# What to look for in a family therapist? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 10, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-look-for-in-a-family-therapist/618398 "2012-04-10T19:13:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-look-for-in-a-family-therapist/618398/41 "2012-04-20T03:52:18Z")
Yay! I hope you guys can work things out. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-look-for-in-a-family-therapist/618398/42 "2012-04-20T13:35:41Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > My husband and I are interested in seeing a family therapist, but we’re not quite sure what to look for since neither of us have ever sought therapy in the past, family or individual. My son (6) seems to be having some anger issues cropping up lately, has had a bit of trouble in school (following instructions, listening, completing his work, etc.) and my husband and I just don’t feel equipped to handle it, my husband especially. > [@overlyverbose](#): > > With respect to our son, he’s above grade level as far as achievement goes so I’m also a bit miffed with his teacher. Your son sounds just like my son, although a year younger. I just recently found a fantastic therapist to work with him, and us. The “him” part is because he does have some needs that we’re just not able to identify and I wanted a professional opinion on how best to help him. The “us” part is because no one’s behavior occurs in a vacuum. I know others have given an opinion on your husband getting some therapy, so I won’t address that. What our therapist does/is doing is working primarily with my son, but including the rest of us as needed. She met with me once to get the background (husband was supposed to go but we didn’t have anyone to watch the kids), then met with my son alone a few times. Then she had my husband and I come in alone for an update. 2 more sessions with just son, then we just this week had a session with all 4 of us (I have a daughter as well). The thing that **Dorothy** \* said about keeping things moving is very important. We briefly had my daughter seeing a counselor because she was having a lot of somatic complaints with no identifiable origin. I didn’t like that counselor because, in addition to being later _ **every single time** _, she didn’t seem to have any need to identify potential issues and start building strategies relatively quickly. I basically was paying a $25 copay for my daughter to plan the Ungame every other week. \*Good to see you, by the way! ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-look-for-in-a-family-therapist/618398/43 "2012-04-20T21:07:31Z")
Yay, I’m glad to hear you’ve found one you can work with. I wish you much success. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-look-for-in-a-family-therapist/618398/44 "2012-04-21T17:05:38Z")
Be prepared to change therapists if it feels weird after a few sessions. We’ve had a few fantastic therapists and a few really strange ones. After two or three sessions, if you feel like things aren’t clicking, find a new therapist. It’s not your fault if things don’t click. p.s. – Just saw you found someone you like. Good for you, and good luck! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-look-for-in-a-family-therapist/618398.md?page=2)