# What time traveling pranks would you pull? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 12, 2013, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652 "2013-09-12T13:11:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/1 "2013-09-12T13:11:30Z")
Let’s say that you have a time machine, but rather than use it to go kill Hitler, or buy Microsoft stock in the 80s, you only want to use it to pull pranks. What would you do? Me? I’d go back in time to the premiere of _Gone With the Wind_ and swap out the reels with _Django Unchained_, then when it was over and everyone was sitting there is stunned silence, I’d turn to Vivien Leigh and say, “so, what’d you think?” You? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/2 "2013-09-12T13:16:21Z")
Swap out the bullets in Aaron Burr’s gun with blanks. Hilarity ensues. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/3 "2013-09-12T13:45:45Z")
Go back to November 22 1963, shoot JFK and frame some patsy for it. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/4 "2013-09-12T14:03:32Z")
Carve “e=mc2” into one of the stones of Stonehenge. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/5 "2013-09-12T14:07:26Z")
Nuremberg Rally. Custard Pie. Sneak into the Apollo 11 capsule. Swap out the Stars and Stripes for a Union Jack ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/6 "2013-09-12T14:14:02Z")
I’m about to head back to have the Brits lose to George Washington. LOL. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/7 "2013-09-12T14:28:45Z")
Use the Crank Prank TimePhone to call Alexander Graham Bell. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/8 "2013-09-12T14:37:22Z")
Swap out J.W. Boothe’s gun with a squirtgun. Copyright the term “Apple Computers”, just to see what other fruit would be picked instead. Find out where they buried Jimmy Hoffa, then stick him in Grant’s Tomb. Go back and fill “[Al Capone’s Vault](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mystery_of_Al_Capone%27s_Vault)” with nude photos of Geraldo Rivera. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/9 "2013-09-12T15:19:06Z")
Yeah, go back to the Nuremberg rallies and during one of Hitler’s dramatic pauses, yell “I call bullshit!” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/10 "2013-09-12T15:21:41Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Yeah, go back to the Nuremberg rallies and during one of Hitler’s dramatic pauses, yell “I call bullshit!” That would make a great practical joke…on you. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/11 "2013-09-12T15:31:40Z")
Spray the Gordian Knot with liquid kevlar. take that Mr. Alexander Not As Great As You Thought. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/12 "2013-09-12T16:02:35Z")
Take a portable sound system and various lighting and smoke effects back to the 16th century. Install the speakers and effects out of sight in the Sistine Chapel around the newly-painted “The Last Judgment” by Michaelangelo. Wait until Cardinal Carafa comes in on his own, then crank up the effects while blasting Verdi’s “Die Irae” at top volume. Watch him literally crap himself. That’ll teach him to pick on Michaelangelo. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/13 "2013-09-12T16:10:57Z")
Nail all the windows shut at the Texas Book Depository on November 21, 1963. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/14 "2013-09-12T16:12:07Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Go back to November 22 1963, shoot JFK and frame some patsy for it. You know those Lee Harvey Oswald Band t-shirts? ([Example](http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/oswald-band-t-shirt).) I’d go back to that moment, and put those instruments in place, removing Ruby’s gun in the nick of time, of course. Nobody would get the joke except me, but I’d think it was hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/15 "2013-09-12T16:15:51Z")
Introduce Western diseases to the Americas a solid 1000 years before Columbus – which would give them enough time for a population rebound – thus providing them with a fighting chance. Leave a toilet at the geographic South Pole on 12/13/11. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/16 "2013-09-12T16:24:21Z")
Also, I’d go forward in time to December 31, 2100, and plant holographic projectors in a bunch of scenic places, scheduled to go off at midnight, that would show the image of a dude known as CATS, who would say “How are you gentlemen?” and then go into the rest of his AYB spiel. Again, nobody would get the joke, which would be completely forgotten by then, but I’d think it was a riot. Maybe I’d build in the sound of an explosion to go off at midnight, with just enough of a pause so that when someone asked what happened, I could say, “Somebody set up us the bomb,” and then add, “We get signal,” just before CATS appears. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/17 "2013-09-12T16:24:45Z")
This is not exactly what the OP is asking for but it reminded me of this excellent short bit on time travel. Well worth a read. Here is a little bit of it: > [@](#): > > 11/21/2104 > > _At 02:21:30, SneakyPete wrote:_ > Vienna, 1907: after numerous attempts, have infiltrated the Academy of Fine Arts and facilitated Adolf Hitler’s admission to that institution. Goodbye, Hitler the dictator; hello, Hitler the modestly successful landscape artist! Brought back a few of his paintings as well, any buyers? > > _At 02:29:17, SilverFox316 wrote:_ > All right; that’s it. Having just returned from 1907 Vienna where I secured the expulsion of Hitler from the Academy by means of an elaborate prank involving the Prefect, a goat, and a substantial quantity of olive oil, I now turn my attention to our newer brethren, who, despite rules to the contrary, seem to have no intention of reading Bulletin 1147 (nor its Addendum, Alternate Means of Subverting the Hitlerian Destiny, and here I’m looking at you, SneakyPete). Permit me to sum it up and save you the trouble: no Hitler means no Third Reich, no World War II, no rocketry programs, no electronics, no computers, no time travel. Get the picture? > > _At 02:29:49, SilverFox316 wrote:_ > PS to SneakyPete: your Hitler paintings aren’t worth anything, schmuck, since you probably brought them directly here from 1907, which means the paint’s still fresh. Freaking n00b. > > _At 07:55:03, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote:_ > Amen, SilverFox316. Although, point of order, issues relating to early 1900s Vienna should really go in that forum, not here. This has been a recurring problem on this forum. > > SOURCE: [http://www.tor.com/stories/2011/08/wikihistory](http://www.tor.com/stories/2011/08/wikihistory) Also, an XKCD: [Kill Hitler](http://xkcd.com/1063/) ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/18 "2013-09-12T16:28:48Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Leave a toilet at the geographic South Pole on 12/13/11. I know someone who was working there on 12/13/11. I don’t remember him mentioning any shortage of toilets. Oh wait, you mean **19** 11. Personally, I’d go for a big banner saying, “Welcome, polar explorers!” though I might change that to “Nyah, nyah, I was here first! - Roald” between the time Amundsen’s party left and when Scott’s party arrived. ETA: This would work on a bunch of explorers from Christopher Columbus to Edmund Hillary. And Neil Armstrong, if the time machine could move that far in space as well. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/19 "2013-09-12T16:34:59Z")
Anne Boleyn. Rubber word. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652/20 "2013-09-12T16:39:19Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Oh wait, you mean **19** 11. Personally, I’d go for a big banner saying, “Welcome, polar explorers!” though I might change that to “Nyah, nyah, I was here first! - Roald” between the time Amundsen’s party left and when Scott’s party arrived. I’d just go with “First!” and then also get credit for starting that whole thing. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-time-traveling-pranks-would-you-pull/668652.md?page=2)