# What was I stinking?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-i-stinking/127992>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 11, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-i-stinking/127992 "2002-09-11T17:42:25Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 8\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-i-stinking/127992/41 "2002-09-24T14:34:19Z")

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Yep, I guess it’s lonely at the bottom too.

A bit of an update…

I really had to, you know, “go” this morning. So much so that I couldn’t help but do that walk where your knees kinda stay together but sway from side to side and you slowly straighten up and then bend over as you’re walking down the hall.

I knew it was pretty obvious I had to make poop but the bathroom wasn’t that far away. However, there was a great deal of nopise coming from that end of the hall and once I got there I saw that they were completely ripping out all the stalls and thrones and everything.

I carefully pivoted and headed for the stairs, hoping to catch the room a floor below. Dangit, that one’s under construction too!

My situation’s not desperate yet but I’m really pushing things. I double back on that floor and head to the bathroom a building over.

As I’m walking through the door, relieved, I hear this god-awful noise that sounds like a cat is being choked or something. Then there’s a _Thunk Thunk Thunk_ like somebody’s shooting a potato gun and I see this poor sonuvabitch by the sink trying to get out as fast as he can. There’s this totally disgusted look on his face and his eyes are watering. I guess the polite thing to do as he bolted my way would have been to let him pass but fuck that. I turned right in front of him and got the heck out like the crap wimp I am.

Back to the stairs again I did the twist walk, which was now becoming desperate, and went back up a flight. Things are now approaching the ridiculous as I enter my 4th poopie cuarto. Stall #1 is occupied, as is stall #3 and it sounds like Burr and Hamilton are having a shit duel in there. They must be terrible marksmen because they both keep reloading and firing again. It’s like they’re wearing patches over their eyes and just firing blindly. I’ll be danged if I’m gonna sit between these two and moderate.

Finally, one more floor up I finally find some piece and quiet.

Why all this concentrated morning rucus? I’ve given the matter some thought and have reached a conclusion… Monday Night Football. Buch of big dudes sitting around together eating pizza, buttered and salty foods, and drinking beer.

However, upon reflection I can’t really get too upset since, as someone mentioned, somedays you reap what you sow.

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**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-i-stinking/127992/42 "2002-09-24T15:14:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by lieu \*  
> \*\*Stall #1 is occupied, as is stall #3 and it sounds like Burr and Hamilton are having a shit duel in there. They must be terrible marksmen because they both keep reloading and firing again. \*\*

When you go home at night, do you sit around thinking up these snazzy euphemisms, or do you just fling them out off the cuff?

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-i-stinking/127992/43 "2002-09-24T15:32:58Z")

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Hang on while I look up euphemism.

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**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-i-stinking/127992/44 "2002-09-24T16:17:18Z")

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[peanut buttery mouth]

Aaron Burr!

[/peanut buttery mouth]

I think you’re on to something with the football idea - the repercussions of a nice greasy meal come to a head the next morning.

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**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-i-stinking/127992/45 "2002-09-24T16:31:05Z")

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Ew… “peanut buttery mouth” somehow seems icky in this thread…

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-i-stinking/127992/46 "2002-09-24T16:47:40Z")

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Heh heh…

you said “percussion”.

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**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-i-stinking/127992/47 "2002-09-24T17:12:20Z")

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🆒

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**Author:** ![Biba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Biba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biba)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2002, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-i-stinking/127992/48 "2002-09-25T10:56:25Z")

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So, lieu, ever thought of having that Abba classic as your theme tune - Super Pooper?

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