# What to do when your spouse does something nutty? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 26, 2013, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-does-something-nutty/677204 "2013-12-26T12:56:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-does-something-nutty/677204/1 "2013-12-26T12:56:53Z")
You know something nutty, not directed at you, where you have no opinion or stake aside from sleeping next to them. šŸ˜› Something where you donā€™t agree with them, donā€™t think it matters one bit, and are preemptively exhausted from the effort and time it is going to take up. They decide they are going to fight city hall, or change homeowner bylaws to allow neon penguins as a lawn ornament, whatever something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Clementine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8dc957/32.png) [@Clementine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clementine)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-does-something-nutty/677204/2 "2013-12-26T13:16:49Z")
Be as supportive as you can without necessarily encouraging the crazy, I guess. If itā€™s that important to your spouse, then you should show you care, even if you donā€™t agree. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-does-something-nutty/677204/3 "2013-12-26T13:25:57Z")
Smile and nod. She puts up with my stupid-assed shit; to humor her in one of her quioxitic episodes is the least I can do. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-does-something-nutty/677204/4 "2013-12-26T13:55:46Z")
Iā€™m sure that the sane and stolid group we know Dopers to be would never have spouses prone to nuttiness. (I mean, cā€™mon, in a household with a Doper in it, itā€™s an easy bet where the nuttiness will be coming from.) ---
**Author:** ![48Willys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/db5fbb/32.png) [@48Willys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/48Willys)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-does-something-nutty/677204/5 "2013-12-27T06:46:49Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > Iā€™m sure that the sane and stolid group we know Dopers to be would never have spouses prone to nuttiness. > > (I mean, cā€™mon, in a household with a Doper in it, itā€™s an easy bet where the nuttiness will be coming from.) This, Hey she puts up with way more then I do. I support her in the minor stuff. She supports me in my minor stuff. It is a partnership, so no big deal. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-does-something-nutty/677204/6 "2013-12-27T07:04:16Z")
It strongly depends on how much involvement they expect from me. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-does-something-nutty/677204/7 "2013-12-27T08:04:04Z")
Thatā€™s pretty much the definition of a spousal relationship, isnā€™t it? Putting up with each othersā€™ nuttiness without judgement. They put up with ours, so we put up with theirs. Whenever my GF dresses up our dog as a jack-o-lantern, a Santa Claus, or a Thanksgiving pilgrim, I just give him a sympathetic eye-roll implying, ā€œYeah, old buddy; I have to sleep with her too. Just grin and bear it.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Ducky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrs_ducky/32/6227_2.png) [@Mrs\_Ducky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Ducky)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-does-something-nutty/677204/8 "2013-12-27T11:47:06Z")
I usually just roll my eyes and say ā€œI take no responsibilityā€¦ā€ ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-does-something-nutty/677204/9 "2013-12-27T12:08:40Z")
I was divorced 25 years ago and I still cringed when I read your post. I somehow felt like I should have been more supportive about all these perceived threats and enemies. No advice from me. I tend to try and ignore, it doesnā€™t work. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-when-your-spouse-does-something-nutty/677204/10 "2013-12-27T15:29:14Z")
Be as supportive as you can BUT you still need to be honest about your position. Not quite the example youā€™re looking for but one Iā€™m willing to share is related to the current power outage. When the tempurature in the house started dropping and we started talking about going somewhere else to stay my husband was determined to stay at the house. I accepted that until we dropped to 10 degrees at which point we discussed why he wanted to stay (safety of the house, freezing pipes, intruding on someone elseā€™s christmas) and dealt with each one. If I had just taken him at his word the dogs, kid and I would have been safely at a friends house leaving him to shiver in the house by himself. Not a happy solution for any of us.