# What the ideal dangerous creature to keep in my moat? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 19, 2018, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460 "2018-05-19T14:16:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/81 "2018-05-22T01:51:00Z")
How many Cthulus can you round up and fit in a moat? ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/82 "2018-05-22T01:59:29Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > How many Cthulus can you round up and fit in a moat? Your Cthulhu is so fat when it sits around the castle it sits AROUND the castle. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/83 "2018-05-22T05:11:00Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Nothing that can climb out of the moat and populate the castle. Pay attention people! They tend to stay on their home bush. > [@](#): > > Not to mention giving solace to the enemy! Spider webs are the best possible dressing for a bramble scratch. These webs are \*crawling \*with spiders. Good luck getting any for dressings without getting any spider. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/84 "2018-05-22T12:23:01Z")
> [@Alpha\_Twit](#): > > Our fates are assured and my soul is prepared. How’s yours? Well, I don’t owe the IRS anything… ---
**Author:** ![txjim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f07891/32.png) [@txjim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/txjim)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/85 "2018-05-22T15:55:34Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > [Seriously](https://youtu.be/yN8SL5Ntp4A?t=1m28s), [cassowaries](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mi5hp4gR_fg). No problem, the nutsack on their neck is an easy target ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/86 "2018-05-22T16:48:35Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Seriously though. the Cassowaries have my attention. If you’re going to do a dry moat, I like the idea of small dinosaurs. What do they eat? Cassowary eat mostly fruit but they are omnivores and their diet also includes fungi, invertebrates and small vertebrates. They have a reputation for being extremely aggressive. That’s about all I really knew about them, but [Wikipedia informs that](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassowary): Specimens 2m tall and weighing 58.5 kilograms (about 130 pounds) have been recorded among southern cassowaries (like the one in the beach video I linked earlier: that’s a southern cassowary). They can run at up to 30 mph in dense forest and jump over 1.5m high (not quite 5 feet). They can swim even tho they can’t fly. Curiously, I don’t see any information about average lifespan. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/87 "2018-05-22T17:31:54Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Curiously, I don’t see any information about average lifespan. Perhaps no one has returned from a study to report it. ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/88 "2018-05-22T19:55:17Z")
The person who said “hyper-active third graders” made a good suggestion, but alligators are such a classic choice that I’d have to go with alligators. ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/89 "2018-05-22T22:13:49Z")
> [@Rocketeer](#): > > The person who said “hyper-active third graders” made a good suggestion, but alligators are such a classic choice that I’d have to go with alligators. Try both and let them fight it out? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/90 "2018-05-23T00:11:20Z")
> [@Alpha\_Twit](#): > > Try both and let them fight it out? If neither side is completely victorious, and there are third graders and alligators in the moat, is that a bad thing? One would have the best of the most terrifying. ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/91 "2018-05-23T00:43:37Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > If neither side is completely victorious, and there are third graders and alligators in the moat, is that a bad thing? One would have the best of the most terrifying. I’m good with it but we may have to add some chihuahuas periodically just to increase the instability. No point in letting things get boring. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/92 "2018-05-23T00:54:52Z")
> [@Alpha\_Twit](#): > > I’m good with it but we may have to add some chihuahuas periodically just to increase the instability. No point in letting things get boring. Indeed. I am always in favor of chihuahuas when it comes to driving someone or something away. We must not [forget cats.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_29k6dJ6DA) ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/93 "2018-05-23T01:13:03Z")
> [@Rocketeer](#): > > The person who said “hyper-active third graders” made a good suggestion, but alligators are such a classic choice that I’d have to go with alligators. From what I’ve read alligators are less aggressive than crocodiles. Watching some of the documentaries of the African crocodiles returning year after year to the exact spot where the wildebeests cross, I think crocodiles may be the best answer. Sure it’s been done but for a reason. [Animal Dying Trigger Warning](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAsJ6lZ1i0M). ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/94 "2018-05-23T01:18:45Z")
Crocs, 3rd graders and chihuahuas sounds like the best deal. ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/95 "2018-05-23T01:20:32Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Crocs, 3rd graders and chihuahuas sounds like the best deal. Add some mime cheerleaders and I think we’ve got it solved. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Nova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@Just\_Nova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Nova)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/96 "2018-05-23T02:10:59Z")
Here are some out of the box ideas from Southeast Asia; How about Komodo dragons ? Durian also quite effective againts westerner. Feed your soldier with jengkol, and told them to pee in the moat, but i think the smell of the pee will make USA send troops to your castle searching for chemical weapon… ---
**Author:** ![MarvinKitFox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MarvinKitFox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarvinKitFox)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/97 "2018-05-23T06:21:50Z")
Any creature is allowed, and the purpose is to scare off and keep out intruders? . Ok, one Marine Batallion. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/98 "2018-05-23T07:46:36Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Fill the moat with hyperactive 3rd graders. How do you differentiate them from the regular kind? Or were you just being repetitive? ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/99 "2018-05-23T19:32:52Z")
I read an article once claiming that some South American soccer field built a moat around the field and filled it with piranhas to keep fans from rushing the field. Heck, just a sign saying Beware of Piranhas would probably be enough. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460/100 "2018-05-23T19:45:38Z")
In the Junior High classroom of a coach teaching Earth science, we kept piranha in an aquarium. We had no room for cassowaries, Chihuahuas or mimes, and we hated grade schoolers. But I digress. The fish would hide if someone stuck their hand in the tank. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-the-ideal-dangerous-creature-to-keep-in-my-moat/814460.md?page=6)