# What things can a person say to you to make you lose respect instantly? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 6, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755 "2003-11-06T19:54:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/41 "2003-11-07T10:50:44Z")
People who say “I’m not racist/sexist/homophobic but…” and then go on to say something racist/sexist/homophobic. Makes my blood boil. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/42 "2003-11-07T11:28:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \*\* > My personal dislike is the one word dismissive bleat of “whatEver”. A lot of us use it jokingly, but when it’s that quasi-teen with attitude meant to intimidate?? Just sounds idiotic and will cause me to instantly seek out someone that knows what they are talking about. You know my ex? > [@](#): > > **Originally posted by Maureen** > “So.” eye flick down to breasts, back up to face, big smile “those real?” Well I gotta admit, now you got me curious. ---
**Author:** ![notquitekarpov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@notquitekarpov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notquitekarpov)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/43 "2003-11-07T11:41:22Z")
“With the greatest respect …(insert disagreement)…” Translation - “I think you are a fool and I have no respect for your opinions…” “It was meant to be…” Yeah, right and go and buy me a frigging dreamcatcher… ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/44 "2003-11-07T11:51:24Z")
“Skinded” … dunno why, but that one absolutely grates on me. All the blind prejudices listed above … “You DON’T go Deer Hunting … it’s the Best! … when you get a big buck right in your sights and BAM!!!..” White suburban kids trying to sound “ghetto.” It’s not a spoken thing, but hitting their kid, dog, cat … “We Always …” followed by an anecdote that is obviously a one time thing … “If you disagree with anything the President said or did, you obviously Hate America, are Not a Patriot, and clearly Wanted more of our soldiers to die!” pauses to do yo-yo eyes at Maureen… ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/45 "2003-11-07T11:54:56Z")
“I ain’t a racialist or nuffin’, BUT… [insert slur here].” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/46 "2003-11-07T13:22:27Z")
“You know, you shouldn’t eat/drink that, it’s bad for you.” I’ll mind my diet and you mind yours. And the less said, the better. If you automatically assume that any guy I hang out with is gay, cause I don’t have sex and I’m into theatre. Homophobic and racial slurs. “What’s wrong with this?” when “this” is an illegal activity and you’ve been arrested. What’s wrong with this is that this is illegal. ---
**Author:** ![Sassafras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@Sassafras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassafras)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/47 "2003-11-07T13:32:19Z")
"Why aren’t you married? " How exactly am I supposed to respond to that? Because I am unattractive to men? Because it’s too much fun sleeping with my friend’s husbands? Because I forgot? I really hate when people use the phrase “You people” when calling me at work. and “ax” for ask and “chirren” for children. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/48 "2003-11-07T13:49:20Z")
I would like to ditto the " white suburban kids talking and dressing ghetto." This drives me nuts. Overt political correctness. GAH! People (ok, women) whom think whatever homebased business they follow religously, treat it like a cult. That is a big deal breaker for me. And NASCAR stuff, it’s a car race, not church. Yeah, flame me for thinking Longeberger and Earnhardt are not a diety. Bible Thumpers. (Petty.) Parents who name their kids something ultra trendy ( Dakota/Brittney and other barfomatic names. Could you be any more unoriginal? People who bitch, bitch, bitch all.the.time. about their spouse and their horrific flaws, yet won’t divorce/leave them. " But I love him." What, love him to drive you nuts? And, I’d like to send this one out to my SIL, people who will say anything to have the group like them. ( Yes, you twit, it is the anti-bacterial soap thing all over again.) PreSchool teachers and their " Gosh, gee whiz" detachment with the rest of the world. It is scary. More so than clowns, creepy janitors and the guy with tinfoil on his head. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/49 "2003-11-07T14:15:33Z")
“That’s so retarded!” “You’re such a retard!” etc. I wouldn’t say it instantly causes me to lose respect for someone I know and like, but hearing it definitely raises my hackles and if it’s coming from someone I don’t know it can really influence my first, and lasting, impressions of them. For people I respect I try and point out gently that it’s a rather unkind expression and leave it at that. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/50 "2003-11-07T15:12:52Z")
When asked why they no-showed at a party that was rescheduled to accomodate them: “Oh, I forgot.” ---
**Author:** ![Omnipresent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@Omnipresent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omnipresent)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/51 "2003-11-07T15:21:28Z")
“No, I won’t have sex with you.” Pow, just lost respect for ya. ---
**Author:** ![Sarcastro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@Sarcastro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarcastro)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/52 "2003-11-07T21:21:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SanguineSpider \* > \*\*When a celeb reveals their political views, like we care. > \*\* Not to attack you, but that particular statement is near the top of my list. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/53 "2003-11-07T22:27:45Z")
**A couple more:** - It’s a \_\_\_\_\_ thing. You wouldn’t understand. - Drink 'till she’s cute. - You hurt my feelings! I’m calling my lawyer! - He drives _that?_ What a loser! - If it’s too loud, you’re too old. - Having a beer or two improves my driving reflexes. - It’s only wrong if I get caught. - Don’t call me “ma’am”, that’s so insulting! ---
**Author:** ![Spurious\_George](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Spurious\_George](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spurious_George)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/54 "2003-11-07T22:42:21Z")
And not to pile on, but I got your back, **Sarcastro**. Since when does being famous suddenly invalidate your right to express a political opinion? (This complaint reached fever pitch this year when several celebrities had the gall to speak out against a superpower’s invasion of a Third World nation). But this isn’t the place for that argument. Back on topic: “My email address is … at [AOL.com](http://AOL.com)”. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/55 "2003-11-07T23:13:25Z")
Oooh. Oooh. So many here to pick from! The “@ [AOL.com](http://AOL.com)” address–I hadn’t thought of that, but it’s true–when someone has an AOL email address, in the back of my mind I wonder, “Clueless newbie?” (But I do realize that a lot of people keep an AOL email address for convenience’s sake and nothing more…) Ditto on the racist, homophobic comments. My respect-o-meter goes down a notch with any mention or cite of “Yesterday on Dr. Phil’s show…” **Kizarvexius** listed quite a few that I also share–especially “He drives _that_? What a loser!” (Who gives a shit about what car someone drives?) “If it’s too loud, you’re too old.” (No, what it means is that my hearing has not been impaired yet, while you are probably well on your way to a significant hearing loss.) “Having a beer or two improves my driving reflexes.” (Yeah. Right.) “It’s only wrong if I get caught.” (Remind me to never leave any of my valuables lying about around you.) Another one that irritates me: “Well, I’m from North Hooterville/West Hooterville/Upper Outer Hooterville” (or other obscure regional and supposedly “snobby” or “cool” neighborhood). I don’t care and am not impressed. I am not terribly impressed by people from Beverly Hills (merely because they are from Beverly Hills), so why would I be impressed by someone from West Upper Outer Hooterville, for crying out loud? ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/56 "2003-11-07T23:19:47Z")
Oooh. Oooh. So many here to pick from! The “@ [AOL.com](http://AOL.com)” address–I hadn’t thought of that, but it’s true–when someone has an AOL email address, in the back of my mind I wonder, “Clueless newbie?” (But I do realize that a lot of people keep an AOL email address for convenience’s sake and nothing more…) Ditto on the racist, homophobic comments. My respect-o-meter goes down a notch with any mention or cite of “Yesterday on Dr. Phil’s show…” **Kizarvexius** listed quite a few that I also share–especially “He drives _that_? What a loser!” (Who gives a shit about what car someone drives?) “If it’s too loud, you’re too old.” (No, what it means is that my hearing has not been impaired yet, while you are probably well on your way to a significant hearing loss.) “Having a beer or two improves my driving reflexes.” (Yeah. Right.) “It’s only wrong if I get caught.” (Remind me to never leave any of my valuables lying about around you.) Another one that irritates me: “Well, I’m from North Hooterville/West Hooterville/Upper Outer Hooterville” (or other obscure regional and supposedly “snobby” or “cool” neighborhood). I don’t care and am not impressed. I am not terribly impressed by people from Beverly Hills (merely because they are from Beverly Hills), so why would I be impressed by someone from West Upper Outer Hooterville, for crying out loud? ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/57 "2003-11-07T23:32:11Z")
I went acrossed the street. Or acrost. Jerry Steinfeld (for Jerry Seinfeld)… my brother’s bad habit. Using big words in an attempt to sound smart, but misusing AND mispronouncing them. ---
**Author:** ![Psifireus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Psifireus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psifireus)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/58 "2003-11-08T00:11:02Z")
I’m with you **belladonna** on the _retard_ remarks and I can’t respect someone who always laughs at or makes fun of other’s misfortune, either. But my number one, all time _guaranteed to make me cringe everytime_ remark is, "She is _so_ skinny, she makes me sick! She is _too_ skinny. " Or, the more direct, and just as tacky, “I hate you…you are so skinny!” Usually followed by something like, “You need to _eat_ something, girl, do you just _never_ eat, or what? How can you _be_so skinny?” I would never be so rude as to whisper to my friends, “She is _so_ fat, she makes me sick! She is _too_ fat!” Nor would I walk up to an overweight person and exclaim, “You need to quit eating, do you just eat _all_ the time or what? How can you _be_ so fat?” For me, these kind of judgments garner an almost instant loss of respect. ---
**Author:** ![Psifireus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Psifireus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psifireus)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/59 "2003-11-08T00:24:16Z")
And, people who continually tell these blatant lies and expect you to believe them. Whether they’re just bragging or trying to conceal something, whatever the motivation, I have no respect for that. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755/60 "2003-11-08T01:07:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*PreSchool teachers and their " Gosh, gee whiz" detachment with the rest of the world. It is scary. More so than clowns, creepy janitors and the guy with tinfoil on his head. \*\* Hmmm. I’m trying to figure this one out. I’m a preschool teacher, but I don’t have a “Gosh, gee whiz” detachment from the rest of the world. At least I hope I don’t. Can you explain a little more? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-things-can-a-person-say-to-you-to-make-you-lose-respect-instantly/211755.md?page=4)