# What to do with lung cookies? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 26, 2004, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060 "2004-04-26T06:58:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/21 "2004-04-27T06:56:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Maybe I should just have a big party and invite all my friends to cough all over the paper. Wanna come? You shouldn’t mix adhesives like that. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/22 "2004-04-27T07:03:05Z")
> [@Starving Artist](#): > > So sorry for giving a shit about you! From your original post, you sounded like a fairly sweet, naive girl who could use a little motivation and not the leathered up old trailer park maven that you now appear to be. I would believe it would go without saying that an addict would have to struggle to quit. I did, 3 or 4 times a year for all but the first few years of the 21 years I smoked. But I finally did quit, fortunately for me. As for you, hack till you cough up your lungs up. I couldn’t give less of a shit. From her OP she also sounded like someone who wanted not to be told she needs to quit, as it’s not at all on-topic. Perhaps you should have respected that decision. Whether or not you used to smoke, it’s a hijack and it probably appears pretty condescending to her, so please knock it off, for her sake. She’s heard plenty about how bad smoking is and how much she needs to quit, including from people like you. She’ll stop when and if she pleases, and nobody is going to change that, including you and me. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/23 "2004-04-27T10:49:11Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > From her OP she also sounded like someone who wanted not to be told she needs to quit, as it’s not at all on-topic. What part of her OP is it that sounds like that? What part of my response sounds like I thought she wanted to be told to quit? > [@fetus](#): > > Perhaps you should have respected that decision. What decision? Cite? > [@fetus](#): > > Whether or not you used to smoke, it’s a hijack and it probably appears pretty condescending to her, so please knock it off, for her sake. I try to offer a gentle motivation to get someone who’s coughing up plem so much she has to go on a message board to ask for help dealing with, and she gets shitty about it. Her response was rude and uncalled for, especially toward a couple of people who were only trying to be helpful. Regarding the hijack, this thread is full of posts either not on topic or offering only jokes about it. Did those people get one of your chivalrous rebukes, or was it only me? (And I’m the condescending one?) :rolleyes: > [@fetus](#): > > She’s heard plenty about how bad smoking is and how much she needs to quit, including from people like you. And I’m supposed to know this…how? > [@fetus](#): > > She’ll stop when and if she pleases… I doubt it! If that were the case, I’m sure she would have stopped by now, given that she used the word “addict” in her snide response. > [@fetus](#): > > and nobody is going to change that, including you and me. So nice of you ride to her defense with your all knowing, compassionate, and amazingly insightful rebukes. Trust me…I no longer give the least little shit whether she changes it or not. She can hack till her lungs pop out of her mouth and turn inside out for all I care. ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/24 "2004-04-27T12:36:42Z")
> [@](#): > > So nice of you ride to her defense with your all knowing, compassionate, and amazingly insightful rebukes. Trust me…I no longer give the least little shit whether she changes it or not. She can hack till her lungs pop out of her mouth and turn inside out for all I care. Wow… someone needs a cigarette! 😃 :::holds envelope to forehead::: “Telemarketers, Born-again Christians, and Ex-Smokers!” /ed “Hahaha! Yes, sir!” :::opens envelope::: “Name three types of people who will try even harder to annoy you if you tell them you don’t want any!” ---
**Author:** ![mallocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f4b2a3/32.png) [@mallocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mallocks)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/25 "2004-04-27T13:56:53Z")
> [@Starving Artist](#): > > What part of her OP is it that sounds like that? Well, I gathered it from “I’m a smoker (yeah, whatever)” … to me this suggests that there’s a certain amount of animosity to people who might tell her of the joys of quitting. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/26 "2004-04-27T15:03:39Z")
> [@mallocks](#): > > Well, I gathered it from “I’m a smoker (yeah, whatever)” … to me this suggests that there’s a certain amount of animosity to people who might tell her of the joys of quitting. This just in … nicotine causes unclear writing! ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/27 "2004-04-27T18:57:54Z")
Dammit, I lost my steam. I had a response all typed out and then life took over and my post got munched. Let’s try again… Sheesh, people. Don’t take this thread so damn seriously. Maybe I should have posted a disclaimer on the OP. For those of you who aren’t up to speed, here it is: > [@](#): > > DISCLAIMER: > The topics of this thread are bodily functions and social graces. It’s intent is to be a humorous (albeit debateable, I’m sure) snapshot of my mundane experience regarding the above and an invitation to any dopers who want to share and/or comment on my social repugnancy and/or strange diet. The fact that I smoke is only an aspect of the matter at hand. Diatribes or advice on the evils of smoking are specifically off-topic and pointless. I’m sure anyone wishing to educate, lecture, worry to that effect, if necessary, can find the appropriate venue. Grab your sense of humor, your disgust, whatever and enjoy! That said, thank you, **fetus** , for your perceptive contribution. You hacked the words right outta my mouth! I’m willing to bet that I _won’t_ be eating those words, but ya just never know! 😉 > [@Starving Artist](#): > > > [@MarkyDeSade](#): > > > > I’m a smoker too and it seems like we’re a dying breed. > > Well, flamingbananas beat me to it, but this line is too good to pass up. Smokers are a dying breed two ways: One, people are wising up and not starting in the first place; Two, those who keep doing it most often shuffle off this mortal coil way too early. Um, correct me if I’m wrong, **MarkyDeSade** , but I think **Marky** ’s joke wooshed right over your head, **Starving Artist**. Which in itself is even funnier and therefore makes you worthy of teasing… BTW, didn’t want **SP2263** to think I was dissing him/her. Your one-liner actually made me laugh so hard it made quite the impression. And, **astro** , I forgot to add you to my Christmas list as well. Glad I could be of service! 😃 And as for you, **flamingbananas** , whether I am fairly sweet (usually, unless provoked) and naive (certainly but not now), was not an invitation to lecture me (see above disclaimer and **mallocks** post). I’m proud of you for quitting, but you’re clearly suffering from Ex-smoker Syndrome and you’re barking up the wrong tree here. I wasn’t asking for advice, you nitwit! Re-read the OP slower this time. And I’ve seen your brand of ‘gentle encouragement’ before and I’m not in the market for it. Further, you have no personal investment in my life and what I do with it (heck, I don’t even \*know \* you!), so your lecture–like many a Health Movie–holds no weight for me. Now that you’re mission to save me has been rebuffed, you’re inclined to let me go. Thank you. Lucky for us, you’re a quick learner. FTR, I hold no animosity towards you, your error in judgment notwithstanding. I’ve enjoyed your posts before, but consider yourself spanked on this one. Now, I’m going to further hijack my own damn thread to state in no uncertain terms: hey everybody, hijack away, IF (big IF) you can entertain us. I have no problem with that as I’ve found that often it’s the hijacks that add more interest to a thread than the on-topic stuff. Besides I’m a notorious hijacker, so all’s fair in love and war, as I see it. Oh, and fair being fair, if you hijack a thread to spout off drivel, you are fair game for snipers. P.S. **Spiff** , I went through about five ciggies to get through this post. Was it clear? It was probably better the first time around anyway _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/28 "2004-04-27T19:00:44Z")
> [@](#): > > The fact that I smoke is only an aspect of the matter at hand. heh heh. The best puns are always the unintentional ones… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/29 "2004-04-27T19:07:39Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > And as for you, **flamingbananas** … AACCKKK!!! I’m so sorry, **flamingbananas**. That whole friggin’ paragraph should have been directed at **Starving Artist**. My profuse apologies. Goddamn hamsters! You see what you made me do! May you run you’re fucking little legs off with my multiple posting, you little shits. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/30 "2004-04-27T19:16:04Z")
You owe me a new monitor as I just spewed vomit all over this one. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/31 "2004-04-27T19:20:18Z")
Actually, I’ve never heard “lung cookies” before. I have, however, heard them called “lungers”, “oysters” and the ever-popular “quivering green oyster” (my personal fave). 😃 –SSgtBaloo ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/32 "2004-04-27T19:36:48Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > AACCKKK!!! I’m so sorry, **flamingbananas**. That whole friggin’ paragraph should have been directed at **Starving Artist**. My profuse apologies. Ahhhhh! You are extremly lucky I read till the end of this thread, I was about to chew you out for calling me a smoker, and yelling at me about it. I never have smoked and I never will smoke. And I have asthma. I _already_ get these “lung cookies” from time to time, and I don’t really want anymore, along with stinky breath, and a more screwed up body then I already have. I am not trying to preach, or yell at you, but you really should quit. There are no benfits of smoking, so why do it? All you are going to get is a shorter life, and a wrinkley face. Ewwww. **flamingbananas**. fighting ignorance about smoking…one at a time. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/33 "2004-04-27T19:47:00Z")
Posted by **Cinnamon Girl** \* > [@](#): > > Gum, I’m a bit concerned about the efficacy of such a glue. How many years to you think it would last? Would I need some sort of special solvent if I wanted to change the paper later?\* Good question. We’d need to thoroughly mix the lung-cookies, or oysters, to get a smooth paste, ofcourse. As for a solvent; Why don’t we use the drool of **Starving Artist** and his like. I’m sure his drooling for a cigarette is enough for one room. 😃 Oh, and I’d love to come. Sadly I’ve stopped smoking about eight years ago [yeah, I wish I had saved the cookies], but I have plenty of “unhealthy” friends. heh. 😉 Why don’t I collect their cookies, put them in a touristy Delft Blue tin box, with windmills on the lid and come your way? I’d love to be with another “leathered up old trailer park maven”. Whatever the heck that is. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/34 "2004-04-27T20:32:27Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > lung cookies [BAND NAME!](http://www.nakedjainrecords.com/lc/home.html) Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/35 "2004-04-27T20:33:20Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > P.S. **Spiff** , I went through about five ciggies to get through this post. Was it clear? It was probably better the first time around anyway _sigh_ In retrospect, “obtuse” or “subtle” would have been better than “unclear.” I was just trying to bring a little levity to the thread. Didn’t mean to step on any toes. ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/36 "2004-04-27T20:48:54Z")
I guess I’m in the minority. I don’t smoke, but I do have to deal with phlegmy stuff in the morning. I have severe allergies. I figured everybody did. Now I feel like a freak. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/37 "2004-04-27T21:44:47Z")
Thank the magical sky pixie, someone finally spelled “phlegm” right. **myrnajean** , from what I understand, you’re kind of right - once you stop smoking is when your body goes into massive “get this shit out of me RIGHT NOW” mode and you cough and hack until it’s all out. Of course, I could be wrong. It’s happened before. ---
**Author:** ![mallocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f4b2a3/32.png) [@mallocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mallocks)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060/38 "2004-04-28T13:08:30Z")
> [@Spiff](#): > > In retrospect, “obtuse” or “subtle” would have been better than “unclear.” > > I was just trying to bring a little levity to the thread. Didn’t mean to step on any toes. Well, I didn’t object, I know my sentence structure can be horrendously obtuse and/or unclear. But just as a note, I’ve never smoked, so it’s not nicotine … I blame my English teacher 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-lung-cookies/242060.md?page=1)