# What were you THINKING? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532 "2023-10-13T19:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 188
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4037 "2025-03-02T22:49:31Z")
Thank you for linking to that. It has been a long week and I am not currently up to finding the ‘Teacher fired for doing porn’ thread and re reading **Beck** ’s posts. I was in that thread. As has been said elsewhere- posting a long string of untrue facts and then saying ‘in my opinion’ does not hold up. Saying ‘Star Trek-The Motion Picture sucked, in my opinion.’ is fine. Saying ‘Star Trek-The Motion Picture was released in 1995 and starred Dustin Hoffman, in my opinion’ does not change that you made a factual claim and were in error. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4038 "2025-03-02T22:54:46Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > By definition a woman who is older than you, or has had gastric bypass surgery, is never going to be physically attractive? You’re putting words into my mouth, but if you must know, I wasn’t physically attracted to my wife when we first got together, and I didn’t want to marry her. I fell in love after we got married, and she became very beautiful to me as the years progressed. So, no, an older woman can be quite attractive (there’s one at work I have a non serous crush on - I love her chipper personality), and there’s a “heavier” woman at the gym that I think is so appealing. But in my particular case I definitely didn’t marry for looks. So I’ll own my changing standards. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4039 "2025-03-02T22:55:39Z")
So the shorter and more clear answer is “No issue was raised, not because she was fine with what I posted, but because I have kept her in the dark about it.” Next time you might want to talk to her directly about revealing her personal information on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4040 "2025-03-02T22:58:20Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > revealing her personal information on the internet. It’s all over the fucking internet. And it’s not personal. How would you feel if somebody identified you as Czarcasm on an Internet message board? ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4041 "2025-03-02T22:58:47Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > not every person who exercises and eats well has a gorgeous body. Maybe they had a mastectomy. Maybe they just weren’t blessed with conventional good looks or a tiny waist. _That_ part is superficial. Just fucking own it. Yup. In addition, some people who do have what’s generally considered gorgeous bodies have terrible diets. You really can’t judge what somebody eats by what they look like. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4042 "2025-03-02T23:01:32Z")
Fine, _because I have already given permission to quite a few people._ ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4043 "2025-03-02T23:02:40Z")
My Google Fu is weak. So I freely admit I have no cite. I would be surprised if no ‘fan’ of hers had found her actual name and address and posted them on the net. We’ve had threads on whether Linda Lovelace (Deep Throat among others) consented to the sex she had on film. She says she did not. She also says that fans have gotten hold of her real name and address and send her letters every day. As I said, we have debated whether the first statement is true. IIRC All posters accepted the second. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4044 "2025-03-02T23:08:41Z")
I still believe that. You don’t _know_ until you _know_. This “Ooh, look I got me a porn actress on my arm” is just gross. Smacks of bragging to the boys. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4045 "2025-03-02T23:08:50Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > No issue was raised, not because she was fine with what I posted, but because I have kept her in the dark about it. I can’t possibly be the first person who has posted about their relationship concerns on the Dope without wanting to read it to their significant other. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4046 "2025-03-02T23:12:16Z")
I’d be concerned about dating a person who doesn’t follow the news or politics and doesn’t vote. Does that give you pause? How do you know what her values are? ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4047 "2025-03-02T23:13:30Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > I can’t possibly be the first person who has posted about their relationship concerns on the Dope without wanting to read it to their significant other. “Others did it too” never is a good justification. I sure wouldn’t post anything about my SO that I wouldn’t share with them. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4048 "2025-03-02T23:17:28Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > This “Ooh, look I got me a porn actress on my arm” is just gross. > Smacks of bragging to the boys. It isn’t the bragging that bothers me. As I said above, I am concerned that giving her stage name may lead to finding her real name and address. Also, I am concerned that you didn’t obtain her consent to post her stage name before posting it. I brag about the beauty of my Gobi all the time. Long agao, she explicitly forbade me to post any photographs of any kind showing her face anywhere on the internet. I have uploaded only photograph of her. Her face is covered in white mnake up and she is wearing an N95 mask. I still made sure to get her consent before I uploaded it. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4049 "2025-03-02T23:17:30Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > I sure wouldn’t post anything about my SO that I couldn’t share with them. Certainly that, and I have never posted anything about My Beloved that she didn’t first know about. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4050 "2025-03-02T23:21:00Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I am concerned that giving her stage name may lead to finding her real name and address. I don’t see how I did so. I mean that sincerely. Is it that somebody would Connect it to my name here? And since people here know im a lawyer, who practices in Florida, that would be the link they need? Any risk of connecting her stage name - which in fact has a dormant social media presence - to the real person wasn’t created by me. It was done as a function of that career choice. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4051 "2025-03-02T23:24:10Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > ny risk of connecting her stage name - which in fact has a dormant social media presence - to the real person wasn’t created by me. It was done as a function of that career choice. As I said, that stage name may have been doxxed. If it has, then giving that stage name here would be the first step in her being doxxed as a result of your post. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4052 "2025-03-02T23:24:17Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > And since people here know im a lawyer, who practices in Florida, that would be the link they need? You’re a fucking lawyer? Is your name Lionel Hutz by chance? 😂 ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4053 "2025-03-02T23:25:49Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Any risk of connecting her stage name - which in fact has a dormant social media presence - to the real person wasn’t created by me. Remind us, who posted her stage name again? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4054 "2025-03-02T23:27:40Z")
Remember-He didn’t post every single solitary step that leads directly to her personal identification, so he is _completely_ in the clear! ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4055 "2025-03-02T23:29:02Z")
And you can’t find her pr0n with a google search of her pr0n name . . . well, not with ‘safe search’ on at least. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4056 "2025-03-02T23:30:33Z")
Yeah, that was the bragging part: look how well my date can fuck! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=187) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=189)