# What was going through the Balrog's mind when he fought Gandalf? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 24, 2009, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202 "2009-04-24T12:41:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/1 "2009-04-24T12:41:07Z")
For all you LOTR geeks, may I present… [Answering literature’s greatest unanswered question.](http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/081123.html) Enhanced [poster](http://www.sheldoncomics.com/store/images/BALROG_big.jpg) [version](http://sheldoncomics.com/store/books.html) with extra Glowing Evil. Bonus! [Thor?](http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/090423.html) [really?](http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/090424.html) This public service thread brought to you by the awesome awesomeness of Dave Kellett and Sheldon. ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/2 "2009-04-24T17:13:04Z")
At risk of turning Cafe Society into a smoking crater, I must point out that he drew wings on Durin’s Bane, therefore his analysis of the Balrog’s thought processes can be given no credence. Also, I think it would be more along the lines of, “Oops.” RR ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/3 "2009-04-24T17:16:00Z")
Glamdring? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/4 "2009-04-24T17:40:24Z")
I gotta assume the last thing then when through his mind when he hit the bottom of the pit was… his asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/5 "2009-04-24T17:43:17Z")
> [@emmaliminal](#): > > Bonus! [Thor?](http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/090423.html) [really?](http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/090424.html) Actually, Marvel’s got the entire Norse pantheon as part of their comic universe. Greek, too. Hercules is an occasional member of the Avengers. The Greek gods are also prominent in DC, too. Wonder Woman regularly tangles with folks like Hades and Ares. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/6 "2009-04-24T17:46:36Z")
Q: What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when he hits the windshield? A: His brains. Thanks for the link **emmaliminal** ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/7 "2009-04-24T17:50:43Z")
> [@RiverRunner](#): > > … wings on Durin’s Bane… I’m not myself a card-carrying LOTR geek, but am only married to one. Nonetheless, did not JRR himself write wings on the Balrog at Khazad-dûm? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/8 "2009-04-24T17:52:29Z")
> [@emmaliminal](#): > > This public service thread brought to you by the awesome awesomeness of Dave Kellett and Sheldon. I love Sheldon! Been reading Kellett since the days of “Four Food Groups of the Apocalypse”. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/9 "2009-04-24T18:02:12Z")
> [@emmaliminal](#): > > I’m not myself a card-carrying LOTR geek, but am only married to one. Nonetheless, did not JRR himself write wings on the Balrog at Khazad-dûm? That’s a matter of considerable debate, in Tolkein geek circles. He mentions wings, but it’s not clear if they’re literal wings, or figurative wings. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/10 "2009-04-24T18:03:41Z")
> [@RiverRunner](#): > > At risk of turning Cafe Society into a smoking crater, I must point out that he drew wings on Durin’s Bane, therefore his analysis of the Balrog’s thought processes can be given no credence. > > Also, I think it would be more along the lines of, “Oops.” > RR “Gee, I wish I had wings so I could fly.” ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/11 "2009-04-24T18:42:22Z")
> [@emmaliminal](#): > > Bonus! [Thor?](http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/090423.html) [really?](http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/090424.html) Sounds like the guy has never read a Thor comic. Sure, it’s not religious canon, but he’s not running around beating up bank robbers. He’s one of the most powerful heroes in the Marvel Universe (almost always last or next to last man standing in those epic battles), and Odin, Heimdall, Loki, Asgard, etc, have played major roles in a lot of his storylines. Now if you want to see a completely absurd portrayal of the Thunder God, watch the Incredible Hulk made for tv movie with him in it. Od’s blood! ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/12 "2009-04-24T18:57:13Z")
> [@emmaliminal](#): > > I’m not myself a card-carrying LOTR geek, but am only married to one. Nonetheless, did not JRR himself write wings on the Balrog at Khazad-dûm? Trust me, you do NOT want to open this can of worms. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/13 "2009-04-24T19:29:02Z")
Personally, I figure that the Balrog has literal wings which are literally composed of shadow. When you’re a mystical spirit being older than Creation itself, you can pull off things like that. Unfortunately, shadow-stuff wings are inadequate to provide an assumed corporeal form with flight, so a Balrog can fly only when unclad. ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/14 "2009-04-24T19:52:23Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Personally, I figure that the Balrog has literal wings which are literally composed of shadow. When you’re a mystical spirit being older than Creation itself, you can pull off things like that. Unfortunately, shadow-stuff wings are inadequate to provide an assumed corporeal form with flight, so a Balrog can fly only when unclad. You, sir, win. Entirely. ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/15 "2009-04-24T20:10:37Z")
Any Balrog capable of conscious thought would be thinking “Oh no, not again.” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/16 "2009-04-24T20:18:13Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I gotta assume the last thing then when through his mind when he hit the bottom of the pit was… his asshole. Nope, there was a freakin’ big splash in some seriously deep water, followed by the father and mother of all staircase fights right the way from the bottom of the bottomless pit to the peak of the mountain, and _then_ they _really_ got down to it. If it had all been filmed it would have lasted much, much longer than the 20-minute sequence at the start of _Saving Private Ryan_. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-going-through-the-balrogs-mind-when-he-fought-gandalf/494202/17 "2009-04-24T21:35:56Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > That’s a matter of considerable debate, in Tolkein geek circles. He mentions wings, but it’s not clear if they’re literal wings, or figurative wings. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Sorry! > [@DigitalC](#): > > Trust me, you do NOT want to open this can of worms. _:: backs slowly away from can of worms ::_ > [@Chronos](#): > > Personally, I figure that the Balrog has literal wings which are literally composed of shadow… _:: surreptitiously whispers to can of worms ::_ Psst! What Chronos said.