# What were you THINKING? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532 "2023-10-13T19:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 197
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4217 "2025-03-16T21:35:04Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > lternatives like “you people” or “you folks” just don’t have quite the same connotation to my ear. You are of course entitled to your opinion. Personally, I’ve used “Folks” or “Hey folks” for years and finds that it comes easy to me, though an argument could be made that it’s deliberately affected language or ever-so slightly regional and archaic. I am _personally_ happier using it, even given that possible complaint than using guys in mixed company. I tend to be very aware of it IRL because for most of my adult life with my wife (and previously exclusive SO) she was the only woman (or rarely one of two) in our social group of gamers, and while she never made a big point of it, she did vent to me about always being treated as “one of the boys”. No, she didn’t want to be put on a pedestal to be worshipped but not _respected_ per the trope of _some_ gaming groups, but she also didn’t want to be take for granted as an _honorary male_ (yes, sarcasm intended). IMHO, YMMV, I do not expect to speak for all, etc. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4218 "2025-03-16T21:43:00Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > “Everybody” or just a collective “you” works just fine. Whatever you call them, don’t call them “people”. Yeah, the “people” thing generally doesn’t work well. A phrase like “you people” just begs to be followed by something like “… are crazy!”. 😀 But neither “everybody” nor “you” seems quite right when inviting a couple over for dinner, one of whom is trans. “Everybody” is clearly inappropriate, and “you” risks being interpreted as inviting only one of them. Life would be easier for me if “you guys” was the accepted form of casual address for mixed genders. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4219 "2025-03-16T21:53:10Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I just think it’s time that “you guys” was well recognized as gender-neutral. Gender-specific terms typically follow 4 steps. 1. A profession is staffed by a single gender so the gendered term isn’t an issue 2. The other gender starts to join. A new term is created (firewoman, mail lady). 3. The separate terms feel clunky, so there’s a push to redefine the original term as non-gendered (“they’re all firemen, it doesn’t actually mean they’re men”) 4. A new non-gendered term becomes standard (firefighter, mail carrier) When you’re at step 3, it feels like you’ve made progress. And who knows, maybe “guys” will eventually become truly non-gendered, not just a bunch of men arguing it should be. But history isn’t on your side. 10-15 years ago, I didn’t see many people complaining about its use. But at my last 3 companies since then, there have been gentle suggestions to use a more inclusive term. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4220 "2025-03-16T21:55:53Z")
I’m not Southern, but I have incorporated both “Howdy,” “Y’all (+/- singular),” and – when the situation requires – “All y’all (+/- plural)” into my vocabulary. They have great utility. ETA: _Of course,_ it’s not quite that simple: > **[all y'all - Wiktionary, the free dictionary](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/all_y%27all)** But it seems to function pretty much as I described. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4221 "2025-03-16T21:58:46Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I’m super-sensitive about the issue. No, you’re not. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4222 "2025-03-16T22:02:28Z")
FYI … @Johanna started a thread that might be of interest to some of the participants here – particularly those participating in the latter posts: ``` https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683?u=davidnrockies ``` ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4223 "2025-03-16T22:03:06Z")
Also a question for women in Polls only: No discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4224 "2025-03-16T22:03:38Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > And who knows, maybe “guys” will eventually become truly non-gendered Just like “meter maid”. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4225 "2025-03-16T22:13:46Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > […]Alternatives like “you people” or “you folks” just don’t have quite the same connotation to my ear.[…] [Robert Downey, Jr in _Tropic Thunder_] What do you mean “you people?” [/RDJ] ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4226 "2025-03-16T22:23:48Z")
> [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > > [@wolfpup](#): > > > > I’m super-sensitive about the issue. > > No, you’re not. Don’t tell me what I’m sensitive to, you fucking belligerent asshole. You’re on my ignore list as of right now. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4227 "2025-03-16T22:28:04Z")
Ah, the blessed relief of “ignore” starts right now! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4228 "2025-03-16T22:29:23Z")
I’ll leave your performance in the [‘Bill Maher’ thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/real-time-with-bill-maher/991367/854?) for others to decide just how sensitive you are. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4229 "2025-03-16T22:34:54Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > A good friend of mine is a trans woman And, dear lord, ‘One of my best friends is a…’ isn’t universally understood to be a cover for the bigoty that always follows it? ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4230 "2025-03-16T22:36:42Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Life would be easier for me Is this our goal? Women’s feelings be damned, if I can have an easier time selecting words to use for mixed company? ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4231 "2025-03-16T22:36:52Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Don’t tell me what I’m sensitive to, you fucking belligerent asshole. You’re on my ignore list as of right now. Well, you’re certainly sensitive to some things. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4232 "2025-03-16T22:39:09Z")
Just curious, anyone know what the board experience is like when all the other posters are on your ignore list? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4233 "2025-03-16T22:43:11Z")
The sound of one hand clapping. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2025, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4234 "2025-03-16T23:11:02Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > The sound of one hand clapping I fear that you misspelled “fapping”. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4235 "2025-03-17T00:19:28Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > The sound of one hand clapping. Lets have no humor in the pit, young person. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/4236 "2025-03-17T01:17:32Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > How about just sexist in origin and _possibly_ oppressive in the long run if left unchecked? Fer crissakes, if I, an elderly female New Englander, blurt out an exasperated “DUUUUUUUUUDE!” at my cat, or my computer, or the thing I just dropped, am I being oppressed by the patriarchy? The damned word just SOUNDS perfect for such moments. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=196) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=198)