# What to say to those who pray for you? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 2, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091 "2003-09-02T06:30:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/21 "2003-09-02T12:37:03Z")
Well, it would depend on how it was said and who said it. If it was a little old woman who said it without rancor, I’d say “Thank you”. If it was someone looking down their nose at me, they’d probably get something like, “Thanks! Couldya pray for me to get laid too?”. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/22 "2003-09-02T12:54:57Z")
“I’ll pray for you.” “God loves you. But Jesus thinks you’re a jerk.” ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/23 "2003-09-02T13:04:09Z")
> [@](#): > > I feel it is more harmful when people ignore each other and fail to recognize that you are sharing this great earth with another human being. This behavior when pushed to the nth degree can cause street riots and the like which has been publicised often. Utter small town America-centric rubbish. Your cultural _mores_ are not universal. In South Korea for example, a country where I lived for 6 years, the cities are extremely crowded with very little elbow room on the subways and sidewalks, so the accepted mode of behavior is simply not to acknowledge that anybody is intruding on your personal space or bumping into you. If one is jostled while walking, one simply ignores it and goes on. > [@](#): > > As for foul language, polite society in this country requires that one refrain from eavesdropping on the conversations of strangers. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/24 "2003-09-02T13:05:22Z")
In your sweetest voice - “And I’ll pray that you get some help, too.” I have no problem with people praying for me, despite not being big on the intercessory God thing, if they aren’t insulting me at the same time. I had many people offer their prayers while we were struggling with infertility - and I always took them in the spirit they were intended - “I wish you the best and wish I could do something to help.” Praying may or may not be helpful, but it was well intended. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/25 "2003-09-02T13:08:53Z")
Did you ever think that the things you were saying (in public) were equally offensive to someone else’s ears? If you want to be spared hearing words that offend your delicate nature, spare others from your ‘fucks,’ ‘shits,’ and ‘goddamns.’ It’s only fair. Happy ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/26 "2003-09-02T13:12:01Z")
I’d pretend like the demon was trying to escape, which he would never do. "RAHHH! WORDS OF GOD… FORCING ME OUT… ! long uncomfortable silence… Nah. I’d just ignore it. ---
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/27 "2003-09-02T13:16:38Z")
**SlickRoenick** , I just checked out your profile and I don’t believe the last three items are really interests of yours. You sound like a real piece of work. **Happy** nailed this one right out of the park. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/28 "2003-09-02T13:22:15Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Happy Lendervedder_ > If you want to be spared hearing words that offend your delicate nature, spare others from your ‘fucks,’ ‘shits,’ and ‘goddamns.’ It’s only fair. Thank you, **Happy** , my thoughts exactly! So often, when I hear people cursing left and right, in public, I want to say **something** to them (and sometimes, I actualy speak up). When it’s just me, or if I’m in an “adult” kind of place (an R-rated movie, or a bar, ferinstance), it doesn’t bother me; hell, I’ve been known to talk that way, myself, a time or three. But when I’m in a public, family-type place, and especially when I have my kids with me, I’d rather not be subjected to hearing that. As far as people saying they’ll pray for me, well, if the intentions are good, I just say “thank you”, but if it’s obviously a self-righteous thing, I’d be inclined to make some smart-ass comment. If I were in the OP’s position, I think I’d much rather that someone politely ask me to tone down my language than to say “I’ll pray for you”. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/29 "2003-09-02T13:26:07Z")
1. “Woo Hoo! Me and my foul mouth are going to heaven!” 2. “My lawn could use your help too” 3. “How do you know you haven’t picked the wrong religion, and you’re just making God angrier and angrier” (\*) 4. “Your sister likes it when I talk dirty, hmm go figure” 5. “Gee thanks, now I feel terrible about putting that huge ding in your car door” 6. “I am sorry you’re so insecure in your faith, maybe if you didn’t masterbate so much you wouldn’t feel to need to act out” 7. “Fuck that, could you pray I win the lottery you dumbfuck” 8. “Sure, knock yourself out- but I am still stealing the Jesus fish off of your car” (\*) Simpsons joke. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/30 "2003-09-02T13:39:00Z")
“Pray for ma nutz in yo mouf, biatch!” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/31 "2003-09-02T13:45:23Z")
“Thank you. And I’ll sacrifice a virgin in the name of Baal for you.” ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/32 "2003-09-02T13:50:13Z")
I don’t understand this backlash towards religion. What ever happened to tolerance? Or ignoring them? I figure if this is about prostelityzing (sp?), then the bigger you react to what they say, the more concerned they are going to be about your fate and bug you even more. Yes I know it is none of their business, but the point is the more hostile you act toward them, the more they are going to react to you. ---
**Author:** ![SunTzu2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@SunTzu2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunTzu2U)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/33 "2003-09-02T14:41:28Z")
There are people who have a self righteous attitude when dealing with anything or anyone. Just take the entire tirade after my last post. They all seem to be perfectly self righteous in their scorn for others. They also seem to have little grasp on what it means to be christian. Christians are taught serve humanity and not put ourselves above others. You don’t get to heaven by merely living a pious life so abstaining from profanity is not a prequalification to getting into heaven. Maybe some of these posters have had a bad experience with someone who acted holier than them. I’m sorry for that. Maybe I shouldn’t rattle these monkey’s cages. It seems to upset them and all they can do is fling insults and excrement. These people might also be of the type to see someone attacked do nothing and then find pleasure in the person’s misfortune. I know we have alot like this in the world just look at the news. How many riots have claimed lives just because the people have distanced themselves to the point where they could injure and kill one another? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/34 "2003-09-02T14:54:51Z")
> [@](#): > > There are people who have a self righteous attitude when dealing with anything or anyone. Just take the entire tirade after my last post. They all seem to be perfectly self righteous in their scorn for others. They also seem to have little grasp on what it means to be christian. You are mistaken. My post was not in any way scornful of others, but it was scornful of American ethnocentrism that assumes that the American mode of politeness is universal. And your “They also seem to have little grasp on what it means to be Christian” is erroneous. We have many wonderful, caring Christian Dopers– **Polycarp** , **Sauron** , **Aries28** , **Triskadekamus** , and many others–who are all excellent models of charity and forbearance, for example, not making snarky, condescending comments to the non-Christians. We may be heathens, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re ignorant heathens. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/35 "2003-09-02T15:05:16Z")
> [@](#): > > There are people who have a self righteous attitude when dealing with anything or anyone. Just take the entire tirade after my last post. They all seem to be perfectly self righteous in their scorn for others. They also seem to have little grasp on what it means to be christian. You are mistaken. My post was not in any way scornful of others, but it was scornful of American ethnocentrism that assumes that the American mode of politeness is universal. And your “They also seem to have little grasp on what it means to be Christian” is erroneous. We have many wonderful, caring Christian Dopers– **Polycarp** , **Sauron** , **Aries28** , **Triskadekamus** , and many others–who are all excellent models of charity and forbearance, for example, not making snarky, condescending comments to the non-Christians. We may be heathens, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re ignorant heathens. And comments like this > [@](#): > > Maybe some of these posters have had a bad experience with someone who acted holier than them. I’m sorry for that. Maybe I shouldn’t rattle these monkey’s cages. It seems to upset them and all they can do is fling insults and excrement. tend to belie your insistence that Chrisitans seerve humanity. May I remind you of some words that may or may not be familiar to you > [@](#): > > 6:27 > But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, > 6:28 > Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. > 6:29 > And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also. > 6:30 > Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. > 6:31 > And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/36 "2003-09-02T15:09:44Z")
I only tell someone that I’m praying for them if I am certain that they are receptive to the idea. For example, a friend of mine went in for some shoulder surgery recently. When I was checking up on him right beforehand, I told him that I would pray for him. If it’s someone I don’t know (as in the OP), then I would pray for them and they don’t have to know. Didn’t Jesus say something about making a public spectacle of your prayers being wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/37 "2003-09-02T15:23:19Z")
> [@](#): > > not making snarky, condescending comments to the non-Christians. I agree this stranger’s comment was snarky. But just as hearing “I’ll pray for you” offends many non-religious people, hearing someone use God’s name in vain offends many Christians, Jews and Muslims. (Not to mention hearing gratuitious vulgarity of any kind in public offends many more people.) I think both sides (religious and non-religious) need to be a little more mindful how the words they use affect others. And what’s the point of the snarky and disrepectful responses offered up in this thread? It seems to me to be intolerance in the name of tolerance. Happy ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/38 "2003-09-02T15:30:17Z")
> [@](#): > > And what’s the point of the snarky and disrepectful responses offered up in this thread? : **shrug** : Just running with the OP, which demanded we consider it from the perspective of someone already swearing profusely. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/39 "2003-09-02T15:32:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Happy Lendervedder \* > **And what’s the point of the snarky and disrepectful responses offered up in this thread? It seems to me to be intolerance in the name of tolerance.** This is the Pit. The OP practically begged for snarky and disrepectful responses to perceived rude behavior, and they were freely offered up in the spirit of snarky and disrepectful humor. And if you don’t get that, then I’ll pray for you. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091/40 "2003-09-02T15:36:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by erislover \* > \*\*: **shrug** : Just running with the OP, which demanded we consider it from the perspective of someone already swearing profusely. \*\* It did? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-to-say-to-those-who-pray-for-you/199091.md?page=3)