# What was Lucas thinking with the Porkins character in Star Wars? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 16, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349 "2009-09-16T19:10:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/61 "2009-11-20T21:14:33Z")
I think he just realized one against three (with all three dead on his ass) was piss-poor odds and bailed. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/62 "2009-11-21T09:28:07Z")
> [@Redwing](#): > > There’s plenty of reasons why Gold 5 could’ve been torp-less, and others as to why he’d have ditched the run. Let’s see, launcher inopperable, thus no load; he was shitty bomber so they saved the torps they had for people with a shot; he didn’t have time to activate his targetting computer before reaching the wall; he was so rattled by the sudden deaths of his flight that he forgot about them; Vader was using the Force to disrupt his concentration; and on and on and on. Well concidering this is the Rebs we are talking about, nothing ever gets said about the economics of the rebellion. How do they buy their torpedos or concussion missiles, x wings, y wings etc. I can seriously believe that they only had something like 20 or so torpedos, and that y wing was set up as a command and control bird with heavy ECM. In just under a day to get thirty effectives up in the air, I can see them cutting some corners. Declan ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/63 "2009-11-21T09:29:11Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > I think he just realized one against three (with all three dead on his ass) was piss-poor odds and bailed. In otherwords he was an experienced pro and bugged out when the situation called for it. Declan ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/64 "2009-11-21T14:33:05Z")
> [@Declan](#): > > Well concidering this is the Rebs we are talking about, nothing ever gets said about the economics of the rebellion. How do they buy their torpedos or concussion missiles, x wings, y wings etc. > > I can seriously believe that they only had something like 20 or so torpedos, and that y wing was set up as a command and control bird with heavy ECM. In just under a day to get thirty effectives up in the air, I can see them cutting some corners. > > Declan There’s a fanwank that the ion cannons on the Y-Wings were largely _not_operational, and the lone Y-Wing we see right before the Great Space Kablooey of Yavin was the only Y-Wing with operational ion cannons. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/65 "2009-11-21T15:22:53Z")
> [@Redwing](#): > > There’s plenty of reasons why Gold 5 could’ve been torp-less, and others as to why he’d have ditched the run. Let’s see, launcher inopperable, thus no load; he was shitty bomber so they saved the torps they had for people with a shot; he didn’t have time to activate his targetting computer before reaching the wall; he was so rattled by the sudden deaths of his flight that he forgot about them; Vader was using the Force to disrupt his concentration; and on and on and on. Sure, I’m only pointing out that there are no _on-screen_ reasons for him to not have torpedoes. In the novel (where the Y-wings are Red squadron, and the X-wings, including Luke are Blue), BTW, it says “This second loss proved even to much for Red Five to take. He manipulated controls and his ship commenced rising in a slow curve out of the trench.” ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/66 "2009-11-21T19:26:27Z")
The original ending to Star Wars was for Porkins to fly right at the camera and say “Buddeeb budeeb buddeeb that’s all folks!”, but Lucas couldn’t get the rights cleared. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/67 "2009-11-22T08:21:28Z")
> [@Bijou\_Drains](#): > > BTW , I am pretty amazed it took 4 whole minutes before Jar Jar was mentioned in this thread. Normally he comes up quicker than that. Does the first person to mention Jar Jar in a Star Wars thread automatically lose? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/68 "2009-11-22T09:56:51Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > The Death Star had gay runs? > > Poor Porkins. Th-th-th-thats all folks. > [@jackdavinci](#): > > Does the first person to mention Jar Jar in a Star Wars thread automatically lose? 😃 That happened in post #2. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/69 "2009-11-23T15:47:28Z")
> [@filmore](#): > > Because it reflects on the character. When an overweight guy named Porkins goes into combat without attaching his strap, I’m thinking “what’s that fat, lazy slob doing going on a combat mission.” The other pilots are your typical in shape fly boys and they all attached their strap. So here is the one overweight guy. Not only is he overweight, but his name is Porkins. And not only is he overweight and named Porkins, he’s the only one who didn’t attach his strap. Stuff like that doesn’t happen in the movies by accident. > > This is the image I have of Porkins: [http://www.goingfaster.com/angst/kfcporkins.jpg](http://www.goingfaster.com/angst/kfcporkins.jpg) I actually watched this again yesterday. Porkins does not have a chinstrap at all and Gold 5 is the one who is flying with the chin strap dangling. So it may just be a lack of disapline in the Rebel fighter corps (or a one-size-fits-all mentality in the costume department). ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/70 "2009-11-23T17:25:56Z")
His chinstrap is there. Look at this [Pic](http://communit.as/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/porkins.jpg). You can see it resting on the right side of the photo. The black strap is laying over the cord to his mic. ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/71 "2009-11-24T20:56:07Z")
A friend of mine was refueling his F-15 over Afghanistan, but didn’t know there was an AF General watching from the observation window of the tanker. My friend’s commander later got a call from the general’s staff about my friend not wearing his flight gloves, having his sleeves rolled up, oxygen mask down and his chin strap undone. I guess it’s good no one knew about the MP3 player spliced into the comm system. My point is some aircrew button every button and truly “dress for egress”, while other are more willing to risk burns and other ejection injuries in the name of comfort. So the undone straps in SW don’t bother me. I think it has more to do with wardrobe issues than real world precedent, though. ---
**Author:** ![This\_Just\_In\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@This\_Just\_In\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/This_Just_In_2)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/72 "2009-11-24T21:50:47Z")
Does Star Wars canon ever explain why Porkins and compatriots had to fly down the ‘trench’ for about a minute before launching their torpedo? It has always seemed like an overly dramatic way to approach a target that is basically a vertical tube going down to the innards of a spherical space station. The torpedo is launched and then has to do a 90 deg turn on top of the target. Or would I be better off posing this question to an actor at a Star Wars convention? ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/73 "2009-11-24T22:51:52Z")
> [@This\_Just\_In\_2](#): > > Does Star Wars canon ever explain why Porkins and compatriots had to fly down the ‘trench’ for about a minute before launching their torpedo? It has always seemed like an overly dramatic way to approach a target that is basically a vertical tube going down to the innards of a spherical space station. The torpedo is launched and then has to do a 90 deg turn on top of the target. > > Or would I be better off posing this question to an actor at a Star Wars convention? I don’t know if it was covered on film in that depth. Having to pull up sharply after release implies that the target is in some type of area with many obstructions to line of sight, line of fire. I would assume it might be under an “overhang”, preventing a shot from directly “above”. The briefing did mention it was “ray shielded”, necessitating torpedoes. I don’t know if this affected tactics beyond weapon loadout. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Hootkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@Billy\_Hootkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Hootkins)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/74 "2009-12-21T08:13:17Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > I think Lucas cast him in _Raiders_ to make up for the rather indelicate Porkins thing. > > The character of Jek Porkins was written and named before being cast, I know that much. I read an interview with the actor in _Insider_ magazine. Well, I don’t think Lucas was feeling too badly about his supposed “indelicacy.” After all, Lucas cast the actor who played Porkins as Major Eaton in _Raiders_. Think about that for a sec. Major Eaton. Major Eatin’? Major Eating? I’m sensing a trend here. And why shouldn’t Lucas make cheap puns about his go-to “[imposingly bulky and heavyset](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0393853/bio)” actor? It takes all kinds. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/75 "2009-12-21T08:40:30Z")
> [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](#): > > A friend of mine was refueling his F-15 over Afghanistan, but didn’t know there was an AF General watching from the observation window of the tanker. My friend’s commander later got a call from the general’s staff about my friend not wearing his flight gloves, having his sleeves rolled up, oxygen mask down and his chin strap undone. I guess it’s good no one knew about the MP3 player spliced into the comm system. > > My point is some aircrew button every button and truly “dress for egress”, while other are more willing to risk burns and other ejection injuries in the name of comfort. So the undone straps in SW don’t bother me. I think it has more to do with wardrobe issues than real world precedent, though. Some AF craft fly at 9,999 feet just to avoid the obligation to wear oxygen masks. Shortcuts are made where than can be taken, and usually not noticed. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/76 "2009-12-21T14:10:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Does Star Wars canon ever explain why Porkins and compatriots had to fly down the ‘trench’ for about a minute before launching their torpedo? It has always seemed like an overly dramatic way to approach a target that is basically a vertical tube going down to the innards of a spherical space station. As far as I can see, drama is the only reason for it. I also wonder why one of the team didn’t get themselves set up, then turn saround backwards to fire at the damned TIE fighters – it seems as if X-Wings and Y-Wings have absolutely no rear weapons or even shielding! Of course, it could just be the roots of the situation. Read my Teemings article from many years back: [http://www.teemings.net/issue03/force.html](http://www.teemings.net/issue03/force.html) ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/77 "2009-12-23T19:50:21Z")
> [@cuauhtemoc](#): > > All these years, I thought it was “Forkins”. Dammit! I just hoarked up my chips! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/78 "2009-12-23T20:10:41Z")
> [@Billy\_Hootkins](#): > > And why shouldn’t Lucas make cheap puns about his go-to “[imposingly bulky and heavyset](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0393853/bio)” actor? It takes all kinds. From that link, I just learned that the actor who played Biggs is named Garrick Hagon, a name that demands that one hold the governments of the Earth hostage with an orbital death ray. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/79 "2009-12-23T20:44:08Z")
> [@This\_Just\_In\_2](#): > > Does Star Wars canon ever explain why Porkins and compatriots had to fly down the ‘trench’ for about a minute before launching their torpedo? It has always seemed like an overly dramatic way to approach a target that is basically a vertical tube going down to the innards of a spherical space station. The torpedo is launched and then has to do a 90 deg turn on top of the target. Fanwanking an answer isn’t terribly hard. The shaft they are trying to shoot into is too small to get a good lock on until you are within a few hundred meters. Flying straight at the sphere to get the shot would force you to crash into it, unable to pull up in time. With the trench protecting you from most of the Death Star’s defensive weapons, you’re better to find a place where the Death Star’s defenses are weakest, fly in and enter the trench at that place, and then follow it until you get within firing range of the shaft. ---
**Author:** ![GeekChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f05b48/32.png) [@GeekChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GeekChick)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349/80 "2016-01-19T03:51:25Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Bigs: “I’m going in. Cover me, Porkins.” > > Porkins: “Fuck you, man! My name is Jeff!” Love it… Could’ve been a Mad Magazine “Scenes We’d Like To See!” (Anyone remember those?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-lucas-thinking-with-the-porkins-character-in-star-wars/510349.md?page=5)