# What were you THINKING? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532 "2023-10-13T19:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 189
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4057 "2025-03-02T23:38:54Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > So it might seem superficial when I am selecting for woman with very nice bodies, but it’s actually not. Actually it is. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4058 "2025-03-02T23:48:08Z")
How so? Are you saying it in the sense that having a preference for any one characteristic is superficial? I mean, if somebody said they only wanted to date somebody who knew how to cook, or liked to go out to live music, is that the same kind of superficial? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4059 "2025-03-02T23:56:08Z")
Uh…yeh?? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4060 "2025-03-02T23:56:24Z")
You don’t say, “She bakes a lovely pie” or “Damn, that women is well read” You said she had “luscious lips and a great body” You, grossly objectified her. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4061 "2025-03-02T23:58:38Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > You said she had “luscious lips and a great body” > a tall beauty with lean legs and large natural breasts ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2025, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4062 "2025-03-02T23:59:43Z")
And here, guys go look. This is her porn name. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4063 "2025-03-03T00:02:25Z")
I’m not going to make an effort to tell a sexually-objectifying male jerk exactly how he is objectifying. I don’t know whether you are simply juvenile, or whether you’re sealioning, and I find I don’t really care which it is. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4064 "2025-03-03T00:05:12Z")
Defending oneself in a Pit thread is never a winning strategy. Whether you are in the right or the braying mob is in the right doesn’t much matter. The mob wins every time. The closest thing to a winning strategy is not to play. The mob will eventually tire of beating a non-responsive horse _in absentia_. Besides, soon enough some other dumbshit will say/do something dumb and then it’s their turn in the barrel, not yours. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4065 "2025-03-03T00:09:14Z")
The thread (in, current, question) as performed by Monty Python’s Flying Circus, [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/PWCUi4FngI4/hqdefault.jpg "Monty Python Nudge Nudge Candid Photography Sketch from 1971") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWCUi4FngI4) ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4066 "2025-03-03T00:24:16Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > a sexually-objectifying male jerk Since we are in the pit, you can go fuck yourself with your opinion. I bust my ass in the gym five days a fucking week, and I don’t eat shit like 99% of the people in this fucking country. And as a result I look real fucking good doing it If I am seeking somebody out who not only has those values, but is successful in implementing them, I’m not doing so for superficial reasons . But I am also not going to shy away from my mammalian drive either. A man’s attraction to the female form doesn’t make him a jerk. Finding women stunning or gorgeous or beautiful or luscious doesn’t make him shallow, either. You can have your last word - I’m going into the jail to talk to a guy accused of strangling his girlfriend (oh no! Did I dox him by revealing such personal details?). But my mistake was in being completely honest about my feelings. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4067 "2025-03-03T00:25:43Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > But my mistake was in being completely honest about my feelings. Nope. Not even close. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4068 "2025-03-03T00:30:42Z")
I guess I can’t complain that this somewhat useful thread has now become that other distasteful thread, for the indefinite future. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4069 "2025-03-03T00:40:40Z")
I could say some shit, but I’ll refrain. You started this whole thing by saying “Fuck my Life” I think you know what the problem is. I like you. I like your threads. You seem like an ok guy. I hope this works out great for you. I wish a pleasant relationship for you two. Lots of good memories. I have no advice. Just good thoughts. Don’t let this get to you. If feels horrible to think people here are not understanding you. And you can’t make it right. I count 3 threads you’ve opened about this relationship that you say is “emotionally exhausting” already. Stop. Don’t do anymore. Go, Enjoy your new friend. Have a great life. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4070 "2025-03-03T00:41:47Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > But my mistake was in being completely honest about my feelings. Ah, we have reached the point in the thread where the pittee claims victimhood. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4071 "2025-03-03T00:43:18Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > We’ve had threads on whether Linda Lovelace (Deep Throat among others) consented to the sex she had on film. She says she did not. She also says that fans have gotten hold of her real name and address and send her letters every day. If I can momentarily bring this thread back around to That Which Truly Matters … Ms. Lovelace is buried a mere five miles from my brother and SIL’s house. So now you know. As you were. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4072 "2025-03-03T00:53:46Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > But I am also not going to shy away from my mammalian drive either. A man’s attraction to the female form doesn’t make him a jerk. Finding women stunning or gorgeous or beautiful or luscious doesn’t make him shallow, either. My mammalian drive tells me: yep, this guy’s so shallow he’s unnavigable. Avoid like plague. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4073 "2025-03-03T07:01:55Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > One of my classmates in a small ceramics class way back in college was the stereotypical stripper who did it to make money so she could pay for classes, get a degree and move on to the career she really wanted. My sister worked as a stripper for a while for the same reason. I worked for a small music festival which had various themes each time it was held, one of was which was “The Wedding”. The organisers hired a stripper to portray the bride (she was not required to strip, just to look good. In any case, she was wearing one of those bouffant/corset wedding dresses that probably require 7 bridesmaids to put on and take off). Chatting to her backstage she told me she’s a PhD student in her native Eastern European country, so stripping in South Africa was a lucrative way to pay the bills anonymously. I don’t recall the subject of her thesis, but judging by her intelligence, I am pretty much convinced she was telling the truth. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4074 "2025-03-03T14:10:27Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > My mammalian drive tells me: yep, this guy’s so shallow he’s unnavigable. Avoid like plague I confess that I only quickly scanned the thread but when I saw this > [@](#): > > before this came to light, she was texting me about wanting me “inside her“ I figured that wasn’t the thread for me. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4075 "2025-03-03T14:53:18Z")
If Moriarty is in his 20s, then okay, he’s a typical sex-focused young man with little self awareness, and hopefully he’ll grow out of it (and be embarrassed that his attitude has been preserved forever in the internet). If he’s not in his 20s, then IMO this has been a rather sad display, and I hope he figures it out and works on improving himself. Not a good look at all. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2025, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4076 "2025-03-03T14:54:46Z")
My first thought , TBH, was about a certain sexy paraplegic girl with an active love life and no filters. I never had a problem with the situation being described, but there are so many better ways to do this than what came out. It all came across as a disturbing and puzzling hybrid of Dear Abby and Penthouse Letters. TMI. The thread would have been quality content without the absolutely needless salacious details. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=188) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=190)