I forgot Mae West in Sextette, truely awful in every respect. Tough to think of Timothy Dalton as James Bond after this festering pit. What was Mae West thinking? An 85 year old vamping sex pot? Ughhhhh.
From what I heard, yes, it was a joke. I’d heard that he was supposed to share the stage with a metal artist (Alice Cooper?) who was supposed to be dressed in typical Pat Boone style, while Boone would be doing the metal thing, but Cooper (or whoever) chickened out at the last minute.
I was going to nominate Borg, but you beat me to it.
Actually, they’re on tour right now.
Jon
The Billy Idol comeback fizzled out pretty fast. He had that big tour, did a song with Tony Iommi and then…nothing.
Jon
But that episode was awesome…
“Hey Pat, remember me? I was at that concert of yours all those years ago. I was the one in the cape and the cowl, remember? Every now and then I would say, ‘Sing another song.’ That was a little cheer I made up.”
LC
I don’t understand why Wil Wheaton was mentioned. He was a child actor and when he had had enough, decided not to pursue acting any further. I don’t see how this is a failed comback.
And his website is great.
Dana Carvey. Pretty good on SNL, made two Wayne’s World movies, had a kickass HBO special (“Framin’ OJ? Hell, I loved those Naked Gun movies. But you’re right, it’s just too good.”), then… Master of Disguise. The end.
Maybe he should have told his opponents, “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.”
On a recent thread we were discussing 1940s femme fatale Veronic Lake and her trademark peekaboo hairstyle. A poster mentioned a film called “Flesh Feast,” and this has to qualify in the top ten of awful comebacks.
Even if that “legend” isn’t true, Lake had fallen on hard times and this movie was supposed to be her comeback. I haven’t seen it, but prominent plot elements include maggots, corpses, a mad doctor (Lake) and lots of unpleasantness.
And if that’s not bad enough for you, there’s the legendarily awful “Sextette” in which Mae West casts herself as a sex goddess whom all the men in the film are slavering over. What do you say – that’s a classic Mae West role? Oh, sure, several decades before she made this film. She was 87 years old! Future James Bond Timothy Dalton has the role as her husband-to-be, and those who have seen it say he looked, uh, a bit uncomfortable romancing her.
Mark Hamill couldn’t screw up on his comeback - he chose not to go on and be a burnt-out “star”. In other words, he never had a “come-back” because he never left. He does what he likes, and from what I hear he’s pretty darn good.
Not quite.
Alice and Pat were onstage as copresenters at… (memory failure) some music awards show. (MTV?)
Pat was indeed done up in leathers and white bucks, (and a ridiculous pair of shades, IIRC) but Alice simply wore street clothes. One of the tunes covered on Pat’s album was No More Mr. Nice Guy, hence his choice of copresenter.
It was pretty much a non-event.
But it was done with tongue firmly planted in cheek.
And, in one o’ those show biz coinkydinks…
Alice was also in the aforementioned Sextette, in a cameo as the bellboy at the hotel.
I think you could also have a category for artists who looked like they were about to do a John Travolta-esque comeback but in the end amounted to nothing. I nominate:
Burt Reynolds in Boogie Nights. Oscar nomination, looked like he might have a second shot at being a big name. And then… nothing.
Pam Grier in Jackie Brown. She was excellent, and I was looking forward to seeing her in other movies, but again, nothing happened.
How about Terry Moore? After a brief career as a starlet highlighted by Mighty Joe Young, she tried to make a comeback at age 50 by posing nude in Playboy. Hollywood did not come calling, perhaps because they couldn’t afford all the gauze used in her photo shoot.
And you could nominate virtually all the members of the original (1950s era) Mickey Mouse Club except for Annette.
Burt Reynolds kind of did himself in the second time around by making the same mistakes he did the first time, doing lackluster action flicks - mostly straight to video fare this time. He could be a solid supporting actor, or even the lead in small dramas (his 80s crime dramedy flick Breaking In is worth seeking out) but he mostly went back to tired shoot 'em ups and macho roles he wore out his wlecome in years ago. Maybe he still needs the money after going bankrupt, maybe he thought two wrongs do make a right (doing a racing film, doing a film with Stallone).
Most of the original Mouseketeers don’t really qualify, having never attempted a comeback. [ul][]Sherry did voice work for cartoons for 20 years. []Sharon was a regular for Sid & Marty Krofft and hasn’t really done anything since. []Lonnie has mainly been associated with the stage and has appeared on Broadway.[]Tommy has been doing makeup for movies and TV since 1979.Johnny and Cubby are professional musicians.[/ul] All info except Lonnie’s is from the IMDb.
Muppets Tonight anyone?
Those non-Who’s The Boss shows with Toni Danza playing guys named Tony?
The Nets recent trip back to the finals?
Presumably, the worst failed comebacks are the ones you never hear about, because they never get far enough along to attract any attention.
My nominee for one I personally witnessed part of was two-time Cy Young award winner Denny McClain’s attempt to come back from his series of suspensions and legal problems. After disastrous seasons in 1971 (22 losses) and 1972 (bouncing around from Oakland to Atlanta), I saw him pitching in 1973 for the Shreveport Captains (a Brewers farm club at the time, IIRC) against the Arkansas Travelers at Ray Winder Field. About 5,000 people showed up (it’s not every day a former 30-game winner pitches in Little Rock). McClain didn’t make it out of the first inning, getting only two outs and giving up five or so runs before being lifted. Things kept going downhill from there for McClain, leading to multiple prison stints.
Bob Newhart’s last two ventures, BOB and MAX & LEO, were both stinkers that he should have known better than to take (and I’m sure he doesn’t need the money).
Though apparently it has an audience, Martin Short as GLICK is to me a senseless and unfunny show that pales next to his most mediocre SCTV sketch.
Chevy Chase (supposedly one of the most impossible to work with names in Hollywood) in everything other than VACATION movies since 1980.
Carson Daly (who’s not so much trying for a comeback as trying to hang on by his fingertips to whatever fame he has) on his talk show. A trained orangutan and a psycho homeless person would have better interview skills and cost a lot less. (There’s a rumor that he and Jimmy Fallon are closeted lovers, incidentally; while I’m 99.9% sure it’s false, it is an enticing visual.)
Ellen DeGeneres’ last TV show.
Everything Faye Dunaway has done since COLD SASSY TREE.