# What Torture Method Would You Be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 11, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649 "2005-02-11T20:52:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jamlad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b77776/32.png) [@Jamlad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamlad)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/1 "2005-02-11T20:52:52Z")
What Torture Method Would You Be? Take this fun quiz [I love to take quizzes](http://selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=torture_devices) I am The Cross: People were hung in various positions from you, sometimes with weights, stretching and dislocating limbs. Sometimes they were left to starve or succumb to the elements. All in all, you’re a pretty forgiving person, provided they don’t -really-get you angry. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/2 "2005-02-11T21:06:30Z")
I’m The Brazen Bull: “You’re a giant oven shaped like, suprise, a brazen bull. A fire is lit under your belly, and the person inside is roasted alive. You really blow your top when someone makes you mad, though that can take a bit of work on their part.” ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/3 "2005-02-11T21:09:23Z")
Two words: Pauly Shore ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/4 "2005-02-11T21:13:39Z")
**The Ripper** Red-hot, you’re a pincer used to rip the breasts off unwed mothers as punishment.Ow. Someone gets you mad enough, they’d better run faster than you. I was hoping for Chinese Water Torture myself. Too bad that wasn’t on the list. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/5 "2005-02-11T21:14:57Z")
I am the [Iron Bed](http://members.cox.net/alleah/20.html). Sounds about right. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/6 "2005-02-11T21:24:04Z")
I am The Rack. “Victims are tied into you and stretched inch by agonizing inch, until they are either rent limb from limb or they confess. Or hey, maybe both. Not as bad as some people, someone tells you what you want to hear you’ll feel better.” Sad to say, that’s about right. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/7 "2005-02-11T21:24:54Z")
I’m a STAKE, for to be tied and burned at. Evidently people tip toe around me for fear of suffering judgement. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/8 "2005-02-11T22:17:00Z")
I’m the Cage. Although going by that site I think they missed one tourture device…the pop-up ad. ---
**Author:** ![Spudo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Spudo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spudo)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/9 "2005-02-11T22:34:30Z")
Apparently I’m Stoning. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/10 "2005-02-11T22:54:59Z")
I’m the Brazen Bull and apparently roast people alive when I finally get angry enough. Sounds about right ---
**Author:** ![myrnajean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@myrnajean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myrnajean)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/11 "2005-02-11T23:06:50Z")
eh, I’m the water wheel. I guess I’m much more of a softy than I thought… ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/12 "2005-02-11T23:20:18Z")
I’m the Stake, a complete psycho fuck that no one should ever cross. Gotta go, I’m making BBQ for tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/13 "2005-02-11T23:32:46Z")
Sawn in Two: Hung upside down, your victims are slowly sawn in half, starting at the part of their legs. Because of the concentration of blood rushing to their head, they are conscious until you get about to the mid-abdomen most of the time. Of course, there are other methods, such as sawing off each limb. Yeowch. You’re a gradual-torture person, someone gets on your bad side, you make them sorry for it, one day at a time. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/14 "2005-02-12T04:45:18Z")
I am The Stake. A classic, though not very nice. ---
**Author:** ![Xgemina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/b5e925/32.png) [@Xgemina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xgemina)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/15 "2005-02-12T06:43:26Z")
The Box > [@](#): > > A victim is shut up inside you, then dropped into some body of water. They drown, of course. A claustrophobic demise. If someone gets you mad, you just get away from them and forget it, though you quietly seethe for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/16 "2005-02-12T07:05:01Z")
The Rack. Hmm. Sounds a bit too gradual for my tastes … ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/17 "2005-02-12T07:28:48Z")
The Branks. > [@](#): > > You’re enclosed around a nagging wife’s head, with a tongue-piece spikes to keep her from opening her mouth. You’re a vocal person, someone tries to argue, they won’t get a word in edgewise. I’d never heard of it, and I’m kind of sorry I have now. ---
**Author:** ![Vision\_of\_Love](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Vision\_of\_Love](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vision_of_Love)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/18 "2005-02-12T07:57:31Z")
> [@](#): > > **The Cage** > > People are locked inside you and hung from a high place. A chain around their neck forces them to stand, and once they are dead from starvation or the elements, birds pick their bones clean. You’re probably a fan of just ignoring the people who get on your nerves. Or at least, ignoring them to the best of your abilities. Sure got me right. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/19 "2005-02-12T08:22:17Z")
The STAKE. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649/20 "2005-02-12T13:27:05Z")
I am the Brazen Bull. Maybe if I tell the cast of the play I’m directing, they’ll stop horsing around. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-torture-method-would-you-be/289649.md?page=2)