# What to do instead of sucking a butt **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 13, 2019, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194 "2019-09-13T22:45:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2019, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/1 "2019-09-13T22:45:27Z")
I am one of those annoying part time smokers. Left to my own devices I wouldn’t bother with the fags, but if I’m hanging out with a smoker I’ll bum one, and keep up cigarette for cigarette until we move on to something else. Nicotine withdrawal is either not something I’ve had to deal with, or is masked by my normally grumpy demeanor, so that’s not a concern. But my Missus is a smoker, and we hang out at home after work. So between 6PM and like 11PM I end up several times a day on the back deck with her looking at the stars, listening to the neighborhood, giggling at stuff like a daft couple in love, or just bitching about our jobs that we both secretly adore. And I end up burning half a dozen cigarettes during that time. So here’s the conundrum. I still wanna hang out, I’m not concerned about managing withdrawals/cravings in front of an active smoker, but after 10+ years the smoking part has sort of become a habit and I’d like to quit. Any ideas what I can do with myself for the 10-45 minutes stretches we spend outside while she puffs her lungs out? My brother-in-law quit by just letting his wife go out and blaze up while he sat in front of the TV, but they’ve always been a bit cold to each other and that’s not how we roll. So, what do I do with my hands? I suppose I could take up knitting or something. (her quitting isn’t an option at this time) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2019, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/2 "2019-09-13T22:56:19Z")
Get some lemons. Slice them thinly. Put them in the fridge. When y’all go out grab a couple slices. Lick them, while she smokes. My Sister quit with lemon slices. She figured it out at restuarants. She would lick and suck the lemon wedge for her iced tea so they could sit longer in the restuarant after a meal. ---
**Author:** ![mjmlabs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mjmlabs/32/69_2.png) [@mjmlabs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mjmlabs)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2019, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/3 "2019-09-13T23:04:30Z")
Pickles are good, too, as are the clichéd carrot sticks. I went through a bunch of Atomic Fireballs when I quit, but I also gained 40 pounds, so maybe that wasn’t the best plan. If you’re a guitarist, or would like to become one, you can get a practice fretboard (NPI) for finger-exercising/callus-building. A friend of mine took up knitting when she quit, but that seems more of an inside activity. Whatever you settle on, best of luck, and stick with it! ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2019, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/4 "2019-09-13T23:05:21Z")
Do you need something to occupy your hands? How about a Rubik’s cube, or some sort of fidgety toy. Something to put in your mouth? Twizzlers, or a toothpick. ---
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2019, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/5 "2019-09-13T23:32:27Z")
Have you tried Atomic Fireballs? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2019, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/6 "2019-09-13T23:44:18Z")
Cinnamon toothpicks ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2019, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/7 "2019-09-13T23:48:06Z")
Cinnamon anything would definitely keep me busy retching over the rail. 😃 But I should avoid candy, I’ve been slowly shedding some weight since I started working from home a couple months ago (10 down, 40 to go!). But keep the ideas coming! ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2019, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/8 "2019-09-13T23:50:48Z")
Ah jeez. Not being a smoker, I thought this thread would somehow relate to poor Maggie’s thread. Ugh. I suck. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2019, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/9 "2019-09-14T00:13:45Z")
Think healthy food choices. Go toss a salad instead. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2019, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/10 "2019-09-14T00:18:09Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Think healthy food choices. Go toss a salad instead. Snerk! Applause. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2019, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/11 "2019-09-14T10:00:45Z")
This is not the thread I expected. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2019, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/12 "2019-09-14T14:29:12Z")
Bubble Gum? Vaping? Tuvan throat singing? Yodeling? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2019, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/13 "2019-09-14T15:22:55Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Any ideas what I can do with myself for the 10-45 minutes stretches we spend outside while she puffs her lungs out? Futz around on your phone? I don’t know whether that’s a serious suggestion or not. But it made me realize that the decline in cigarette smoking in the last couple of decades correlates with the rise in cell phones, and it made me wonder if there’s a connection: phones may be filling the void, giving people something to do with their hands while they sit/stand around. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2019, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/14 "2019-09-14T21:59:04Z")
> [@mjmlabs](#): > > A friend of mine took up knitting when she quit, but that seems more of an inside activity. Nah, knitting can be quite portable! I’m posting this while on the way to a “jazz club” (aka bar) where I’ll be knitting a sock while listening to (probably bad) poetry. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2019, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/15 "2019-09-15T00:22:20Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Futz around on your phone? > > I don’t know whether that’s a serious suggestion or not. But it made me realize that the decline in cigarette smoking in the last couple of decades correlates with the rise in cell phones, and it made me wonder if there’s a connection: phones may be filling the void, giving people something to do with their hands while they sit/stand around. In _Zero History_ William Gibson, always a keen observer of contemporary culture, noted that cellphones had replaced cigarettes as part of the “gestural language” of the street. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2019, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/16 "2019-09-15T00:23:27Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Futz around on your phone? > > I don’t know whether that’s a serious suggestion or not. But it made me realize that the decline in cigarette smoking in the last couple of decades correlates with the rise in cell phones, and it made me wonder if there’s a connection: phones may be filling the void, giving people something to do with their hands while they sit/stand around. In _Zero History_ William Gibson, always a keen observer of contemporary culture, noted that cellphones had taken the place of cigarettes in the “gestural language” of the street. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2019, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/17 "2019-09-15T00:26:48Z")
Snap pix of your sweetie smoking. Maybe not, might make her angry. Nix that. A stress ball might keep your hands busy. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2019, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/18 "2019-09-15T01:31:17Z")
In Soviet Russia, butt sucks you! Hope this helps. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2019, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-instead-of-sucking-a-butt/840194/19 "2019-09-15T02:01:07Z")
The ONLY part I miss about smoking is the communal experience. Especially when it’s with a SO.