Zorro: what did pandas ever do to upset you? Have you got a personal vendetta against them?
I think if you were put in a cage with a panda, one of you would be torn to ribbons (and it wouldn’t be the panda).
I killed a jackalope once. They look innocent, but they’re nasty when they get pissed off. Those antlers are razor-sharp and they know how to use them. I’ve got the scars to prove it.
RUN AWAY!
Oh man, I would pay to see some of you guys try and take on these animals you think you could beat. An Ostridge? Are you kidding me? It would totally dominate. You can forget apes or monkeys, geese are killers too. Most full sized dogs would tear a human apart too, as well as larger cats. I have a hard enough time fending for myself against my house cat, he can almost bring me down when he pounces, and he’s no bobcat.
I’d honestly say that I could take on a doberman. I have in the past and came out pretty well.
I once saved my dog from being mauled by a Newfoundland (if you’ve never seen one, think St. Bernard only black), but I doubt that I could just walk up to one now and start fighting. I think adrenaline has a lot to do with how an otherwise ordinary human might fare against something with claws and fangs and no sense of social propriety.
Given the Brit usage of “to take on” as “to hire”, I get the feeling some of our British Dopers may say something like,
“I could take on a well-trained chimp to help out around the house.”
No weapons? :eek:
Crap, well in that case I’d get my ass kicked by a moth!
Whatever animal it were, it would have to be de-clawed, de-toothed, de-tentacled, de-venomed, de-beaked, and perhaps asleep for me to have the upper hand. And no capacity to shoot poison darts, either.
Therefore, bring on the sea cucumber. It could disgorge it’s stomach on my hikers and I’d still kick the hoohah out of it.
I think I could take on a weasel – best 2 out of 3.
Geese or a goose? Twenty geese would probably kill me. But we are only talking one animal here. I could take one goose easy. It can’t deliver a killing blow on the first shot, while I can just pounce on it and step on it’s neck.
Yes, geese en masse can be terribly intimidating. Good thing they don’t generally attack in a group.
I think a lot of it really has to do with outsmarting the animal. Get a deer out there and he could tear you to shreads with his front hooves and antlers. But if you start with a good kick (longer reach than a punch) and manage to grab his antlers you can wrestle him down.
Also, being willing to take some inconsequential pain. if you get two geese after you, yes their bites hurt, and when they flog you with their wings it can be pretty rough. But be assured you slug a lot harder.
In the end, I’d be willing to step in the cage with pretty much anything that I outweigh. (Um, poison barbs aside.) If I can pick them up and throw them, I feel secure.
Skunk.
Yeah, ostridges are big. Bigger then you would expect. Like twice the size of an average male big. Well in height at least. It would just peck at you insesantly. Its head isn’t a very big target and you probably do no want to get close enough to let it kick you. Unless you come from behind and kick it in the genitals I think you may want to avoid it.
And as for panda’s where would you hit it? Punching it in the face would probably get you swatted across the room. They’ve got thick hides so it would be hard to do them any serious damage in the five seconds you have before it decides to crush you…
For me, well I could take a llama no problem. A mid sized dog should put up a fight but I could deal with it. Oh and true story, I once took out a dozen ants! True all true!
I am up to a German Sheaperd. Getting to old to try for higher…