# What WAS this person thinking???? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 16, 2000, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482 "2000-02-16T09:23:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tassey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc8723/32.png) [@Tassey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tassey)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/1 "2000-02-16T09:23:00Z")
Ok. I just have to rant about this. This woman gets a call from her daughter that her ex-boyfriend is threatening her. So the woman (who is a daycare provider) proceeds to gather up the NINE children that she was caring for and DRIVES OVER TO HER DAUGHTER’S HOUSE!! The mother ends up getting killed by the stalker/ex-boyfriend and one of the children gets shot in the chest. The child is only 2 and is in critical condition. [Here’s the link.](http://www.apbnews.com/newscenter/breakingnews/2000/02/15/daycare0215_01.html) I feel bad that this person got killed, but what the hell happened to her brain??? It would have been bad enough if she brought her own children to a scene like that, but someone else’s kids?? It gives me the heebie-geebies because I have a toddler that has been in daycare. I have had to remove my son from a daycare provider because of questionable practices. What a complete waste. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/2 "2000-02-16T11:54:00Z")
Boy, it sure is a good thing you have a link for this story, otherwise you would have been called a liar. see, it sounds a tiny bit like it may have been an urban legend, and that stuff never really happens in ‘real life’. Horrible story, good link, and yes, what a dumb-ass bitch for taking those kids to a dangerous place. Its lucky he didnt open fire and kill them all. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/3 "2000-02-16T15:47:00Z")
Completely ignoring Kell’s sarcasm, it **is** really nice to have a link, **Tassey**. Some people shouldn’t have kids. And some shouldn’t take care of other people’s kids. And sometimes they’re both the same person. Once again, I think we need to start demanding Parental Competency Exams. -andros- ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/4 "2000-02-16T16:03:00Z")
There are so manny stupid people in this world . . . . Too bad the guy didn’t kill himself sooner. -Melin ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/5 "2000-02-16T16:14:00Z")
Actually I wasnt being sarcastic. * * * Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/6 "2000-02-16T16:15:00Z")
Oh - fuck you Kel. You see, the OP not only sounds believable and was not extremely similar to an UL, they also provided a link. I understand that not all OPs can or should be backed by a cite, that would be ridiculous, but I have and will continue in the future, question someone who posts an UL as fact. So deal with it, Sweets. ## I agree, what the hell was this woman thinking? As a mother, I can understand her going to her daughter’s aid, but was there no one else working at the daycare center? If she ran it alone from her house, could she not call a neighbor to come watch the kids? Hell, even leaving them home alone for a few minutes would have been a lot safer than packing 9 kids into a car (probably unrestrained) and taking them to confront a known abuser. You better be nice or I’ll sic my lackeys on ya. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/7 "2000-02-16T16:57:00Z")
Agreed, andros. Parental Competency Exams. And no, I’m not kidding. I’ve long thought it a good idea. There are some people who should **just not have or care for children.** ---
**Author:** ![Freedomx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4af34b/32.png) [@Freedomx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freedomx)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/8 "2000-02-16T17:21:00Z")
This sounds like she was 10 children too late for the Darwin Award. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/9 "2000-02-16T17:26:00Z")
I totally agree that some people should not care for or have children. However, I am curious how parental competency exams could work. ## Would we require parents to take a test prior to pregnancy? If they fail, do we sterilize involuntarily? If they are already pregnant and fail, do we force abortion or adoption? What about the children already born, do we remove them from the home without proof of any abuse or neglect? What if one parent passes the exam and the other fails? How often would the exam be required? Who would decide the contents of the exam? You turn me on. But maybe it’s because I just spent 20 years in the jungle, getting it on with anything I could attract with a piece of fruit. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/10 "2000-02-16T17:38:00Z")
(only partially faceitous here) > [@](#): > > Would we require parents to take a test prior to pregnancy? Yes. > [@](#): > > If they fail, do we sterilize involuntarily? Yes. Reversible, preferably. Norplant? > [@](#): > > If they are already pregnant and fail, do we force abortion or adoption? Adoption to a qualified parent, followed by sterilization. Again, reversible. Hell, they might eventually learn some responsibility and pass the tests. > [@](#): > > What about the children already born, do we remove them from the home without proof of any abuse or neglect? Good question. I’m less concerned with the actual instances of abuse or neglect than with the end result. A parent can spend their kid’s life without ever raising their voice in anger and still be a shitty parent churning out an inferior product. > [@](#): > > What if one parent passes the exam and the other fails? I guess the one that passes better find another partner, huh? > [@](#): > > How often would the exam be required? Never. Only people who want to have kids would be required to take it. Decide not to breed, don’t take the test. > [@](#): > > Who would decide the contents of the exam? Well, me, naturally. 🙂 (or Cecil, I guess) -andros- ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/11 "2000-02-16T17:49:00Z")
Diane - I’m not wimping out on the answer here, honest, but I don’t want to be redundant. Andros pretty much did a great job of summing up my thoughts on it too. The only thing I would add is an Education Requirement - that people be educated on how to be a good parent. ---
**Author:** ![onesheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e495f1/32.png) [@onesheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/onesheep)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/12 "2000-02-17T06:01:00Z")
What kind of requirements do they have to get a daycare license these days? Outside of the fact that she obviously was not qualified, isn’t that too many children for one person to take care of? What an idiot! ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/13 "2000-02-17T06:09:00Z")
onesheep, unfortunately, there are a lot of people who do not go and get licensed. They take care of friends kids, friends of friends kids, etc. and just do this out of their home. Usually, it’s much less costly. For some parents, putting a child in full time daycare can almost make it not worth working, they are so expensive. So they use a less expensive alternative. The problem is, these places aren’t licensed, are not regulated, and until something tragic happens, no one even gets caught. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Lucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/14 "2000-02-16T21:22:00Z")
_Parenting licenses?_ Excuse me while I try to sneak out of this country unnoticed. Perhaps if I goose step I’ll blend in better. * * * “I should not take bribes and Minister Bal Bahadur KC should not do so either. But if clerks take a bribe of Rs 50-60 after a hard day’s work, it is not an issue.” ----Krishna Prasad Bhattarai, Current Prime Minister of Nepal ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/15 "2000-02-16T21:31:00Z")
Oh christ, **Lucky** , get over it. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Tassey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc8723/32.png) [@Tassey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tassey)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/16 "2000-02-16T23:48:00Z")
I’m not absolutely positive of the details, but I think that in Calif., you can have up to 12 kids (in a daycare). It may be that you are also required to have assistants, if you have that many. I have had several daycare providers for my son. I had one who was licensed and she was also a CASA advocate, which is a watchdog-type organization for children. SHE was the one who ran the daycare that I pulled my son out of. She was single and didn’t have any of her own children. She evidently didn’t see a problem w/men hanging around her house all day while she “worked”. I knew that one of the men that was hanging around was someone she had just met, because I had met him at the same time. Whether or not the guy was decent was irrelevant. There was no way for her to know that immediately, yet she didn’t have a problem exposing the children to this person. I took my child out of another licensed daycare because the atmosphere was almost like the military. Also, when the provider blew up at me when I questioned her policies, I knew that this was not a place for my son. I have actually had much better experiences w/non-licensed providers. First of all, they’re usually cheaper. Secondly, they tend to be more flexible. Mostly, they were just genuinely good people w/a decent amount of common sense. One of the reasons I shared this w/all of you is that we all have to be on the lookout for the little clues. I’m am sure that there were little clues that this daycare provider gave, but they were apparently ignored. Maybe some people would look at the two incidents that I cited and not think that it was a big deal. I would much rather overreact and be called a fool than have something happen to my son that I could have prevented, in some way. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/17 "2000-02-17T00:10:00Z")
No, Lucky, please don’t get over it. Andros, if you are proposing something as radical as denying people the right to reproduce you will have to show how you can prevent it from amounting to a eugenics program against minorities, the poor, nontraditional families, people who don’t agree with the dominant religion, etc. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/18 "2000-02-17T00:17:00Z")
Devil’s advocate? But I’m thinking how hard it would be for mom to call 911 (and who knows what response times are in that neighborhood?) and then just sit and wait to hear what happened? What would we have all been saying if she’d left the kids alone and gone to help her daughter? Sounds to me like she behaved like a typical mom. The real villain here is the stalker, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/19 "2000-02-17T00:26:00Z")
Firstly, I’m not proposing a thing. Secondly, I think it’s plainly obvious that I have no power to magically deprive anyone of their precious rights to squirt out kids without any basis for supporting them or raising them. Check that. It’s plainly obvious to me that I don’t have that power. Maybe not to y’all. So let me make that clear. _I don’t have magic powers._ Thirdly, if I were seriously proposing something, I’d hardly bother posting it in the Pit, for ghod’s sake! I would possibly post it in GQ or GD, but I might even (if I actually believed this “proposal” to be worth my time) _express it in the real world_. (Fourthly, race and religion didn’t enter into it. Wealth did, but only inasmuch as parents need to be able to feed and clothe their children.) Now, then. I feel it would be nice to live in a world where every child was wanted, every child was fed and clothed and educated, every child was raised to respect others. It would be nice to live in a world where parents didn’t beat the shit out of their kids and didn’t leave their kids with a babysitter who ends up getting them shot. And by god it would be nice to live in a world where **I didn’t have to pay for other people’s shitty parenting.** Do I need to be more clear? Here, the short version: It was a joke. Deal. -andros- [www.zpg.org](http://www.zpg.org) [www.npg.org](http://www.npg.org) ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Dirty\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Devil)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2000, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482/20 "2000-02-17T00:27:00Z")
Lucky and cher: I agree with the both of you. Who makes the test? Who sets the standards? Who makes the final decisions? And why stop at parenting? Why not have the government test all kids at a young age to determine if they’ll turn into “good” or “bad” adults? If the test says they’re “bad”, we ship them off to isolation camps so they can’t possibly hurt the ones deemed “good”. Just forget about free will all together. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea! Get over it, my ass! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-was-this-person-thinking/4482.md?page=2)