# What ther fuck do you mean I'm a terrorist, Dollar Bank? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 22, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707 "2003-11-22T17:44:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/1 "2003-11-22T17:44:29Z")
Okay, so it’s a nice Saturday afternoon. I just moved to Cleveland. I just got my first pay check. It’s time to open a checking account. So, I go to the nearest bank, a Dollar Bank located next to Ruchmond Mall. Sit down with the bank manager, give him my check, and give him my ID, a Florida driver’s license. “I’m sorry, but subject to the United States Patriot Act, I can’t give you a checking account.” What? Why not? “You have out-of-state identification. Anyone with out-of-state identification who tries to open a bank account is profiled as a possible terrorist.” Wait a minute? I’ve got business cards that identify my position as a higher-up in a local givernment agency. Utility bills with my name and address on them. A paycheck from LAKE COUNTY, OHIO. I’ve got blue eyes, and my name isn’t Achmed Muhammed Deathtoamericallahakba – and – I’m a terrorist? “Possibly.” Fuck this. Fuck Bush, fuck Ashcroft, fuck them all. ---
**Author:** ![eli\_the\_fanatic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ccd318/32.png) [@eli\_the\_fanatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eli_the_fanatic)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/2 "2003-11-22T17:46:41Z")
Why do you hate America so much? (kidding) ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/3 "2003-11-22T17:47:57Z")
That’s crap. (The bank’s reaction, not yours!). I opened a bank account in IL. with a NE. license. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/4 "2003-11-22T17:58:19Z")
Bomb the bank. That should convince them. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/5 "2003-11-22T18:14:43Z")
I’m tired of these **idiot** safety measures that will do nothing or almost nothing to prevent terrorism but make life a pain in the nuts for normal people. My last trip I had a knife-less keychain tool confiscated, because it had a short screwdriver on it. WTF was I going to do, punch it into someone’s throat? If I wanted to do that, I’d use the pen that was in the same bag, which would have worked much better, but was apparently OK to bring on a plane! ---
**Author:** ![milroyj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@milroyj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/milroyj)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/6 "2003-11-22T18:53:30Z")
You could always sign-up for a bank account online. ---
**Author:** ![Fox\_Paws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/85e7bf/32.png) [@Fox\_Paws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_Paws)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/7 "2003-11-22T19:02:07Z")
> [@](#): > > “I’m sorry, but subject to the United States Patriot Act, I can’t give you a checking account.” Huh? I thought the new regulations just said you had to provide identification of some sort. I don’t recall reading anything about that identification having to be from in-state. My bank sent out all sorts of information about the policy change, and nowhere did it mention differences between the validity of in-state and out-of-state ID. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/8 "2003-11-22T19:12:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revtim \* > \*\*I’m tired of these **idiot** safety measures that will do nothing or almost nothing to prevent terrorism but make life a pain in the nuts for normal people. My last trip I had a knife-less keychain tool confiscated, because it had a short screwdriver on it. WTF was I going to do, punch it into someone’s throat? If I wanted to do that, I’d use the pen that was in the same bag, which would have worked much better, but was apparently OK to bring on a plane! \*\* If we don’t have idiotic, ludicrous, and for-show safety measures, the terrorists have won! If we’re not strip-searching little old ladies, the terrorists have won! Why do you hate America so much? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/9 "2003-11-22T19:56:07Z")
I think that the bank is dicking you around a bit too much. > [@](#): > > The institution must verify the identity of any person seeking to open an account by obtaining customer identification that includes: > > 1. Name > 2. Date of birth > 3. Address > 4. Identification number – a taxpayer identification number for American citizens or a government-issued document for noncitizens. Of course there seems to be extra questions that they can ask: > [@](#): > > For instance, Dalbar says institutions could include questions about: > > Other accounts with links to the customer > Nature of the customer’s business and occupation > Name and address of employer > Customer’s wealth > Source of customer’s income > Customer’s tax status > Source of customer’s funds used to open account > Customer’s investment objective Above two quotes taken from [Bankrate.com](http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/bank/20030930a1.asp). It sounds like you met the criteria listed above, I would ask the bank manager what specific part of the “Patriot” Act are you not in compliance with. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/10 "2003-11-22T20:08:02Z")
**elmwood** , are there any other banks you can try? I can see no reason to use the first bank at all if they’re willfully misinterpreting the Patriot Act. (Of course, if you try a second bank and it says the same thing…) ---
**Author:** ![II\_Gyan\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@II\_Gyan\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/II_Gyan_II)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/11 "2003-11-23T00:37:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elmwood \* > \*\*I’ve got blue eyes, and my name isn’t Achmed Muhammed Deathtoamericallahakba – and – I’m a terrorist? > > “Possibly.” > \*\* What are you saying? A black-eyed, brown guy with name Ali would justify the bank’s response? ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/12 "2003-11-23T01:22:47Z")
Like **Gyan9** I don’t see what being blue eyed and non-Arabic in name has to do with anything. There’s no reason why terrorist must equal Arab, nor is there any reason why an Islamic terror cell couldn’t (and wouldn’t) use a sympathetic white front person to handle business transactions for them to keep suspicion to a minimum. Being white, or black, or Hispanic (hello, Jose Padilla!) or Chinese doesn’t mean that one isn’t involved with a terror network. The bank was, however, apparently overinterpreting the requirements of the Patriot Act. Though, by (your reported) phrasing the objection “Anyone with out-of-state identification who tries to open a bank account **is profiled** as a possible terrorist.” it could be that the bank officer wasn’t saying that he _couldn’t_ open the account for you as much as he _wouldn’t_ open the account because it would bring down a problem for both you and the bank that wasn’t worth the hassle since ir was far more than likely that you weren’t someone who needed to caught up in the nets of the domestic front of the War on Terrah. In any case, you’re going to have to get an Ohio DL sooner rather than later, it is the law once you’ve made legal residence there, so go get your DL and then get your bank account. It’ll help you avoid the problem altogether. ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/13 "2003-11-23T03:43:10Z")
Wehn the government implements something like the "Patriot Act, I & II, this is what you get; a lot of people enforcing rules they may or may not know or interpreting them in ways that cause a lot of grief (Not to mention all the civil rights violations that will be committed and overlooked because of the “spirit” of the act. If this is the worst that you suffer from this “law” I would think you are fortunate. As a side note; it is a shame that a blue eyed white guy (Of which I am one) can’t catch a break anymore. ---
**Author:** ![paperbackwriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@paperbackwriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paperbackwriter)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/14 "2003-11-23T03:45:18Z")
I helped work on the implementation of the Patriot Act “know your customer” regulations for my company. **adam yax** ’s cite is entirely correct. Dollar Bank is either greatly over-interpreting the regulations out of a conservative risk management dogma, or the branch manager is a poorly-trained dork. Either way, I’d go to another bank. After all, even if you did manage to open an account there, what do you think the customer service is going to be like down the road? ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/15 "2003-11-23T04:09:10Z")
“conservative risk management dogma” Wasn’t that raised as a defense in the Rodney King case? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/16 "2003-11-23T04:53:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elmwood \* > \*\* > “You have out-of-state identification. Anyone with out-of-state identification who tries to open a bank account is profiled as a possible terrorist.” \*\* New Jersey? ---
**Author:** ![RainbowDragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6a8cbe/32.png) [@RainbowDragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RainbowDragon)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/17 "2003-11-23T13:37:01Z")
Way before 9/11, I moved from Indiana to Columbus Ohio, and went into a FirstStar bank to open a checking account. They refused to open a checking account for me because of their corporate policy against opening accounts for people with out of state licenses (and to supposedly prevent fraud). I just drove further down the road and opened an account at Huntington. They took my out of state drivers license with no problem and I have banked with them ever since. Sounds to me that Dollar Bank has a similar policy, and that the Patriot Act is just a way for them to say, “Hey it isn’t our stupid corporate policy, blame the government and blame the terrorists”. FirstStar was taken over by US Bank recently, not sure if the policy changed as a result. ---
**Author:** ![BlackNGold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@BlackNGold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackNGold)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/18 "2003-11-23T14:10:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TeaElle \* > **Like Gyan9 I don’t see what being blue eyed and non-Arabic in name has to do with anything. There’s no reason why terrorist must equal Arab, nor is there any reason why an Islamic terror cell couldn’t (and wouldn’t) use a sympathetic white front person to handle business transactions for them to keep suspicion to a minimum. Being white, or black, or Hispanic (hello, Jose Padilla!) or Chinese doesn’t mean that one isn’t involved with a terror network.** Of course, you are entirely correct. That being said, I disagree. Not all terrorists are Arab (or anything else), see Tim McVeigh etc. What’s at issue here is basically “profiling”. I have two opinions on this: 1- It’s unAmerican. 2- It’s more likely to be effective. The issue is common, freedom vs safety. In this case, I’m in agreement with your conclusions but for different reasons. I’m willing to trade some of my safety for greater freedom. But I can understand why others would feel differently (see ElAl’s boarding procedures sometime). Quick anecdote - In the early 90’s I went to the airport to pick up my parents. Set off the metal detector after emptying my pockets (forgot I was wearing steel-toes). Security supervisor, after determining the problem with the wand, looked through the contents of my pockets and found a knife. His response: “It’s OK, it’s only a box-cutter”. ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/19 "2003-11-23T14:22:56Z")
this happened in england on a flight to america: and 87 year old woman had a pair of nail clippers conviscated 87 YEARS OLD NAIL CLIPPERS ok if it was a knife i could understand on the grounds a terrorist could steal it off her and use it but NAIL CLIPPERS ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707/20 "2003-11-23T15:04:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigDaiv \* > \*\*this happened in england on a flight to america: and 87 year old woman had a pair of nail clippers conviscated > 87 YEARS OLD > NAIL CLIPPERS > ok if it was a knife i could understand on the grounds a terrorist could steal it off her and use it but NAIL CLIPPERS \*\* Yuppers. My mom had her tweezers nabbed when she first flew after they finally opened the airlines back up. She’s 66 and barely 5 feet tall. Oooooh, but watch out folks, you never know. :rolleyes: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ther-fuck-do-you-mean-im-a-terrorist-dollar-bank/214707.md?page=2)