# What things can a person say to you to make you lose respect instantly? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 6, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755 "2003-11-06T19:54:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/21 "2003-11-07T02:36:36Z")
“Hello”, in the case of my brother-in-law. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/22 "2003-11-07T02:43:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cervaise \* > \*\*Or on a more serious note: > “Hey, check out the tits on that one.” \*\* Or even more direct: “So.” eye flick down to breasts, back up to face, big smile “those real?” ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/23 "2003-11-07T02:51:12Z")
My winner so far, from a guy I was dating at the time (who, oddly enough, had been granted refugee status in the U.S. for religious persecution): when I suggested going out one night to a really cool reggae club, his response was “I don’t go out in the city, because there are too many blacks and Mexicans, and they’re dirty.” He didn’t last very long. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/24 "2003-11-07T02:56:26Z")
-True 'dat. -My bad. Spelling errors actually make me hate. Not typos, but repeated spelling errors. (Speech does not have an **a** in it. Neither does sentence.) - that is sooo gay. (though, my SO said this once and I asked him never to say it again, and he has done well.) I was once forced to sit in a room with thirty girls from the same sorority watching their friends goof off on video tape (I was editing some stuff together for them… at $30 an hour… ) and everytime someone did something hammy or stupid they would all shout **FAG** in unison. I should have had a ‘fag’ surcharge… $5 per instance. ---
**Author:** ![Triss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Triss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triss)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/25 "2003-11-07T02:57:24Z")
I can’t think of any statements personal preferences that would bother me too much, beyond racial, homophobic, paedophiliac or perhaps disgustingly perverted stuff. All of which most people know better than to blurt out in public, anyway. The biggest personal respect drainer for me would probably be: “Don’t agree with me? F\*ck you, then. You’re just a (insert infantile ad-hominem attack here)” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/26 "2003-11-07T04:21:11Z")
“Well, there’s not really any such thing as Canadian culture/identity. It’s just so much like the United States.” (completely unsolicited) “You could improve your appearance so much if you’d just… (dye your hair, buy a new wardrobe, lose fifty pounds…)” Most other stupid comments I don’t mind. I will rebut them; the amount of respect I lose subsequently will be based on the stupidity of the answer. Simply restating the stupid comment as if that’s supposed to be clever (yes, this happens) is grounds for instant demotion. ---
**Author:** ![Omnipresent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@Omnipresent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omnipresent)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/27 "2003-11-07T04:24:27Z")
Actually, for me, it’s any NY/NJ/New England accent and southern accent. Makes my asshole pucker right up! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/28 "2003-11-07T04:25:56Z")
If you insinuate or outright tell me that I am lying after I have given my word, you are toast. Racial slurs are right up there too. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/29 "2003-11-07T04:35:41Z")
OOh, this is fun. Let’s see… - It’s all a big government conspiracy. - Oh, come on, EVERYBODY’S doing it. - Your point of view is normative and therefore irrelevant. - So I’m banging this bitch, right? - If you _really_ loved me, you’d… - Why don’t we call this one a “promise” ring, and you get get me a bigger engagement ring later! (spoken by my ex-fiancee) - Oh, that is _so_ ten minutes ago! ---
**Author:** ![Colinmarshall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Colinmarshall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colinmarshall)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/30 "2003-11-07T05:25:14Z")
Another classic often uttered by teenage womenfolk: “I’m having too much fun for a boyfriend right now.” (Doubtless it’s “too much fun” eating cookie dough ice cream while crying.) ---
**Author:** ![Nvme77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Nvme77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nvme77)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/31 "2003-11-07T05:49:40Z")
“Oh it doesn’t matter anyway because who cares about me…” “Well no one ever tells me anything around here, it’s like I don’t exist.” Basically whining and feeling sorry for themselves makes me shove pencils in my eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Empress\_Jolrael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@Empress\_Jolrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Empress_Jolrael)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/32 "2003-11-07T06:19:44Z")
Aside from “racial, homophobic, paedophilic, and disgustingly perverted stuff” (Thank you, \*\* Triss\*\* :)) there is only one statement (plus variations thereof) that I absolutely despise. “You are the future of America/your country/your generation/the world/the universe, etc” A little explanation might be needed. My high school (private, prestigious, preppy) had a rather high opinion of itself. Although the education was excellent, the preaching was not. The prinicipal had a fondness for asking alumni who had donated large sums of money to come back as speakers. They would, inevitably, say the above. :rolleyes: Guess what the president of my college said in his convocation speech? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/33 "2003-11-07T06:41:40Z")
Anyone who uses the word _people_ as a form of direct address: Listen, people, this is a serious issue! Honorable mention: Using the expression _you people_. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/34 "2003-11-07T06:42:03Z")
“God hates fags, you know.” Or, upon seeing two women out without any male accompaniment: “Fuckin’ dykes.” Both of those came from a coworker. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/35 "2003-11-07T06:46:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snuggles \* > \*\*- Excessive use of swear words, I cannot stand that > > - Any use of racials slurs or other related comments about race/culture/ etc. > - Any harsh statements about characteristics people have no control over. (Example, this one girl was talking about a guy in a wheel chair who is disabled --has no legs-- and says “every time I see that guy I can’t help but laugh at him”. My jaw fell to the floor. SO RUDE!) > - If someone says anything about trends like, “hey snuggles, why aren’t you wearing \_\_\_\_ type of jeans (etc.) They are the “in” thing don’t you know?” GOD I can’t stand that, let me wear what I like, and you do the same. > - Overly argumentative people. Why can’t these people have a discussion without forcing their opinion down my throat? Why can’t they be wrong? > > Those are examples that come to mind. I am sure there are others. \*\* Pfft. **Snuggles** stole all of mine. I kinda fail to see what is wrong with identifying one’s self with being a “------person” though. It’s just a nicer less insulting way than to say “I hate \_\_\_opposite of whatever \_\_\_\_ is”. Though truth is, I usually don’t say “I’m a \_\_\_\_person” I usually try to politely say “I’m not that crazy about \_\_\_opposite of \_\_\_\_”. But sometimes, when pressed, it’s “no, not really, I’m really more of a \_\_\_\_ person, thank you anyway”. My personal dislike is the one word dismissive bleat of “whatEver”. A lot of us use it jokingly, but when it’s that quasi-teen with attitude meant to intimidate?? Just sounds idiotic and will cause me to instantly seek out someone that knows what they are talking about. ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/36 "2003-11-07T07:11:11Z")
Valley Girl speak/teen girl angst speak… and the infamous “like”. “Women are stupid.” “Men are dogs.” When a celeb reveals their political views, like we care. I, too, hate this: _Or, upon seeing two women out without any male accompaniment: “Fuckin’ dykes.”_ - supplied by \*\* racinchikki\*\* 'I’d do her…" spoken as if he’d not date her in public but he’d still do her. That makes me want to rip balls off any male present! Think it all ya want, _winner_ (smirk), just don’t speak it where I can hear you! If the target heard you, she’d rip 'em off too! Any statement where a stereotype is used, like “Jews control the media.” That annoys the frick outta me! ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/37 "2003-11-07T08:42:37Z")
My list: - Any racial slur. - Any homophobic slur. - Any belief in the “liberal media” myth. - “I think George W. Bush is a really smart guy.” - “Microsoft never stole anything, they invented everything themselves.” - “I don’t have time to keep up with the news.” - “I don’t do anything illegal, so \ is okay with me.” ---
**Author:** ![Snake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Snake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snake)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/38 "2003-11-07T08:45:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Khadaji \* > \*\*Any ethnic joke, or ethnic disparity. I was at a party last year (when Kordell Stewart was still part of the Steelers) and a guy actually said that Kordell would never go to the Super Bowel because he was the wrong color. \*\* When we ALL know its because of that thing he has growing out the side of his neck ! Sorry to kinda hijack, but couldn’t resist … ---
**Author:** ![Snake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Snake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snake)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/39 "2003-11-07T09:00:50Z")
But to answer the thread, I’d have to say anyone who speaks to me in politically correct terms or soft euphemistic language. If somebody uses the phrase ‘he’s 70 years young’ for example, it irritates me. Not to the point of losing total respect, though. Just enough to make me want to leave the conversation. To lose total respect, anyway, they would have had to earn it first. ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/40 "2003-11-07T09:17:11Z")
“Pick up the phone!” – this is when someone is calling and the answering machine kicks on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755.md?page=3)