# What was the right thing to say? Girlfriend situation from way in the past. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 13, 2017, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895 "2017-06-13T20:35:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2017, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/21 "2017-06-13T22:49:15Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > So. What should I have said? Any ideas? Help my 20 year old self out. He’s not very good at talking to girls. “No matter how much she asks. I’m yours, after all.” ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2017, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/22 "2017-06-13T23:00:25Z")
**Martian Bigfoot,** why _did_ you eventually break up with Amber? ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2017, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/23 "2017-06-13T23:01:02Z")
How about some pics, so we can decide if you’re exaggerating about either of them. How many years ago was this? Any updates since then - who’s still got the looks? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2017, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/24 "2017-06-13T23:09:25Z")
Go on the offensive and play the psychiatrist game–counter with questions: e.g., Where did THAT come from?, etc… You gotta get the upper hand. You had no HAND. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2017, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/25 "2017-06-13T23:10:40Z")
When you are dealing with insecurities, there isn’t a magic bullet which will cure them. No right answer will solve things forever. Some people get over them, some don’t. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2017, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/26 "2017-06-13T23:36:26Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > When a person you’re interested in says something, and you feel the need to respond, but don’t know what to say, a good general-purpose default is “You’re right.”. Nobody ever argues with being told they’re right. She says “I’m not very attractive, am I?” “You’re right” is the wrong answer. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/27 "2017-06-14T00:42:05Z")
“What?!”, or “Where the hell did that come from?” with a completely bewildered look might have worked. Staring at her blankly wasn’t that bad of a reaction, IMO. It’s a heck of thing to whip out and drop on the table. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/28 "2017-06-14T02:39:52Z")
Y’all know what else very slightly bugs me? I was wondering, and still am a bit, why, exactly, Amber was so firmly convinced of this fact. I mean, it was a fact, not opinion. When she said things in that tone of voice, they were true, plain and simple. Too bad she never predicted the lottery in that voice. I \*think \*it meant: “Milhouse and I are best friends. She’ll never bang any of my boyfriends, or even ex-boyfriends. It’s a best friend thing.” But it could have meant: “No way in Haiti are you up to Milhouse standards, buddy.” Or maybe even: “Actually, Milhouse doesn’t have a vagina. She’s an alien.” Which would actually explain a few things. But I didn’t inquire further into that. Because I was busy staring into space. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/29 "2017-06-14T03:21:19Z")
I can see why that would eat at you. Maybe she thought you were into Milhouse, maybe Milhouse was into you, maybe she just wanted to know if you were listening to her at all. Can you Facebook her or something and find out? (This is starting to sound like a '90s movie.) ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/30 "2017-06-14T03:23:47Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > It’s a heck of thing to whip out and drop on the table. Had he done that he may have had a chance with Milhouse 😛 Otherwise “_C’est la vie_” is about as much as I could come up with at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/31 "2017-06-14T03:25:17Z")
Thank you for noticing. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/32 "2017-06-14T03:31:35Z")
“Bzzzzzzt!” “…okay, define ‘sex.’” “Pfft, jokes on you!” …are all pretty lousy answers. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/33 "2017-06-14T03:36:01Z")
“Challenge accepted!” then walking out the door probably wouldn’t have gone down well either. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/34 "2017-06-14T03:50:32Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Y’all know what else very slightly bugs me? I was wondering, and still am a bit, why, exactly, Amber was so firmly convinced of this fact. I mean, it was a fact, not opinion. When she said things in that tone of voice, they were true, plain and simple. Too bad she never predicted the lottery in that voice. Her conviction may have had less to do with you than about how well she knew Millhouse. Unless Millhouse slept around, which seems pretty unlikely for someone that introverted, the odds of that being true were really good, for any particular person your girlfriend could’ve made the declaration about. I can tell you with utter confidence a whole bunch of guys that my best friend will never sleep with, and given she’s shy like you say Millhouse is, the odds are great that I’d be right nearly every time. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/35 "2017-06-14T05:45:53Z")
It comes across to me as her being insecure, and thinking you only dated her to be with Milhouse. I don’t know what I’d have said in the moment, but the best response I can come up with is “not really something I’d planned on doing.” I do know how you feel. I’ve twice been told by different women, “You find me fascinating, don’t you?” And I’ve never known what I should have said. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/36 "2017-06-14T06:33:50Z")
“That’s OK, I’ll just have sex with you and think about her” may not be in the Top 100 best answers either. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/37 "2017-06-14T06:41:51Z")
Maybe Amber knew that Milhouse was a lesbian. Anyway, the best thing I can think of in response is: “I want _you_.” But total silence was probably a good option considering how many chances there were to fuck that one up. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/38 "2017-06-14T07:09:06Z")
There are some crucial questions for any of us to have any kind of chance at an educated guess. Had you been banging Amber already when she made her declaration? If so, for how long, and how often? How long had​ it been, at the time? Was it understood to be exclusive at all, or was it more casual? Without knowing any of the above and then some, I don’t see how any of us could begin to guess what she meant and what response you should have given. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/39 "2017-06-14T07:11:03Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Maybe Amber knew that Milhouse was a lesbian This. And so was Amber. And they were a couple. Where exactly Martian Bigfoot fit into this relationship remains unclear, but probably as Amber’s beard in a time when the love that she and Milhouse shared would have been misunderstood by their families and society. The correct answer would have been “Well, obviously. But we’re still on for dinner with your parents next week right?” ---
**Author:** ![wellanuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@wellanuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wellanuff)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895/40 "2017-06-14T07:39:36Z")
“Yeah, her and about a billion other women on this planet…but with you I’ve got a shot.” Although she will quickly correct you with “had…had a shot.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-the-right-thing-to-say-girlfriend-situation-from-way-in-the-past/788895.md?page=3)