# What was the last thing you said to an inanimate object? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 4, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543 "2005-11-04T20:54:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![the\_brave\_navel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ee59a6/32.png) [@the\_brave\_navel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_brave_navel)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/41 "2005-11-06T20:30:24Z")
“Get back, Slappyjack!”, to a sock as I was loading the dryer. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/42 "2005-11-06T20:47:40Z")
“Stay”, and then “Good box!” to a box I piled on top of another box this morning. It had already fallen off once because it was unbalanced. Just needed to be told, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/43 "2005-11-06T21:14:32Z")
I’ll still respect you in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/44 "2005-11-06T21:15:25Z")
Not the last, but one of my better ones … My old microwave gave reminder beeps when someone left food inside after cooking. So it would beep when it was finished, then beep every minute thereafter until the door was opened. Last year when I had the flu I decided to make a cup of tea. I wasn’t moving fast enough for the microwave, which started to beep. After the third reminder beep I rounded on the microwave and yelled “HEY! You work for _me_!” In my fevered state I thought it was hilarious. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/45 "2005-11-07T00:45:41Z")
to my car in the parking lot of Long John Silver C’mon… It was having problems staring. ---
**Author:** ![MessyPaint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@MessyPaint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MessyPaint)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/46 "2005-11-07T00:53:08Z")
i asked turtle (my incense holder which holds pencil shavings) if he’d be interested in going down to the city this weekend… he’s a good friend of mine. ---
**Author:** ![caligynephobia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@caligynephobia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caligynephobia)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/47 "2005-11-07T01:06:38Z")
Hmm . . . I thanked my car for reminding me to remove my keys. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/48 "2005-11-07T01:42:53Z")
to make it look like someone was home. Came back at 7:00pm. Walked into the front door to see Bill Clintons huge head on my big screen TV staring me in the face. “Bah! Get the #%K out of my house!” _click_ ---
**Author:** ![phoebo32](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@phoebo32](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phoebo32)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/49 "2005-11-07T03:26:18Z")
I apologised to a wall after I walked into it. Must…sleep…more…often. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/50 "2005-11-07T03:36:52Z")
As has been my custom for many years upon returning home from a motorcycle ride. I pat the bike on the top of the headlight saying “Good work. You did real well. Thanks” ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/51 "2005-11-07T04:11:16Z")
“Come on…Mean old man won’t hurt you.” Said to my microwavable scented teddy bear just after my husband threw her across the room while he was preparing for bed. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/52 "2005-11-07T05:09:44Z")
I swore at an undergraduate paper that i was grading. The paper itself was not especially good or bad, it was just that i’ve graded quite a few today, i i’m fucking sick of it. My most frequent conversations with an inanimate object generally involve swearing at my computer. ---
**Author:** ![Pensandfeathers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Pensandfeathers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pensandfeathers)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/53 "2005-11-07T07:29:30Z")
“Sweet God, I’m sorry!” To my cell phone, after dropping it in a puddle. ---
**Author:** ![yingtongtiddleipo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/f6c823/32.png) [@yingtongtiddleipo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yingtongtiddleipo)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543/54 "2005-11-07T16:07:08Z")
“If you let me out I’ll never jump in you again” to the lift after an poorly planned gravity experiment this afternoon. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-last-thing-you-said-to-an-inanimate-object/329543.md?page=2)