# What tired, cliched jokes never get old for you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 2008, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634 "2008-12-10T23:35:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Dob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Dob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dob)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/81 "2008-12-11T21:20:15Z")
“I’m serious” or anything that starts with “I’m…” followed by a “Hi Serious, im Dob” ---
**Author:** ![Tool\_of\_the\_Conspiracy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tool\_of\_the\_Conspiracy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tool_of_the_Conspiracy)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/82 "2008-12-11T21:36:56Z")
> [@ThePylon](#): > > Daughter: “Daddy, I’m hungry” > Me: “Hi, hungry, I’m Daddy” > > … now just ticks them (3 and 5) off. I still giggle. Doesn’t help. When one of my girls yells “Mommy?” across the house, I invariably respond “No, I’m _Daddy_. I’m the one with the beard.” ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/83 "2008-12-11T21:42:46Z")
“What time is it?” “Time for you to get a watch!” * * * “Did you hear about those new corduroy pillows? They’re really making headlines!” * * * “Now why don’t you make like a tree…and get out of here.” ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/84 "2008-12-11T21:47:04Z")
Anyone says to me “How much [stuff] do you want?” hears “Oh, better get me a lotta [stuff]. A whooooole lotta [stuff.]” Then I laugh maniacally. Pete Puma will never stop being funny. I got to say it a few days ago, in fact, while the two of us were making soup. Made my evening. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/85 "2008-12-11T21:52:22Z")
> [@Cazzle](#): > > My brother: Make me a coffee > Me: (waving imaginary wand) Brrrring! You’re a coffee! Old bar joke: “I’m too drunk to drive home. Call me a cab!” “OK. You’re a cab.” “My mother made me a homosexual.” “If I gave her the cloth, would she make me one, too?” ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/86 "2008-12-11T21:54:53Z")
Knock knock. Who’s there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald m’gum! :D:p:D:p:D _Nyuck nyuck nyuck._ Love it every time. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/87 "2008-12-11T22:28:13Z")
Walking into a place of business where you are surrounded by the same thing and asking if they sell it. Walk into TV mart and when asked “Can I help you” asking “Do you sell TV’S?” Never gets old…always funny 🙂 I’m sure my wife and daughter would agree. Or related, walking into a store like “Just Silver” and ask to see gold necklaces. Like I said…always funny…never gets old. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/88 "2008-12-11T22:33:44Z")
Do you need a hand? Yes ::clap clap clap cracks me up every time. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/89 "2008-12-11T22:36:49Z")
> [@Simmerdown](#): > > Zer vere zwei peanuts valking down ze strasse. One was a salted… > > …peanut. Yes! The spouse loves to tell this one, and it always makes me chuckle. I also like “Time’s fun when you’re having flies!” and…(for you WoW fans out there): An orc walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. Bartender: Where’d you get that? Parrot: Durotar. They got 'em all over the place. 🙂 and this one, also from WoW: “So, I have this idea for a great movie. It’s about two gnomes who find a bracelet of power, and they have to take it to the Burning Steppes and cast it into the Cauldron. They form the Brotherhood of the Bracelet. Along the way they’re trailed by a murloc named Gottom, who’s obsessed with the bracelet, and nine bracelet bogeymen. It could be a three-parter, called ‘Ruler of the Bracelet’. The first part would be called ‘The Brotherhood of the Bracelet’, followed by ‘A Couple of Towers’, with the climactic ending called ‘Hey, the King’s Back!’” (all it takes now is for me or the spouse to say “Hey! The King’s back!” to make us both giggle) ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/90 "2008-12-11T23:00:25Z")
The one that is always used in our office, and has for years, was one of the “your mother” lines. “Dude, you’re such a _blank_” “You’re Mother’s a _blank_” And so on for just about any situation. And I mean _any_. It got to the point that it was being used for situations where no insult was originally intended. “Dude! Great job on that liquid cooling system!” “You’re mother’s a liquid cooling system.” ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/91 "2008-12-11T23:05:34Z")
> [@winterhawk11](#): > > An orc walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. > Bartender: Where’d you get that? > Parrot: Durotar. They got 'em all over the place. 🙂 Heh, reminds me of another stupid joke : Two eggs are on a frying pan. First egg says to the other : “It’s getting really hot in here, don’t you think ?”. Second egg replies : “OMG ! A talking egg !” What can I say ? I like metajokes. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/92 "2008-12-11T23:10:53Z")
Is that what you kids are calling it these days? ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/93 "2008-12-11T23:11:17Z")
“You’re a kitty!” said to greet any cat (from xkcd) My favorite mixed metaphors are “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it” and “That train has sailed.” ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/94 "2008-12-11T23:14:06Z")
Q. Why did the jelly roll? A. Because it saw the apple turnover! 😃 Gets me every time! ---
**Author:** ![mike\_ahndembroak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mike\_ahndembroak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mike_ahndembroak)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/95 "2008-12-11T23:47:47Z")
Anytime I pass a field with round bales of hay I would say I thought they outlawed those, the cows weren’t getting a square meal ---
**Author:** ![Henrichek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5daacb/32.png) [@Henrichek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Henrichek)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/96 "2008-12-12T00:16:01Z")
> [@Taenia\_spp](#): > > Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput. Ha.. Haha.. Hahahahaha… _dies_ ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/97 "2008-12-12T00:49:56Z")
Every now and then there are times when I say something that inadvertantly rhymes. I usually follow it with, “Ha! I’m a poet and I don’t realize it.” It’s just funnier to me when it _doesn’t_ rhyme. “You’re something else!” “What else am I?” “You’re such a card!” “I suppose that means I need to be dealt with.” Farts crack me up, too. One day, I stood next to my brother and cut a loud fart while clearing my throat to “cover” the sound. My brother responded by doing the same. For the rest of the day, we were doing that. Years later, I saw Family Guy do that same gag. Hilarious. One time when I was visiting home from college, I let one rip in the living room and my mom said, “If you’re going to do that, at least go into the bathroom!” About an hour later, I sprung up from my chair and ran to the bathroom. I farted as loud as I could _in the bathroom_. I could hear my brother laughing in the living room. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/98 "2008-12-12T00:52:29Z")
Jesus saves (and takes half damage.) or its variant : Jesus saves, passes to Moses, GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL ! ---
**Author:** ![Sigene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sigene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigene)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/99 "2008-12-12T01:56:55Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Sometimes, in the middle of the night when my husband and I are lying in bed, he’ll cut a fart. I control myself, because it was just a funny little noise, we’re all adults here right? I lie there concentrating on being mature, thinking about work or taxes or something, but eventually I remember the fart and the bed shakes with my silent laughter. Then he wakes up and wants to know what’s going on and what am I supposed to say? “That fart you cut twenty minutes ago”? Honey? is that you? When did you join the dope? ---
**Author:** ![Across](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Across](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Across)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634/100 "2008-12-12T02:42:26Z")
When something is described, responding with “Just how I like my coffee.” The more outlandish, the better. A: What’s like outside? B: Dark and cold. A: Just how I like my coffee. A: So how’d you like the movie? B: It was short, with lots of explosions. A: Just how I like my coffee A: Fixed the computer yet? B: It’s still in bits all over the table. A: Just how I like my coffee! It’s funnier for people that know me, cos I don’t drink coffee! For the 3 people out there not familiar with the antecedents of this, a hard-boiled detective novel cliché would go along the lines of “The dame was sweet and dark, just how I like my coffee.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-tired-cliched-jokes-never-get-old-for-you/476634.md?page=6)