# What were you THINKING? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532 "2023-10-13T19:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 194
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4157 "2025-03-16T13:18:17Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > I’m the proper English speaking son of a proper UK born English teacher, and while I never used “y’all” or even “you all” to address a group (or, shudder, a single person) I do know its provenance. Would the Received Pronunciation be something like “yool”? Yole? Anyway, at least it ain’t “ain’t,” in that “y’all” is, arguably, a cromulent contraction of “you” and “all” whereas even if Lisa can tell someone what it “ain’t,” she can’t tell you what it “ain”(hat-tip to _The Simpsons_). ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_McQwark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Steve\_McQwark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_McQwark)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4158 "2025-03-16T13:29:10Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > I really like y’all. You can take the boy out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the boy. My first thought on reading this was “We like you, too.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4159 "2025-03-16T14:00:23Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > But come on, let’s lighten up a little and consider that terms like “you guys” applied to a group of men and women, or of women only, has a perfectly understandable gender-neutral meaning in the present day. It is a forced “gender neutralism” that takes to side of the oppressor over the oppressed, and the only side thus being asked to “lighten up” _are_ the oppressed. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4160 "2025-03-16T14:09:30Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > It is a forced “gender neutralism” that takes to side of the oppressor over the oppressed Only if you’re a raging activist rather than a normal human being recognizing and accepting social progress. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4161 "2025-03-16T14:13:46Z")
Not all movement is progress, and not all of the oppressed are “raging activists”…but that _is_ a common practice when one wants to dismiss the opposing side with open contempt, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4162 "2025-03-16T14:29:28Z")
I guess I’ll have to tell my wife, whose family has been calling her “dude” for years, long before I met her, and she sometimes does the same with our girls (usually when she’s frustrated - “are you kidding me, dude?”) - that she’s internalized patriarchal sexism and has become her own oppressor. Oh, and that she’s perpetuating cycles of oppression. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4163 "2025-03-16T14:33:57Z")
Or that she gave up because fighting the supposedly inevitable was a major hassle. Or you tell your wife that someone else is saying all that made-up shit just to make someone else look bad-your choice, I guess. I can see why _you_ don’t see the problem, though. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4164 "2025-03-16T14:39:42Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Or that she gave up because fighting the supposedly inevitable was a major hassle. Gave up fighting what? Why are you assuming that she wanted to fight being called “dude”? Why are you perpetuating your own preconceived notions and gender stereotypes onto others? Fucking bigot. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > Or you tell your wife that someone else is saying all that made-up shit just to make someone else look bad-your choice, I guess. I don’t think you’re doing it to make people look bad! I think you’re doing it because you get off on scolding others. That’s why a good 90% of your posts on the Dope are nothing but scolding. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4165 "2025-03-16T14:41:40Z")
Your perception is your problem-nothing i can do about it. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4166 "2025-03-16T14:46:25Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Your perception is your problem-nothing i can do about it Likewise - if you think that women who embrace emergingly gender neutral terms like “you guys” or “dude” are only doing so out of browbeaten acceptance of their oppression, then your perception is your problem, and there’s nothing anyone can do to help you pull your head out of your own ass. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4167 "2025-03-16T14:50:11Z")
And the fact that these supposedly “gender-neutral” terms just happen to be male oriented is my imagination, of course, easily disproved by all those accepted “gender-neutral” terms that are _female_ oriented, like…? ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4168 "2025-03-16T14:52:37Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > I guess I’ll have to tell my wife, whose family has been calling her “dude” for years My wife calls everyone dude. She says it’s from spending time during her college years in California. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4169 "2025-03-16T14:55:21Z")
> [@ASL\_v2.0](#): > > Would the Received Pronunciation be something like “yool”? Yole? Yawl, with just the faintest catch after the Y. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4170 "2025-03-16T14:55:25Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > She says it’s from spending time during her college years in California. When was she in college? The casual usage of “Dude” was almost eradicated in California after _Fast Times at Ridgemont High_ came out. It’s only used humorously in my social circles (which include a lot of surfers). ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4171 "2025-03-16T14:56:55Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > When was she in college? Mid 90s? I wasn’t there and don’t really care enough to try to “defend” it; it’s just what she says. Maybe she invented an elaborate lie to justify her patriarchal use of “dude”! 😲 ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4172 "2025-03-16T14:57:11Z")
It’s hardly surprising that a sexist, patriarchal society commonly uses sexist and patriarchal terms. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4173 "2025-03-16T14:57:25Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > And the fact that these supposedly “gender-neutral” terms just happen to be male oriented is my imagination, of course, easily disproved by all those accepted “gender-neutral” terms that are _female_ oriented, like…? Can you please quote where I said anything like the above? No, of course not; in a historically patriarchal society like ours, male terms are much more likely to become gender neutral. That doesn’t mean those terms, once they become gender neutral, are evil and oppressive. As we continue to progress towards a more egalitarian society, I expect female terms will eventually become more common as gender neutral terms. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4174 "2025-03-16T14:57:36Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > It is a forced “gender neutralism” that takes to side of the oppressor over the oppressed, and the only side thus being asked to “lighten up” _are_ the oppressed. That’s the very definition of the perfect being the enemy of the good. Say that we all start referring to everyone with male pronouns. Will people in the future, who have been born into the new language, care or even know that “he” once only referred to males? Would it make any difference? ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4175 "2025-03-16T15:00:17Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > When was she in college? The casual usage of “Dude” was almost eradicated in California after _Fast Times at Ridgemont High_ came out. It’s only used humorously in my social circles (which include a lot of surfers). Not my experience at all. When I was a kid in California in the 2000s everyone said dude all the time. But not like in a surfer “DUUUUDE”, just a really downplayed “dude”. The only guy I know who did the long drawn out surfer DUUUUDEs was a Central American exchange student in college. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4176 "2025-03-16T15:00:35Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Mid 90s? Maybe she went to school with a lot of out-of-staters trying to fit in. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=193) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=195)