happening to me, I’d be creeped the hell out. Please do let us know what you find under there, be it cheeky chipmonk escaped from the monastery, chupacobra poised to strike, colored muslim with big dick who hates apples, or elusive yeti. ---
**Author:** ![Tabby\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tabby\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabby_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/23 "2008-10-19T04:57:20Z")
Why don’t you put a whole apple under your porch, and see if you get a core back? Your guest doesn’t seem to like cores. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/24 "2008-10-19T05:02:08Z")
Another possibility. Is there any chance that your house was built on a graveyard and they only moved the grave markers and not the bodies? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/25 "2008-10-19T05:18:03Z")
Is it too late to put in a bet on Bigfoot? (When you said the apple core came flying back out, did it roll out like it’d hit something solid or did it actually come flying out like it’d been whacked at? Because if it’s the latter, that’s odd–most wild animals who get something chucked at them tend to flee, not hit the object back at the intruder. Curiouser and curiouser…) ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/26 "2008-10-19T05:39:08Z")
You have a ghost! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/27 "2008-10-19T06:11:10Z")
I’m thinking portal to another dimension, and they are pissed that you keep throwing your garbage into their dimension-X cities. ---
**Author:** ![Tabby\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tabby\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabby_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/28 "2008-10-19T06:23:03Z")
Or an orange portal, positioned on the same surface as a blue one… ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/29 "2008-10-19T09:52:51Z")
**Why haven’t you checked on the children!!?** ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/30 "2008-10-19T10:27:32Z")
> [@Tabby\_Cat](#): > > Or an orange portal, positioned on the same surface as a blue one… The core is a LIE! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/31 "2008-10-19T12:00:05Z")
A homeless person, under the porch? Just get a flashlight & check, _dammit!_ ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/32 "2008-10-19T12:08:11Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > What is a Chupacobra? A poisonous Chupacabra? After the cobra bites you and injects its poison, the Chupacobra comes along and sucks (_[chupar](http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/chupar)_) the poison out. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/33 "2008-10-19T12:17:16Z")
I was just watching “Finnigan’s Rainbow” and it suddenly struck me! Yes, an apple core flew out of the tv and hit me on my head. Then a voice said, “Put it in the bin, Are you trying to encourage rats?” ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/34 "2008-10-19T13:07:42Z")
> [@WF\_Tomba](#): > > After the cobra bites you and injects its poison, the Chupacobra comes along and sucks (_[chupar](http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/chupar)_) the poison out. Yeah, I don’t think that the Chupacobra is going to turn out to be a net postitive like this. Wait, you do have an idea though. A Chupacobra would be a “Snake Sucker” wouldn’t it? Alright, now we’re getting somewhere. The Op has a Mexican hooker living under his porch. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/35 "2008-10-19T13:19:25Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > **Why haven’t you checked on the children!!?** Since when do children like apple cores? ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/36 "2008-10-19T13:26:39Z")
Well we made it through the night. Probably wasn’t a good idea for Mrs. Phlosphr to google-image Chupacabra. This morning the Core is on the rail. I went out to investigate under the morning sun [to prevent vampires, goules, or some trolls from exposing themselves] and I found a small clearing and a little dirt dug away from the base of the porch. I suppose a chipmonk could have done this, if they are making their winter den. However, I thought they had the back stone wall all sewn up as their winter lair. So this morning it remains a mystery. I’ll post any developments…maybe some pics. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/37 "2008-10-19T13:53:26Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > I suppose a chipmonk could have done this, if they are making their winter den. However, I thought they had the back stone wall all sewn up as their winter lair. . . Maybe you have a crabby hermit chimpmonk? ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/38 "2008-10-19T13:56:55Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > to prevent … some trolls from exposing themselves Flasher trolls- the worst kind. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/39 "2008-10-19T14:22:08Z")
Pack Rat? We had one that did the strangest things. It would strip the petals off of flowers and pile them on the deck. When I first saw this, I wondered if my Wife had done it. I donno, looking for seeds or something. My Wife thought that I had done it and was just as confused as I was. It happened a few times. A nice little pile of flower petals on the deck. I bought a live trap, got him and relocated him (they are pretty big, about the size of a shoe). Crackers and peanut butter seems to work pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581/40 "2008-10-19T14:25:10Z")
> [@emilyforce](#): > > Since when do children like apple cores? Um…I don’t think we were talking about apple cores, per se. It’s a movie reference. Spooky. Fear of the unknown. That kind of thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-holy-hell-is-under-our-porch-true-story/468581.md?page=3)