# What tired, cliched jokes never get old for you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 2008, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634 "2008-12-10T23:35:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/41 "2008-12-11T04:36:12Z")
Pull my finger. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/42 "2008-12-11T04:47:01Z")
When anyone asks me to “make up” something i.e. a bed, a batch of noodles, etc. : “why make it up when you can tell the truth?” Upon leaving: “don’t be square, see ya around!” “If your nose runs and your feet smell, you’re upsidedown”. “Why wash your hair with shampoo when you could use realpoo instead? Because then you’d have a doo-doo 'do.” ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/43 "2008-12-11T05:11:45Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Descartes walks into a bar and seats himself at a table. The waitress comes over and asks him “would you like the special today?” Descartes says “Oh, I think not,” and disappears. > > It takes me a number of minutes to compose myself whenever I tell this. I’m giggling now. I’m giggling, too. Partly because I love that joke, partly because I think it’s so silly that I love that joke, and partly because you love that joke. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/44 "2008-12-11T05:20:56Z")
“Well, at least we didn’t get fired.” “You’re right, that’s the least.” ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/45 "2008-12-11T05:54:54Z")
“That’s what she said” and “The terrorists have already won” never get old for me, mainly because they are so versatile in application. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/46 "2008-12-11T06:03:55Z")
Train of thought derailed, hundreds injured. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/47 "2008-12-11T06:09:03Z")
When someone asks, “Did you get a haircut?” And I reply, “No, I got them all cut.” ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/48 "2008-12-11T07:02:03Z")
Every joke ever made on “Get Smart” ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/49 "2008-12-11T07:07:50Z")
Me: “Pete and Repeat climb up a tree. Pete falls out. Who was left?” Them: “Repeat.” Me: “Pete and Repeat climb up a tree. Pete falls out. Who was left?” Them: “Repeat!” Me: “Pete and Repeat climb up a tree. Pete falls out. Who was left?” Them: “Repeat!!” Me: “Pete and Repeat climb up a tree…” [continues _ad infinitum_ until the person walks away or hits me in the face.] ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/50 "2008-12-11T13:47:20Z")
> [@MizTina](#): > > And any, I repeat, any fart jokes. Must be some kind of kink in my chain, but fart jokes set me off. And God forbid you should fart anywhere near me, I’ll be strangling with laughter. And it lasts a very, very long time. Especially if the dog does it. Sometimes, in the middle of the night when my husband and I are lying in bed, he’ll cut a fart. I control myself, because it was just a funny little noise, we’re all adults here right? I lie there concentrating on being mature, thinking about work or taxes or something, but eventually I remember the fart and the bed shakes with my silent laughter. Then he wakes up and wants to know what’s going on and what am I supposed to say? “That fart you cut twenty minutes ago”? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/51 "2008-12-11T13:56:14Z")
Guy says to me “look at that building”. “That’s not a building, that’s a cloud.” Guy says “down a bit”. (That cracks me up.) What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. What’s brown and sticky? A stick. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/52 "2008-12-11T13:58:08Z")
Duck goes into drug store. I want to buy a chapstick. OK will that be cash or charge. Neither one, just put it on my bill. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/53 "2008-12-11T14:05:54Z")
I have also been annoying one of my coworkers with the following: “Did you research those suppliers? Which one did you decide on?” - “YouDoo”. “No, you did the research not me… What are they called again?” - “YouDoo.” “Don’t tell me what to do. I want _you_ to call them.” - “YouDoo?” “No, _you_ do.” - “Jiiiiiiiiim!!!” Etc. Hahahaha. I’m such a cool manager. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/54 "2008-12-11T14:12:01Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > _"Chili today, hot tamale!!!_" Weather report: fair today. Circus tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/55 "2008-12-11T14:29:32Z")
> [@chacoguy420](#): > > Well, maybe you’d be happier driving the WHAAAAmbulance… I love to pull that one when I’m at the rescue station. Oddly enough, it’s usually a whoosh. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/56 "2008-12-11T14:58:46Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Just thought of another old standby: > > When someone asks me “What’s new?”, I’ll reply, “The past tense of snow.” Me: There was a whole lot of snew in that. Them: What’s snew? Me. Not much, what’s snew with you? Me: I was out the other day, and I saw the biggest henway I ever saw! Them: What’s a henway? Me: About three or four pounds. And the classic: Me: I’m starving. Helen: I’m Helen. Me: I’d rather be starving. ---
**Author:** ![Arglefraster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@Arglefraster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arglefraster)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/57 "2008-12-11T15:01:34Z")
> [@SurrenderDorothy](#): > > (mention of any random thing) > YOU’RE a (random thing) > YOUR MOM’S a (random thing) > YOUR DOG’S a… etc. etc. I love using “you’re mom” when it doesn’t make any sense. The less sense, the better. Friend: I like pancakes. Me: Just like your mom! Friend: 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Karyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/fbc32d/32.png) [@Karyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karyn)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/58 "2008-12-11T15:05:30Z")
I still laugh in a mean sort of way when obnoxious people fall for ‘no soap radio’. ---
**Author:** ![LionelHutz405](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lionelhutz405/32/536_2.png) [@LionelHutz405](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LionelHutz405)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/59 "2008-12-11T15:16:45Z")
Anytime some one uses the word ‘surely’, you must respond with ‘Don’t call me Shirley’. ---
**Author:** ![Sinaijon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Sinaijon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinaijon)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/60 "2008-12-11T15:52:06Z")
> [@MizTina](#): > > God forbid you should fart anywhere near me, I’ll be strangling with laughter. And it lasts a very, very long time. If I fart anywhere near you, it won’t be laughter that’s strangling you. And it lasts a very, very long time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634.md?page=4)