# What was the last thing you said to an inanimate object? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 4, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543 "2005-11-04T20:54:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/1 "2005-11-04T20:54:13Z")
To the computer: “Come on you slow peice of trash.” And yes, talking to people on TV count too. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/2 "2005-11-04T20:58:16Z")
In that case, Bill O’Reilly gets an earful every chance I get. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/3 "2005-11-04T21:00:28Z")
I asked my cell phone where it had gotten to. ---
**Author:** ![Tuco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tuco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuco)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/4 "2005-11-04T21:00:36Z")
Last thing - ’ ‘No. Not now. Oh you motherfcuing piece of good for nothing pile of crap’. My computer at work. Away from work -‘See ya in a few weeks’ My motorbike. ---
**Author:** ![PinkNailFile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8491ac/32.png) [@PinkNailFile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkNailFile)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/5 "2005-11-04T21:06:40Z")
“God damn it. Where the fuck are you?!” To my phone. Swear on my life it’s in the walls. That’s the only possible place it can be at this point. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/6 "2005-11-04T21:11:01Z")
“Sit!” ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/7 "2005-11-04T21:17:17Z")
Does “inanimate” include co-workers? ---
**Author:** ![BuckyDoneGun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b782af/32.png) [@BuckyDoneGun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckyDoneGun)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/8 "2005-11-04T21:26:40Z")
That would be “Fuck” to my cellphone when it rang and I did not feel like answering (frankly, I rarely ever do). ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/9 "2005-11-04T21:26:42Z")
To my Stihl gas powered grass trimmer, “Worthless piece of shit!” That was just before I threw it hard to the ground." It hasn’t run since. I’m a little embarrassed about breaking it, but it was such a PITA that I don’t think I’ll get it fixed. Grrr. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/10 "2005-11-04T21:28:21Z")
Does singing count? About ten minutes or so ago, I was singing an old ELO song, “The Lights Go Down” to the teakettle… then to a Satsuma… then to one of the cats, but that wasn’t very inanimate… then danced around with a sofa cushion… Then I sang to one of the lamps as I went to turn it off with a flourish, and sang very dramatically (and apparently a little too loudly) “and there’s no one aroooooooooouuuooouuooooouuund!” And my upstairs neighbour was outside getting their mail and knocked on the window, startling me, and waved to me. I’ve been pretty quiet since. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Batman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@The\_Batman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Batman)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/11 "2005-11-04T21:35:09Z")
“Hi. Can I have a small #3 with Dr. Pepper?..Hello?” There was nobody manning the drive-thru window. ---
**Author:** ![dare\_devil007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@dare\_devil007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dare_devil007)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/12 "2005-11-04T21:41:46Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > Does singing count? About ten minutes or so ago, I was singing an old ELO song, “The Lights Go Down” to the teakettle… then to a Satsuma… then to one of the cats, but that wasn’t very inanimate… then danced around with a sofa cushion… > Then I sang to one of the lamps as I went to turn it off with a flourish, and sang very dramatically (and apparently a little too loudly) “and there’s no one aroooooooooouuuooouuooooouuund!” And my upstairs neighbour was outside getting their mail and knocked on the window, startling me, and waved to me. > > I’ve been pretty quiet since. I was serenading my kettle, too, when I was making some hot chocolate. My dog glared at me the whole time I was singing. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/13 "2005-11-04T22:29:09Z")
> [@](#): > > Does singing count? About ten minutes or so ago, I was singing an old ELO song, “The Lights Go Down” to the teakettle… then to a Satsuma… then to one of the cats, but that wasn’t very inanimate… then danced around with a sofa cushion… > Then I sang to one of the lamps as I went to turn it off with a flourish, and sang very dramatically (and apparently a little too loudly) “and there’s no one aroooooooooouuuooouuooooouuund!” And my upstairs neighbour was outside getting their mail and knocked on the window, startling me, and waved to me. > > I’ve been pretty quiet since. Lol, excellent. I was discovered singing once, only for my next door neighbour to start singing along. We were both horribly out of tune, it was great! Plus it was a backstreet boys song…_cough_ I told my book it was awful, with a hateful glance thrown in too. Damn NJO…☹ ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/14 "2005-11-04T22:36:53Z")
I said some very unpolite words to the bulb planter when it broke. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/15 "2005-11-04T22:49:09Z")
My computer is frequently the target of my ire. Particularly if I’m programming and the code is inexplicably not perfect … ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/16 "2005-11-04T22:59:07Z")
Evey time the L&O SVU intro comes on and the announcers voice intones "The “sexually based offenses” investigated by New York’s Special Victims Unit can be “especially heinous.” - I shout “MOST HEINOUS!!” Yes I’m alone… so alone. Why? ---
**Author:** ![AnnabelleKKM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@AnnabelleKKM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnnabelleKKM)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/17 "2005-11-04T23:06:14Z")
i said ‘chunnel this’ to my car today when the tires kept squeaking everytime i’d slow down. -Annabelle ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/18 "2005-11-04T23:07:36Z")
“Mother_ **fucker** _!” …to a straight pin that I dropped on the floor at 6:00 this morning. I was pinning a Turkish hand towel to the arm of my sofa to keep my cat from clawing it. When I dropped the pin, I feared she’d eat it or something if I couldn’t retrieve it. I got the pin with the dustbuster, though. Whew. (I’m also trying double-sided tape. Hope \*something \* works.) ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/19 "2005-11-04T23:56:58Z")
“Fuck a duck,” when mini fire drill emails landed in my inbox. I’m trying to work, dangit! ---
**Author:** ![Amaranta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Amaranta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amaranta)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/20 "2005-11-05T00:02:50Z")
“Ow fuck ow stop it!!” while removing the pan containing my delicious yam wedge fries from the oven. It was directed at both the oven mitt and the oven, but then I realised the oven hadn’t done anything wrong, it was all the stupid worthless oven mitt and its inability to do its job. So I apologized. To my oven. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543.md?page=2)