# What were you THINKING? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532 "2023-10-13T19:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 195
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4177 "2025-03-16T15:01:34Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > It is a forced “gender neutralism” that takes to side of the oppressor over the oppressed, and the only side thus being asked to “lighten up” _are_ the oppressed. Actually, dude, you’re the one being asked to “lighten up”, and you’re man, soooooo… ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4178 "2025-03-16T15:02:28Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Maybe she went to school with a lot of out-of-staters trying to fit in. Again, literally don’t care. Just saw Babale’s comment and was “Heh, yeah…” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4179 "2025-03-16T15:02:37Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > Not my experience at all. When I was a kid in California in the 2000s everyone said dude all the time. Must be a generational thing. You kids should find your own thing instead of resurrecting tired old Boomer lingo. Dig? ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4180 "2025-03-16T15:06:33Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Must be a generational thing. Probably. > [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > You kids should find your own thing instead of resurrecting tired old Boomer lingo. Dig? Maybe you should have come up with your own thing rather than resurrecting tired old Cowpoke lingo, pardner. Anyways, the Zoomers made up their own lingo, and… _Shudder_. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4181 "2025-03-16T15:09:10Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > Anyways, the Zoomers made up their own lingo, and… _Shudder_. Is Skibidi Toilet patriarchal? ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4182 "2025-03-16T15:12:08Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Is Skibidi Toilet patriarchal?. No, it’s an example of the great strides we have made in gender equality. Back in my day, it would have been Skibidi Urinal. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4183 "2025-03-16T15:30:49Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > Ever notice how terms that are supposedly used in gender-neutral ways are always male gendered? > > Yes, “guys” and “dude” are often used for both genders. But don’t pretend it isn’t because of latent sexism. I’ll grant that 1. It is far more common for terms that are originally or also male-gendered (than female-gendered) to be used in gender-neutral ways (although “bitch” may be an occasional exception?). And I can accept that 1. Sexism has a lot to do with why this is the case. But I think it is a huge leap of logic to therefore conclude that 1. It is sexist, oppressive, and blameworthy to use originally male-gendered words in gender-neutral ways, when those words are nowadays very commonly used in gender-neutral ways, by a wide variety of people. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4184 "2025-03-16T15:40:00Z")
How about just sexist in origin and _possibly_ oppressive in the long run if left unchecked? ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4185 "2025-03-16T15:42:36Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > But I think it is a huge leap of logic to therefore conclude that > > 1. It is sexist, oppressive, and blameworthy to use originally male-gendered words in gender-neutral ways, when those words are nowadays very commonly used in gender-neutral ways, by a wide variety of people. Exactly right. It seems that some people are just naturally contrarian, or just spoiling for a fight for some other reason. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4186 "2025-03-16T15:42:58Z")
I think that’s mostly a good way to look at it. It’s the definition of microaggression - by itself, it’s a very trivial, stupid thing to get upset about. But add up all the things like this, and it’s worth considering. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4187 "2025-03-16T15:50:42Z")
Much better than what I originally said. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4188 "2025-03-16T15:51:59Z")
It’s long been the case with regard to gender that female equals special case, leaving male to default to neutral. To what extent should the unique features of being female be so acknowledged? Short of an ahistorical matriarchy so extreme that males were regarded as bizarrely aberrant from the “norm” of being female, how could this have been different? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4189 "2025-03-16T15:58:51Z")
I recently read the myth of Pandora with my third graders, and I have never empathized so heavily with a mythological character. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4190 "2025-03-16T16:00:51Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > It’s long been the case with regard to gender that female equals special case, leaving male to default to neutral. Do you have a cite or persuasive argument for this assertion? And is it not evident that, if it is true, it is only because of the male dominance of society? > [@Lumpy](#): > > how could this have been different? I don’t know, just spit-balling here, maybe if men made an effort to treat and speak of women as equals instead of as bizarrely aberrant from themselves? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4191 "2025-03-16T16:01:12Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > It’s long been the case with regard to gender that female equals special case, leaving male to default to neutral. To what extent should the unique features of being female be so acknowledged? Not seeing a misogynistic problem here at _all_. 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4192 "2025-03-16T16:01:19Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I recently read the myth of Pandora with my third graders, and I have never empathized so heavily with a mythological character. Well, there’s no hope at the bottom of _this_ box. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4193 "2025-03-16T16:03:06Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Do you have a cite or persuasive argument for this assertion? In the history of mankind, has there ever been a person who _doubted_ this assertion? And if there has been, what was his argument? You guys are questioning something self-evident here. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4194 "2025-03-16T16:06:01Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Not seeing a misogynistic problem here at _all_. 🙄 Is it misogyny to acknowledge that only women can bear and (in pre-agricultural times) provide milk for infants? And that this reproductive specialization has historically dominated women’s time and energy? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4195 "2025-03-16T16:09:38Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Is it misogyny to acknowledge that only women can bear and (in pre-agricultural times) provide milk for infants? And that this reproductive specialization has historically dominated women’s time and energy? Oh for fuck’s sake. “Is it bigoted to throw out a couple of obvious facts, and then to build a whole fucked up set of cultural conclusions on those? Is it? _Is it???_” ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4196 "2025-03-16T16:12:22Z")
My point was, to what extent should femininity be regarded as a “protected class” rather than as ghettoization? ETA: never mind; there’s no winning a debate with the woke crowd here, because they predefine their position as correct and any dissidence from that as self-evident proof of bigotry. I’m out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=194) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=196)