# What time should a 15 year old be out of bed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 24, 2020, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202 "2020-03-24T22:33:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/101 "2020-03-25T21:59:55Z")
10 hours a night is completely normal (required) for a teen. To regulate the hours your teen sleeps, you need to regulate the temperature, light, and exercise. People sleep when it is cold, and start to wake up when it starts to get warm. They regulate their activity by how bright it is. And your body rhythms, independent of temperature and light, sync to your physical activity. Wake-Activity-Rhythm then gives you Wake-Activity-Rhythm. Merely saying things to your teen just make you an asshole. If you want your teen to be a member of the family, matching your family rhythms, then you are going to have to regulate the room temperature, light and early morning sport/exercise/lawn-mowing to their needs. Just doing one without the others also makes you an asshole: when your teen gets up, there has to be physical activity. Making them do physical activity in the bright light when they aren’t awake also sucks. If you want something, you have to get all three lined up. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/102 "2020-03-25T22:08:31Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > I don’t get all this resistance to being up in the morning Resistance? _What_ resistance? Nobody’s saying being a morning person is a bad thing. Like you, > [@bengangmo](#): > > I’ve always been a morning person , a phrase that’s literally become my [theme song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jcn7hFgveQI) ever since the Firebug’s school performed the musical version of _Shrek_. But unlike you, I don’t expect the rest of the world to conform with my love of the early hours. Now that school’s out for the time being, the Firebug’s been sleeping 'til noon, and I really have no problem with that. Why should I? He doesn’t _need_ to be up earlier. > [@](#): > > Is it really so unreasonable to expect that she’s up sometime around 9am? It **is** unreasonable, in the quite literal sense that you have no **reason** for your expectation. > [@](#): > > As to why - because it’s daytime, isn’t that reason enough? Can’t see why. ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/103 "2020-03-25T22:44:49Z")
Of course I was brought into this thread. Because in some of these commenters’ opinions, drugs equals an erratic sleep schedule. ������ FWIW, I wouldn’t worry about kids sleeping in… ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/104 "2020-03-25T23:45:42Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > From the OP: Yes, and I wondered how the OP knew that curtains were closed and a person was asleep in a room that had the door closed. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/105 "2020-03-26T00:45:43Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > Next up - it affects her mother, having one of the rooms closed > It affects me - during the sunshine hours having someone asleep in a darkened room affects how I feel. > [@Ruken](#): > > Sounds like the kid is fine, but mom and dad should talk to a doc about their own issues. This. Also: > [@](#): > > Unless there is a very good reason (nightshift or sickness) I very much associate this sort of sleep pattern with unproductive habits as well as slovenliness - it’s not something that I will allow to be propagated. So you’re going to be intolerant of your daughter’s behavior on the basis of irrational prejudices. You’re supposed to value your child more than you value your irrational prejudices, not the other way around. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/106 "2020-03-26T00:58:55Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > weelllll… > I did tell her WHO to buy from, and gave her his number if she wants to buy… > I don’t smoke myself, and don’t want her smoking, but if she does, I want her to buy from someone that I trust to be supplying her with the right stuff (this guy also deals other things) Ok did anyone else miss this post doesn’t seem to jibe with the attitude of the rest of the OP unless I got whooshed. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/107 "2020-03-26T01:09:05Z")
> [@pool](#): > > Ok did anyone else miss this post doesn’t seem to jibe with the attitude of the rest of the OP unless I got whooshed. I saw that. I just figured the OP wanted his daughter to be up early so she can get with an approved illegal drug seller. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/108 "2020-03-26T01:30:55Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > its to be with the rest of the family, to help with the housework when the housework is being done, In addition to everything about varying natural sleep cycles, this: > [@OleOneEye](#): > > During normal times, people don’t spend every waking minute together, like they’re being forced to do now. Maybe a different sleep schedule is her only reprieve! You’ve got the whole family cooped up in the house together. That’s not a normal situation. Insisting that everyone be awake at the same time specifically so everyone can be together every minute might well be a really, really bad idea. Your basic family relationships may be healthy and everybody may like each other fine, but if people who need some space aren’t allowed to get it, that may cease to be true very quickly. And I still haven’t seen any explanation either of why the housework has to be done specifically in the middle of the day, or how it gets done at those hours in normal times when she’s at school. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/109 "2020-03-26T05:45:41Z")
I understand the OP. I have a 16 year old. My thought is that it is my idea to teach a child the “right” way to do things. Early to bed, early to rise. Eat healthy meals, no snacking between meals, and limit food intake at night. Get exercise and shower and dress every day (no sitting around in PJs even if it is a day off). When she gets older at least she will have learned the basics from me. When she becomes an adult if she wants to party all night and sleep all day and can still keep a job, then that is her life to live. My job now is to instill good habits in her that she can fall back on later in life if she chooses. ---
**Author:** ![Saturn\_Dreams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Saturn\_Dreams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saturn_Dreams)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/110 "2020-03-26T06:20:38Z")
Interesting dilemma. On one hand I can understand trying to instill a “proper” lifestyle routine, and on the other, the importance of letting teenagers be independent and have them understand consequences on their own terms. Personally, I wouldn’t set some arbitrary time they have to wake up. I would discuss with them what is expected of them in terms of being a contributing member to the household and come to an agreement (with their input) as to when their chores need to be completed by. After that, let them manage their own schedule and if they can’t stick to the agreement, address that specific issue with appropriate punishment and let them figure out what they need to do. I wouldn’t want my kid sleeping in until close to noon every day either, but as long as they respect the rules of the household and understand everyone makes sacrifices and compromises to keep harmony, micromanaging when they go to sleep and when they wake up is not the best usage of currency as a parent, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Sponge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dark_sponge/32/121_2.png) [@Dark\_Sponge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Sponge)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/111 "2020-03-26T18:18:38Z")
I’ve heard of studies done showing that in teen years kids’ sleep schedules naturally shift later and some have proposed making high school start later. But since this is in IMHO I’ll give you my opinion: I think it’s fine. I was a night-owl teen who ended up becoming a productive member of society. My early-rising parents did not help me by trying to force me to get up earlier but it did make our relationship worse at the time. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/112 "2020-03-26T18:22:27Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > (no sitting around in PJs even if it is a day off). What? LOL. That’s kind of been our lifestyle here, adults & kids and all, the past week. The best days are days when I don’t have to get into pants or change! ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/113 "2020-03-26T18:40:37Z")
Several posts and it’s pretty clear the OP isn’t really looking for answers. The OP is looking for validation, not answers, and the thread is not providing it. The board is pretty good at providing opinions and answers but not always great at validation, especially when that validation doesn’t line up firmly behind facts and research. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/114 "2020-03-26T19:09:47Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > Several posts and it’s pretty clear the OP isn’t really looking for answers. The OP is looking for validation, not answers, and the thread is not providing it. > > The board is pretty good at providing opinions and answers but not always great at validation, especially when that validation doesn’t line up firmly behind facts and research. While I think the “waking up early” stuff is a bunch of bullshit…who the eff cares … and I said so in my first post, I do think the OP has a valid gripe with chores not being done. I’d be pissed about that. Fine. Sleep in until the afternoon for all I care. But get those chores done. That I would be annoyed at. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/115 "2020-03-26T19:14:39Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > said so in my first post, I do think the OP has a valid gripe with chores not being done. Sure, then the complaint should be about the chores, not the sleep schedule. The chores are a valid issue but their use in this thread is to get posters onboard with the OPs complaints about the sleep schedule, not as a separate issue to also be resolved. The thread title isn’t “The Chores aren’t getting done, Sleep Schedule to Blame?”, after all. Like I said, validation, not opinion/answers. ---
**Author:** ![Powers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Powers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Powers)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/116 "2020-03-26T19:29:09Z")
I dunno, I can imagine it’s annoying to have one member of the household missing from morning activities. It’s good for families to eat together, for instance. That doesn’t just mean dinner. But it’s true, too, that teens are wired to go to bed late and get up late. My suggestion would be to sit the teen down and say “Look, chores aren’t getting done, and we miss seeing you in the mornings when we all get ready and plan the day. And if you sleep too late, it disrupts everyone else’s schedule. How can we resolve this while still making sure you get enough sleep?” Powers &8^] ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/117 "2020-03-26T20:37:18Z")
You gotta pick your battles with teenagers. If this is the one you want to pick, it’s the one you pick. You’ll lose it, but that will be a good learning experience for both of you. The smart thing to do is to establish “quiet hours” in the house. 10pm-8am? And chores are done before quiet hours. Undone chores have consequences. Make that battle about the chores and the consequences. Don’t let it be a back-door to the wake-up time battle, because you will, again, lose that one. Very simple: this is what you will get done. How and when, other than the quiet hours, is up to you. This is what happens if you don’t get it done. “But I was too tired”. “We had that conversation, not having it again. You are old and smart enough to figure it out”. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/118 "2020-03-26T20:57:26Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > I understand the OP. I have a 16 year old. My thought is that it is my idea to teach a child the “right” way to do things. Early to bed, early to rise. Eat healthy meals, no snacking between meals, and limit food intake at night. Get exercise and shower and dress every day (no sitting around in PJs even if it is a day off). > > When she gets older at least she will have learned the basics from me. When she becomes an adult if she wants to party all night and sleep all day and can still keep a job, then that is her life to live. My job now is to instill good habits in her that she can fall back on later in life if she chooses. Problem is, some of those “right ways” are backed by data, some not. So yes, encouraging healthy eating habits and hygiene is a good plan, but for teens, going to bed early and getting up early as “right” is actually contradicted by science on the teen age circadian rhythm, and what to wear on a day off does not have a clear right vs wrong. Your house, your rules, but don’t imagine there is some list of right behaviors and wrong behaviors that is absolute. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/119 "2020-03-26T21:11:04Z")
I thought of this thread when I saw my highly accomplished colleague, a driven professional, post on Facebook how grateful she was that her growing teen could finally get all the sleep they wanted. Not everyone feels the same as the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202/120 "2020-03-27T04:24:26Z")
Is she on any kind of medication that might mess up her sleeping patterns? > [@kanicbird](#): > > To me 11:15 would be unreasonable, and I would consider removing her curtains from her room and explain how her actions affect others. Don’t you think that’s a little extreme? Would YOU want to get dressed with the curtains wide open? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-should-a-15-year-old-be-out-of-bed/850202.md?page=7)