# What to do with old love letters? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 22, 2007, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-old-love-letters/397032 "2007-03-22T16:17:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-old-love-letters/397032/41 "2010-05-14T05:20:23Z")
I concur with the “burn them” contingent. You really don’t want your SO getting the wrong idea, **MoodIndigo1** ’s post being exhibit A. You don’t need the letters to cherish your memory of your past love; you’ll still have those fond memories when those pieces of paper are gone. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-old-love-letters/397032/42 "2010-05-14T14:49:55Z")
> [@rivit](#): > > And if the wife finds out, I’ll just explain why they’re important to me. > > (and hope that she doesn’t hit me too hard 😉 ) Dude, you’re asking the wrong person the question in your OP. The fact that you haven’t told your wife about these letters and intend to hide them from her, send huge red flags up. Not that you have some continuing emotional relationship going on with your ex…but that you’re not open enough with your wife that you feel that you need to hide them. Do yourself a favor, and tell your wife that you came across these old letters and that you wanted her to know that your saving them for the timebeing, and hope that it doesn’t make her uncomfortable and reassure her as to why you are keeping them. Also LOL at all the people that see some historical value of saving letters that were written 11 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-old-love-letters/397032/43 "2010-05-14T14:52:21Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > Also LOL at all the people that see some historical value of saving letters that were written 11 years ago. They have huge historical significance… … they were among the last letters ever written. I don’t think letters even exist anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-old-love-letters/397032/44 "2010-05-14T14:55:17Z")
> [@MoodIndigo1](#): > > I found my husband’s love letters from his ex-- about a month after we were married. Reading her description of their relationship… I was about to quote some passages, and 16 years later, I still remember them exactly. That was very painful. > > I cried, I ranted, I raged, and burnt the letters. Then I went through his boxes of pictures and burnt all the pictures of them together. > > By the time he got home, I felt embarrassed at how I had reacted, yet I was still furious at him. He couldn’t figure out what had got me in such a terrible mood. I didn’t mention anything. > > A few weeks later, in the middle of dinner, through clenched teeth, I said to him: “You know, your love letters from X?” > “Oh, do I still have those?” > -“Not anymore. I burnt them.” > -“That’s fine.” > -“I burnt all the pictures I could find of you both.” > -“Fine with me, dear.” He went back to reading his paper. > > I had been going from shame to anger for about 2-3 weeks, and it was no big deal for him. > > Do you know, when I think of those letters, I still feel unsettled, I still wonder if I was just second best for him. Have you been to counseling over these emotional issues? It is not unreasonable that people have past relationships that don’t work out. And that in the midst of those relationships that everything is the best it ever could be. I hope that you have come to terms with your husbands past relationships. It sounds like he has. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-old-love-letters/397032/45 "2010-05-14T16:37:13Z")
Closing zombie thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-do-with-old-love-letters/397032.md?page=2)