# What Trans Would You Like To Be? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 14, 2016, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918 "2016-07-14T20:14:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![12mgdaily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/f08c70/32.png) [@12mgdaily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/12mgdaily)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/1 "2016-07-14T20:14:19Z")
Now that society is expected to play along with what you imagine you wish you were. I’ve given it great thought. At first I was leaning towards the wish I’ve long had… that I have always wanted to be rich. In reality I was born, and have remained middle-class all my life. I’m not happy with the financial circumstances of my life. I’ve longed for and desired being rich. I am Transrich. In our society’s acceptance of wishful thinking, I should be able to take the next step. I can identify with the wealthy members of society. I can take a wad of Monopoly money and drop in expensive restaurants and go on lavish vacations… getting there by private jet while I wear my cubic zirconia ‘diamonds’. I expect everyone to accommodate me in my quest to be what I am not, no matter how bogus, fictitious, phony, or false it is. I want equality with the rich. It is my right and people like me should be protected under the law. But I have an even bigger desire. I want to be young again. I hate being in my 60’s. I identify myself as a teenager. I am Transteen. I want my dentist to put braces on my dentures. I will apply ‘pimples’ on my face with makeup and then I want to be admitted to high school and be accepted as a 16 year old student. What Trans are you? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/2 "2016-07-14T20:16:01Z")
> [@12mgdaily](#): > > What Trans are you? Kinda wish I had a way to make you not stupid. That’d be like so cool, man. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/3 "2016-07-14T20:20:55Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Kinda wish I had a way to make you not stupid. That’d be like so cool, man. But when you start from zero, you can’t wish for 50% more or twice as smart. And you can’t specify a number because then you make something from nothing. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/4 "2016-07-14T20:26:19Z")
Must be nice to have such a pathetically boring life that you have time to make fun of the struggles of others. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/5 "2016-07-14T20:27:11Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > Must be nice to have such a pathetically boring life that you have time to make fun of the struggles of others. _hangs head_ ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/6 "2016-07-14T20:38:42Z")
Great burden on you, OP, is it, to ‘play along’? I suggest upping the dosage to 20mg daily. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/7 "2016-07-14T20:48:12Z")
I would be Trans Fat, that way I could spend more time at State Fairs and movie theatres. A bonus would be obnoxiously fit people and fad followers would leave me alone. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/8 "2016-07-14T20:53:44Z")
I want to be TransGenie so I could grant myself wishes. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/9 "2016-07-14T21:03:43Z")
> [@12mgdaily](#): > > Now that society is expected to play along with what you imagine you wish you were. You don’t have to play along. Be yourself, just like anyone else should be able to do. Should society be expected to play along with your dumbassedness? That’s probably more of a question for philosophers, I guess. Be yourself- your pained, bitter, dumb self. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/10 "2016-07-14T21:24:47Z")
Gosh, that’s really mean, bobot. I like you! ---
**Author:** ![TipTapTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/34f0e0/32.png) [@TipTapTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TipTapTwo)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/11 "2016-07-14T21:35:32Z")
Careful with your wish **Sitnam**. The FDA is banning most Trans Fats from grocery stores, and from being served in restaurants. You could only spend more time in state fairs and movie theaters if you worked there, serving Cis Fats. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/12 "2016-07-14T21:36:45Z")
If sexual trans is the topic, I think I might enjoy being a fully-functional hermaphrodite. Pee standing up and multiple orgasms. Trans-income and fortune is, of course, hugely tempting. Keep buying those lottery tickets. It could happen… Being young(er) again would be mighty sweet… It might be nice to be Australian or Canadian. One of those countries with a national health program. But then I’d have to learn to talk funny… ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/13 "2016-07-14T22:01:50Z")
> [@12mgdaily](#): > > But I have an even bigger desire. I want to be young again. I hate being in my 60’s. Yeah, it must be rough. On the bright side, you’ll be dead pretty soon. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/14 "2016-07-14T22:07:33Z")
> [@12mgdaily](#): > > Now that society is expected to play along with what you imagine you wish you were. > > I’ve given it great thought. At first I was leaning towards the wish I’ve long had… that I have always wanted to be rich. In reality I was born, and have remained middle-class all my life. I’m not happy with the financial circumstances of my life. I’ve longed for and desired being rich. I am Transrich. In our society’s acceptance of wishful thinking, I should be able to take the next step. I can identify with the wealthy members of society. I can take a wad of Monopoly money and drop in expensive restaurants and go on lavish vacations… getting there by private jet while I wear my cubic zirconia ‘diamonds’. I expect everyone to accommodate me in my quest to be what I am not, no matter how bogus, fictitious, phony, or false it is. I want equality with the rich. It is my right and people like me should be protected under the law. > > But I have an even bigger desire. I want to be young again. I hate being in my 60’s. I identify myself as a teenager. I am Transteen. I want my dentist to put braces on my dentures. I will apply ‘pimples’ on my face with makeup and then I want to be admitted to high school and be accepted as a 16 year old student. > > What Trans are you? You are free to see yourself however you’d like. And since I’m a nice person I will be happy to call you whatever you’d like to be called. ---
**Author:** ![Me\_Billy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Me\_Billy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Billy)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/15 "2016-07-14T22:09:29Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > If sexual trans is the topic, I think I might enjoy being a fully-functional hermaphrodite. Pee standing up and multiple orgasms… Add being a dog to that and I would go for that too. Then I could lick myself as well! (Why do dogs lick themselves? Because they can!) ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/16 "2016-07-14T22:48:00Z")
> [@12mgdaily](#): > > I can take a wad of Monopoly money and drop in expensive restaurants and go on lavish vacations… getting there by private jet while I wear my cubic zirconia ‘diamonds’. > . > . > . > . > . > I want my dentist to put braces on my dentures. I will apply ‘pimples’ on my face with makeup and then I want to be admitted to high school and be accepted as a 16 year old student. I support you 100%. Please do this. Immediately. And take video ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/17 "2016-07-14T23:20:46Z")
> [@12mgdaily](#): > > Now that society is expected to play along with what you imagine you wish you were. It took you more effort to write that sentence than you will ever in your life be asked to expend on the behalf of trans people. No one is asking you to expend a single calorie on their behalf, but, if you don’t mind, society would kindly like to ask, could you stop expending calories at being an asshole? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/18 "2016-07-14T23:23:58Z")
Gah. This sounds like my idiot mother. She’s had an amazing amount of bugs up her ass about trans issues since that hit the news, and we live in deep east Texas where in over 35 years, we’ve encountered two people who were trans and the last was within the past month. So much angst and drama for something that’ll never affect her frigging life. And she couldn’t care less about the violence against them or the high suicide rate, just how ungodly it is. Have I said lately how much I hate her? Is she the OP? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/19 "2016-07-14T23:34:32Z")
My son is transgendered. She’s not imagining what she thinks she is. Gender dysphoria has been with us forever. Only recently are decent, caring people able to be accepting human beings. The rest of you are uneducated assholes, and probably hyper-religious too. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2016, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918/20 "2016-07-15T00:40:24Z")
Sigh. My (trans) daughter just asked why so many Republicans are obsessed with her evil plans to defile their wives and daughters in bathrooms across the country, when her actual trans-agenda currently consists of figuring out what to do during her gap year.:smack: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-trans-would-you-like-to-be/759918.md?page=2)