# What to do \[seeking marital advice\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 1, 2015, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310 "2015-11-01T03:26:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Janelly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5e9695/32.png) [@Janelly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Janelly)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/1 "2015-11-01T03:26:09Z")
I’m 31 and my husband is 25. He is my first everything. He constantly says I’m not pleasing him. I give oral sex and even do anal. He says I’m boring and I take forever to give head. He wants to come in 5 minutes. What should I do. I don’t know anymore ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/2 "2015-11-01T03:33:21Z")
> [@Janelly](#): > > I’m 31 and my husband is 25. He is my first everything. He constantly says I’m not pleasing him. I give oral sex and even do anal. He says I’m boring and I take forever to give head. He wants to come in 5 minutes. What should I do. I don’t know anymore How old is this relationship? ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/3 "2015-11-01T03:45:52Z")
**Moderator Action** Welcome to the SDMB, **Janelly**. The General Questions forum is for questions with factual answers. Since this is more of an advice and opinion topic, it belongs in our IMHO forum. Moving thread from General Questions to In My Humble Opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/4 "2015-11-01T05:03:49Z")
Every woman’s dream man, one who comes in 5 minutes. :rolleyes: Dump the boy and find a man. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/5 "2015-11-01T05:09:58Z")
> [@Janelly](#): > > I’m 31 and my husband is 25. He is my first everything. He constantly says I’m not pleasing him. I give oral sex and even do anal. He says I’m boring and I take forever to give head. He wants to come in 5 minutes. What should I do. I don’t know anymore Clarify please. “He want’s to cum in five minutes” meaning he’s ready to cum in five minutes? Or he wants to cum in five minutes but it’s taking ten minutes to get him there? I’m thinking its the latter based on what you wrote. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/6 "2015-11-01T05:12:04Z")
I sincerely hope this is not a real question in 2015. Why did you get involved with this rude, crude self-centered little boy? Another vote for finding a man - a male who knows how to please a partner - or is at least eager to learn. ---
**Author:** ![up\_the\_junction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f1d935/32.png) [@up\_the\_junction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/up_the_junction)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/7 "2015-11-01T05:17:29Z")
Right off the bat - first sentence, you state ages. Nothing about the relationship, how long married, history, family, etc. But hey, we know you do anal. Hmmm. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/8 "2015-11-01T05:17:39Z")
I just want to know why they come HERE for Penthouse-type questions!! 😃 Oh, and to reply to the question, dump him at the nearest kerb. That’s what I tell EVERYONE who comes on a board with a relationship question! If you need to ask, you should piss them off… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/9 "2015-11-01T05:37:18Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > I just want to know why they come HERE for Penthouse-type questions!! 😃 > > Oh, and to reply to the question, dump him at the nearest kerb. That’s what I tell EVERYONE who comes on a board with a relationship question! If you need to ask, you should piss them off… > > 😉 Yeah I agree. So in that mode of thought, describe your methods of doing oral… slowly… ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/10 "2015-11-01T06:16:31Z")
Serious answer: talk to him. Try to work out an actual dialogue. Don’t leave your relationship in a state of “giving” and “taking” but of cooperation. Work together, in sex and in all else. Also, counseling is an option. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/11 "2015-11-01T08:33:18Z")
Does he ever ask you what you want? If not, point this out next time he complains. It will cause a shouting match, but that pretty much needs to happen. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/12 "2015-11-01T15:20:01Z")
Thread title edited to be more specific. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/13 "2015-11-01T17:32:18Z")
Men should be more concerned with their partner’s pleasure than their own. Marriage counseling? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/14 "2015-11-01T18:30:11Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > Men should be more concerned with their partner’s pleasure than their own. Why should that be? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/15 "2015-11-01T18:34:45Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > Men should be more concerned with their partner’s pleasure than their own. Both partners should do that to approximately the same extent, if at all. ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/16 "2015-11-01T18:35:19Z")
Give him the finger. /rorschach test ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/17 "2015-11-01T18:43:00Z")
She won’t be back, alas. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2015, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/18 "2015-11-02T10:10:30Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Why should that be? Because it’s a lot more fun that way! ---
**Author:** ![Snnipe\_70E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@Snnipe\_70E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snnipe_70E)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2015, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/19 "2015-11-02T17:17:29Z")
> [@Learjeff](#): > > Because it’s a lot more fun that way! Agreed ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2015, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310/20 "2015-11-02T21:01:24Z")
After the anal what do you do with the truffle butter? Maybe incorporate that into some foreplay. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-seeking-marital-advice/736310.md?page=2)