# What thing about people your own age and sex do you most consistently envy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 21, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312 "2008-04-21T21:32:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/41 "2008-04-22T16:28:12Z")
When I see women my age who have made the right decisions that enable them to stay at home with their kids I cry a little inside. And sometimes outside, too. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/42 "2008-04-22T16:38:43Z")
[QUOTE=MLS] Grandchildren. Of course, the last thing I’d do is pressure, or even suggest to, my kids to reproduce just because of that. [/QUOTE] My father (at the age of 95) just became a great-father, via my brother’s daughter becoming a mother, and my wife’s brother (who’s younger than me) has three grandchildren. However, my four children show no signs of doing anything in this direction: only one is married (which I know isn’t essential to the process these days, but it does help), and she seems more interested in starting her career then traveling around the world. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/43 "2008-04-22T16:44:52Z")
None of my four kids will reproduce for me either. Shoot, some kids I used to babysit are grandparents! My husband is a grandpa and great-grandpa, but it’s not the same. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/44 "2008-04-22T16:45:29Z")
Men my age (45)? Family. I envy the men who have a loving wife and children and somewhere to come home to every night. I’ve gotten most of my act together; I’m out of debt; I’ve been at the same company for 18 years; I have hobbies and outside interests; I’m going to the gym and getting in better shape; I’m always learning things. Yet I don’t have a home; I just have a place to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Sanity\_Challenged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Sanity\_Challenged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanity_Challenged)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/45 "2008-04-22T17:39:36Z")
I envy the guys with a happy marriage & kids. But I’ve also see quite a few unhappy marriages, so I’m glad I’ve managed to dodge a few bullets along the way and not make any hasty decisions based on a desire for a family. I’m a bit embarassed at 34 to still be renting instead of buying a house, especially since I have a decent career going. That may change within the year, though. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/46 "2008-04-22T19:35:20Z")
I’ve never even had a GF for more than a week, and few for even that long. Most people my age (44) have been married at least once and have kids. Not only do I envy that, but it presents practical problems. (Since I don’t want to be nobody’s stepdad, this means dating women my own age is not even a realistic option for me; if a **woman** my age has never been married or reproduced, she must be either really repulsive in some way, or even more fucked-up than I am.) ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/47 "2008-04-22T19:52:24Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Nothing. I am exactly who I need to be at this moment, and where I need to be. It wouldn’t occur to me to look at another guy my age and say “I need to be more like him.” [/QUOTE] Same here. Exactly the same here. Three years ago may have been a different story… ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/48 "2008-04-22T20:02:36Z")
Enormous penises and ample disposable income. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/49 "2008-04-22T20:07:50Z")
The fact that most women my age seem to be married. Do I want to be married for the sake of being married? No, I can do that pretty easily (as in, I turned someone down last year). But I envy women my age who seem to have found that combo of friend-lover that they’ve settled down with and have plans with for a long-term future. It doesn’t really help that my desire to have kids is going up. I have a great life (money, amazing family, career), and I focus on that quite a bit. But I won’t lie and say it isn’t a void in my life. It isn’t a seething jealous envy as much as it is a regret as to why it doesn’t seem to have worked out for me (yet). ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/50 "2008-04-22T20:15:22Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] Same here. Exactly the same here. Three years ago may have been a different story… [/QUOTE] Yep. Except change “Three” to “One.” [QUOTE=BrainGlutton] I’ve never even had a GF for more than a week, and few for even that long. Most people my age (44) have been married at least once and have kids. [/QUOTE] So what you’ve missed out on is the wonderful experience of a messy divorce. > [@](#): > > Not only do I envy that, but it presents practical problems. (Since I don’t want to be nobody’s stepdad, this means dating women my own age is not even a realistic option for me; if a woman my age has never been married or reproduced, she must be either really repulsive in some way, or even more fucked-up than I am.) That’s just not so, on two levels. For one, it’s possible to date someone with kids and not become a stepfather. Not every date has to lead to marriage and fatherhood. For another, there are some wonderful, sane, independent, beautiful women our age who never felt the need to be validated by marriage. And thirdly, who says you have to date someone your own age? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/51 "2008-04-22T20:24:39Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] That’s just not so, on two levels. For one, it’s possible to date someone with kids and not become a stepfather. Not every date has to lead to marriage and fatherhood. [/quote] Indeed not, but the possibility it might lead there seems generally to be assumed unless expressly ruled out. And a **guy** my age can’t very well market himself on terms of, “Look, I’m just trying to get laid here.” [QUOTE=tdn] For another, there are some wonderful, sane, independent, beautiful women our age who never felt the need to be validated by marriage. [/quote] Not IME. Ya got phone numbers? [QUOTE=tdn] And thirdly, who says you have to date someone your own age? [/QUOTE] Women of younger ages. Not to mention certain court orders. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Solfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Solfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Solfy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/52 "2008-04-22T20:32:02Z")
Boobs. I envy boobs. Only because, for a short few years, I had them. Pregnancy and breastfeeding for almost four consecutive years gave me the extra boost that filled out tops so much better. And now they’re gone again. While I’m glad they snapped back pretty close to their pre-pregnancy shape, I do miss the breastfeeding knockers (but not their tendency to leak, or the constant time constraints inherent to breastfeeding). But I’m not about to get implants, nor do I envision getting pregnant in the near future, so I’ve come to terms with breast envy. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/53 "2008-04-22T20:32:07Z")
**BrainGlutton** , I’d like you to meet **anu-la1979**. I’ll leave you two kids alone to talk… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/54 "2008-04-22T20:34:42Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Ya got phone numbers? [/QUOTE] Yes, but I’m not sharing. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/55 "2008-04-22T20:35:10Z")
I have a great boyfriend, actually. And I only date investment bankers/management consultants, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/56 "2008-04-22T20:46:19Z")
[QUOTE=anu-la1979] I have a great boyfriend, actually. And I only date investment bankers/management consultants, anyway. [/QUOTE] Then I guess a lawyer would be way too exciting for you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/57 "2008-04-22T20:59:43Z")
I’m also envious that most guys – well, most **middle-class American** guys – my age have at least some financial security. My life has taken a lot of odd twists and turns, and while I’ve thereby paid my Abnormality Dues many times over, all I’ve got to my name materially is a paid-up car, three graduate degrees and an assload\* of debt. \*More than a buttload, less than a shitload., ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/58 "2008-04-22T21:26:52Z")
[QUOTE=anu-la1979] I have a great boyfriend, actually. And I only date investment bankers/management consultants, anyway. [/QUOTE] _barf_ ---
**Author:** ![Viridiana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Viridiana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Viridiana)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/59 "2008-04-22T22:02:42Z")
Being a jack of many trades, I envy all masters of one of them who’re my age, especially if they share my gender, though I know it shouldn’t matter. I’m not on the bottom rung of the ladder, but I always feel like an RPG character that got created with abilities across the board, to find out that at level 25 all the focused character builds are kicking my ass. I don’t want to be anyone else, I know people’s lives are seldom all they’re presented as, and I don’t really even regret my choices. I’m just frustrated that I’ve taken the scenic route so I’m not further along right now. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2008, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312/60 "2008-04-22T22:23:45Z")
Occasionally I envy women who are good at something that makes them lots of money. (Real estate, law, engineering, etc.) The things I am good at will never make me wealthy. I didn’t pick my talents or my interests; I would make an awful lawyer, the sciences never appealed so I can’t see myself as an engineer, etc., etc… I am a very good photographer, and that is what I would like to pursue full-time, but no matter how good I am I will never be rich. Comfortable, yes. Is that enough? Sure. I’m not particularly greedy. But is there an occasional twinge of envy when I see a woman who is making all kinds of money doing something she’s good at? Yes. I think she’s lucky. I am lucky in many ways myself; a lot of the things people envy in this thread are things I possess. (Outgoing, good social skills, lovable SO, slender, full head of hair, etc.) But we always want what we don’t have, apparently. :smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-thing-about-people-your-own-age-and-sex-do-you-most-consistently-envy/446312.md?page=4)